Episode Transcript
[00:00:12] Lauren: Welcome back to Spill the Tea HSV.
[00:00:14] Lauren: With Lauren and Bree.
This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances, contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 256-801-1000, or visit them online at www.alabamalaw.com. when your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
Lauren: Hey, Bree.
[00:00:48] Bree: Hey, Lauren.
[00:00:50] Lauren: How's your week?
[00:00:50] Bree: It's dumpster fire, as usual.
Not really. I've not matched with anybody really talking to anybody, but I did come across this one. You know, I love a man that's covered in tattoos.
[00:01:01] Lauren: Mm.
[00:01:01] Bree: Love it.
[00:01:02] Bree: Like, that's my.
It just gets me every time. But anyways, this guy zoomed in. I was looking at all of his pictures of his tattoos and stuff. Well, in his bio, he stated that he wanted to make sure whoever he was gonna be with was over their ex.
Like that, you know, that no former attachments, nothing like that. So start zooming in. I'm looking at his tattoos, trying to.
[00:01:21] Bree: See what they're of.
[00:01:22] Bree: The first one that stood out was across his stomach, says heartless.
[00:01:26] Lauren: Okay.
[00:01:27] Bree: On his stomach.
[00:01:28] Lauren: It's also written very poorly.
[00:01:30] Bree: Yeah, that.
[00:01:30] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:01:32] Lauren: See, I like a tattooed man, but if you have some dumb shit on you and it looks like shit and you have a horrible artist, then I question your intelligence. So, no, thank you.
[00:01:41] Bree: Well, and so it goes on. You know, a lot of people, you know, they have their kids names, which I'm assuming what? Those are tattooed. You know, that's great. Wonderful. Well, then start seeing names of women all over him. I'm like, that's interesting. Well, as you scroll down through his bio, he starts talking about it. Those are the names of all of his, like, exes that he has tattooed on him.
[00:02:01] Lauren: So he carries his exes into every exact.
[00:02:04] Bree: But he doesn't want you to have anything to do with, you know, no.
[00:02:08] Lauren: Thoughts of your exes.
[00:02:09] Bree: Yeah.
[00:02:09] Bree: Coming into the relationship.
[00:02:10] Lauren: But every time you see him with his shirt off, you get to look at three other women's names. My question is, which woman was first and was the other two okay with this?
[00:02:18] Bree: I'm gonna say it was one of those two because those look the oldest, but I have no idea. So that's. It's a shit show, as usual.
Yours?
[00:02:27] Lauren: Well, so I just tried to play a game for you, and. And it was picking Breeze dating. Like, we were on Tinder and I was Picking for Bre. Because I am currently off all the apps because dick is still all over them and it pisses me off. And I just. I don't want to deal with it.
[00:02:42] Bree: When I'm on there for shits and giggles because at this point, it's pure entertainment.
[00:02:45] Lauren Yeah, it's trash. And I was like, going through it for you. I was like, man, nope, still trash. Still trash. Like, I haven't looked on it in since April. And I was like, nope, still trash.
I think I found two total that I swiped right on for you.
[00:02:59] Bree: Yeah.
[00:02:59] Lauren: Everybody else is just like, they either look like they were just out of prison or were in prison.
[00:03:06] Bree: I've had three so far that are in prison, out of state.
[00:03:09] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:03:09] Lauren: Yeah, it's. It's wild. And then the amount of people out of state, they're like, yo, I'm 500 miles away. But I really like you. No, the. You don't go home to your wife.
Like, I'm over it. Like, it's just. It's just pure, pure trash. So that was. That was our adventure.
[00:03:25] Bree: But you came across a specific one, didn't you?
[00:03:28] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:03:29] Lauren: Which one? There were a lot.
[00:03:30] Bree: The specific one.
[00:03:32] Lauren: Oh, yeah. Yeah. So this person literally just had a photo of. From their, like, belly button down in their boxers and that's it. And sir, with things, your bulge was not that big.
I'm like, well, you. You're thinking that that's impressive and you know it's not.
So you should probably work on that.
[00:03:58] Lauren: Yeah, it's a. It's a dumpster fire, as per usual. So.
[00:04:04] Bree: Yes.
[00:04:04] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:04:04] Lauren: So today we have Angie with us.
[00:04:06] Angie: Hi.
[00:04:07] Lauren: Hi, Angie.
[00:04:08] Angie: Hi, guys.
[00:04:09] Lauren: And she's going to tell us her story about Robert.
[00:04:11] Angie: Yes. Oh, Robert.
[00:04:13] Bree: Let's go.
[00:04:14] Angie: Robert. Robert Lord.
So, little backstory. I was married before me and my ex husband. We divorced probably once. My daughter was about three.
Nothing bad happened or anything. We just fell in love at a young age. Kind of what we only knew was each other. Started fighting.
Wasn't great for our daughter.
Hey. Yeah, we need to. We need to move on and stuff. We co parent really well.
[00:04:44] Lauren: That's great. And that's good for the kids.
[00:04:45] Angie: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, she's. She does it. No, no different. Besides mommy and daddy. Yeah. Live separate houses.
[00:04:52] Bree: That's awesome.
[00:04:52] Angie: So took that time after we divorced because, like I said, I was with this man since I was 15, so all the way up until I was 27 when I had ha. Oh, wow. So, yeah, like, gotcha. So we were together for a long Long time. Yeah.
Decided to take time, figure out who I was. Cuz I didn't know who I was. Yeah.
[00:05:17] Bree: Especially not at that young age. That's how I was in my 20s when I got married.
[00:05:20] Angie: Did not know.
Trying to figure out what I want and stuff. Started to go into the world of Facebook dating.
[00:05:28] Bree: I have met two of my husbands on Facebook dating and which I am divorced.
[00:05:34] Lauren: I'm trying no more Facebook dating, no more husbands.
[00:05:37] Angie: But anyway, go ahead with you, girl. I'm with you.
So there is where I met Robert.
Me and Robert actually had a lot in common.
Come to find out later on. Most of all that was a lie. But whatever. Had a lot in common. We started talking. We didn't go on a date right away, anything like that. We just kind of got to know each other. Did it the correct way. Hey, let's meet here. He was great first date. He paid for things. Like it, it went good. Then we conversated and we started having conversation. You know, like you have that conversation with somebody that you can just talk to. Yeah. And that's what it turned into. Did that. Went on a couple of dates.
Started feeling comfortable with him probably like a week or two later. Then decided, hey, let's try to stay the night and see how it goes. So we did that. Went to work. Wouldn't be able to go over there until after I got off work. Went to work, went over there. He's already halfway gone of drinking all day. Yeah.
I was like, all right, you know what? You're an adult, you're home, you do you whatever. As the night progressed on, I had to be at work the next day. So I was not going to drink anything like that. So as the night progressed on, I'm sitting on his island, he has chairs and I'm sitting there and he's over the island on the other side and we're talking.
And he was like, I figured it out. I figured out what I'm going to do with you. I was like, okay, what are you going to do?
[00:07:05] Lauren: What are you going to do with.
[00:07:07] Angie: Hold on.
Start tucking away and running. And he was like, I'm gonna get you pregnant.
[00:07:15] Lauren: I'm sorry. If a guy said that to me, I'm. I'm pretty sure I slap him across face.
[00:07:20] Angie: So I am very, I'm very open and honest. When, when I was in the dating world and stuff like that, I found out after I had Hayden, I started having complications and stuff.
Ended up having to have a tubal and an ablation. Can't have Kids anymore.
[00:07:36] Bree: Anymore.
[00:07:36] Angie: So I've always. When I tried to talk to someone or date someone, I always wanted to date someone with a kid because nine times out of 10, they had kids they didn't want anymore. Yeah.
[00:07:44] Bree: Like, they're good.
[00:07:45] Angie: They were fine. So when we started talking, I was very honest with him and told him, hey, if you want a child, I ain't the one for you. Yeah, move on.
So he knew that. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, well, can't have a kid. Yeah.
[00:08:01] Lauren: So be a little hard.
[00:08:03] Angie: Um, and he was like, oh, no, we're gonna go see doctors and we're gonna make this.
This happen. So he always also, too. Another. Another red flag in this. And I. I miss many, many red flags. Learned my lesson.
He was very quick to flaunt how much money and stuff. Like, he showed me his bank account very quick. Like, very. So he was like, we're gonna go see doctors. And I'm like, okay. And he was like, but I just need you to know I'm so in love with you. And I'm like, dude, it's been a week.
[00:08:37] Lauren: Are we sure? Are we like, do we know.
[00:08:40] Angie: Which one are we talking about?
[00:08:41] Lauren: Mine are yours, not mine.
[00:08:42] Angie: Okay.
No, I promise. I. I know who yours is, but, yes, okay, I do know.
[00:08:48] Lauren: Were you one of his too?
[00:08:49] Angie: I was not. But he. He. Do you like it? He tried. He tried.
[00:08:54] Lauren: When did he try? While we were married or after.
[00:08:56] Angie: Wow.
[00:08:56] Bree: I'm gonna say wow.
[00:08:58] Angie: I want to say it was probably wow.
Wow. Yeah.
[00:09:01] Lauren: Between 2021 and January 2025.
[00:09:04] Angie: Yeah, that was together. That was probably because it wasn't too long after Robert that he. But nothing. Welcome to the club.
Yes.
[00:09:14] Lauren: We got another one.
[00:09:15] Angie: Stickers and T shirts, guys.
But.
But no, nothing ever occurred out of that. I was like, yeah, I'm good, thanks. Yeah. And. And y' all will understand the reasoning after I tell the story of why.
[00:09:29] Lauren: I was like, you learned from the other one.
[00:09:31] Angie: I was. I was out of. Of men at that point in time. So he was like, I am so in love with you. And I'm like, okay, let's.
Let's go take you to bed. Yeah, let's go put you to sleep. So I get him in his room, he goes to sleep, and I'm like, so I'm not staying.
I'm leaving.
[00:09:51] Bree: Yeah.
[00:09:52] Angie: And so. So I leave. I go home. Next day rolls around, I'm at work, and he texts me like, 12 o' clock in the afternoon.
And he was like, hey, you must have left really early this morning. Oh, Jesus.
[00:10:06] Lauren: They didn't even know when you left?
[00:10:08] Angie: Didn't even. And I was like, well, I did have to be at work early in the morning, but I did not stay the night. And he was like, why?
And I was like, well, this is what happened. And I told him. And he was like, oh, well, what's wrong with that?
[00:10:24] Lauren: So now he's sober and still doesn't.
[00:10:25] Angie: Think there's something wrong with it. Something wrong with it. And I was like, okay.
We kind of part after that a little bit. When me and my husband divorced, one of my friends and her son moved in with me at the. At my house that I was at. So we were in the middle of kind of re. Venerating everything around. Around the house and stuff. So I was kind of in the middle of all that while all this was going on.
And so, like, out of the blue, he texted me and he was like, so are we doing this or not?
He was like, I have other options. And I need to know.
I'm telling you, if there was a picture of a gaslighter and a narcissist between Dick and him, they would probably be side by side with.
[00:11:08] Lauren: Maybe they should date each other.
[00:11:09] Angie: They probably should.
[00:11:10] Bree: It's a good idea.
[00:11:11] Angie: They probably should.
[00:11:12] Lauren: We should send. Should send them to each other.
[00:11:14] Angie: They probably should. And I was like. And legit.
I'm. I'm very blunt with my responses. Yeah, and you have to be. And I was like, not.
And left it at that. Fell off. We quit talking. Then out of the blue, nowhere. A couple weeks later, I start school to advance my licensure and stuff. Out of the blue, he texts me, and he was like, hey, I rather you have you in my life as a friend than nothing at all. I feel like we connected better as friends and stuff. And I'm like, you know what? We'll give it a shot. We'll give it a shot again.
[00:11:49] Lauren: We're about to learn right here, Bree, that we can't be friends with men.
[00:11:52] Bree: I get asked the same thing. Can we just be friends?
[00:11:54] Angie: No.
[00:11:55] Lauren: No, you cannot be friends with them.
[00:11:58] Angie: Learn this. Learn this. So it starts going great. We hang out and things of that sort of. I was at school one day, and he texted me, and he was like, hey, when you go on lunch for school, call me. So I call him, and he was like, what are you doing? And I was like, going on lunch for school, trying to figure out who I can get to lay my flooring down without it costing Me an arm, leg. So I've been trying to deal with that and stuff. And he was like, oh, you know, I used to do that. I have people who can, who can do that. When I come over after you get out of school and we'll look at it. And I'm like, great, cool. Yeah. And he was like, oh, by the way, I also got you something.
[00:12:35] Bree: Oh, God.
[00:12:36] Angie: And I was like, okay, this could.
[00:12:39] Bree: Go so many ways.
[00:12:41] Angie: So fast forward, go home. He meets me there and he hands me this jewelry box.
And no, it was not an engagement.
[00:12:52] Bree: So she could feel us staring at.
[00:12:54] Angie: Her right now like, what?
But there are these like, big, square, gaudy gold earrings. Diamonds.
Huge. Took up half my ear and stuff. And he made sure to tell me they cost him thousands. Yeah. And I'm like, well, number one, why are you giving me these?
[00:13:13] Lauren: Number two, pay a bill.
[00:13:15] Angie: So bear. Yes. So let me rewind a little bit.
He is not working during this whole time. I don't know where his money's coming from.
He said he got it from like family fortune, things of that sort. And I'm like, drugs kind of car did he drive?
I've question truck. Just a regular Dodge truck.
[00:13:34] Bree: It didn't come from family.
[00:13:36] Angie: Yeah. Later on, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll get there. So the crew comes and they're looking at my floor and they're like, oh, yeah, we can do this in a day. And I'm like, cool. How much? No one would ever tell me how much anything like that.
So by the time it's all said and done and ended, I'm like, finally, I'm like, can someone tell me, like, what, what is this going to cost me?
And the guy that was doing the flooring was like, oh, he took care of it. Don't worry about it.
[00:14:03] Lauren: I mean, that's better than some diamonds take care of that floor.
[00:14:05] Angie: I mean, I'm, I'm with it. But ladies, he was buying his way in. He. He was, he was buying his way in. And then he loved to hang it over your head.
Yep. Anytime we got into it, any fight, it was always hanged over my head about it.
[00:14:20] Bree: Oh, I paid for your floors. I can scream and holler.
[00:14:22] Angie: Yes, legit. So going on, we're doing great. He starts wanting to get into tick tock and tick tock lives and battling and stuff. And this is back when you had to have so many followers to be able to go live and battle and stuff. Right. By that time, we started noticing more of a spiral drinking Started getting more like. He would drink from 5 o' clock in the afternoon to 5, 6, 7, 8 o' clock in the morning. And he had a son that was in middle school that was in between him and his mom. And his son's been through a lot between the both of them and stuff. Yeah, I ended up meeting his son, he ended up meeting Hayden. And just as. As friends, and we all grew pretty attached to one another. And so him spiraling out of control, ended up meeting my best friend Mandy, because of him. So thank God. Thank God for her. Yeah, I ended up meeting her, and she has been. She's been my godsend through all this. So we're watching him spiral out of control.
Literally, I am having to go over there and pick him up off the floor, put him in bed, take care of his kid. Like, it gets. It gets bad. So he ends up meeting this girl on TikTok. And when he calls me, anytime he met a girl or anything like that, so bear in mind, we're not dating, we're just friends.
He would call me and tell me all these things about. About these girls, and I'm like, good on you.
Have fun. And now, looking back, he did it to see if I would react. So he meets this girl, he's telling me about her, calls me and was like, hey, what are you doing? And I'm like, sitting at home. And he was like, why don't you come over? Let's have a you and me day hang out. I feel like we haven't really got to do that. I was like, all right, cool. So get there. The entire time, his phone is just going off, going off, going off, going off. And it's her. And I'm like, does she know that I'm. That I'm here? I'm a girl's girl. Yeah. Like, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not going to tread on that. And you know. And he was like, yeah, she knows. Well, he answers a phone call, and she was like, who's there? She didn't. And he's like, nobody. And I'm like, staring at him like, are you serious?
And he's like, oh, that's just my best friend Angie. Like, she's. She's my ride or die and stuff. And I'm like, I. Right. He gets off the phone with her, and I'm thinking we're just chilling, hanging out, talking. Then all of a sudden, his FaceTime thing starts going off. So she knows I'm there. So let's. Let's Remember that? She knows I'm there now. She's fine with it. And then all of a sudden, he answers it, and I start hearing some inappropriate noises.
And I don't know what possessed him to think.
Then he turns the phone to me and she's doing inappropriate things. And I literally just looked at him. Because he knew. Because she texted him and said this is what she was doing. So he knew.
[00:17:16] Bree: God.
[00:17:17] Angie: And she knew I was there.
[00:17:18] Lauren: Was she trying to add you to the group?
[00:17:20] Angie: I. I don't know. I. I don't. He made. He made a comment after. It was all because I grabbed my stuff and I was like, I'm out. Yeah, we're done. Yeah, I'm out. Like, that's. That's crossing that line for me. I. After all that, he gets off the phone with her and then just starts calling me. Everything but a Christian woman sliding me, telling me I'm a shitty friend.
That you're a shitty friend for not.
[00:17:42] Lauren: Watching my girlfriend masturbate.
[00:17:43] Angie: Yes, I'm a shitty friend. How dare I tell him he can't be on his phone in his own house? And I'm like, what's going on here? And he was like. And you know you would have joined or liked it. And I'm like.
And that's my cue to leave. So we quit talking for a while. And again we're watching him on TikTok Live, me and Mandy, and he's just spiraling even worse. A week later, him and old girl break up. And it makes me.
[00:18:07] Lauren: I'm so shocked.
[00:18:08] Bree: Imagine that.
[00:18:09] Lauren: I'm so shocked that that didn't last.
[00:18:11] Angie: And we just watch him literally spiral out of control. And Mandy, being my sweet and savage friend that she is, she has known Robert for most of her high school career. So she's. She's grown up with him.
[00:18:25] Bree: Yeah.
[00:18:25] Angie: And she was like, this is killing me watching him like this.
And she was like, what can we do? And I came up with a Breeght idea of, hey, why don't I come pick you up? We'll go grab dinner, we'll take it to him and we'll surprise him. Maybe that will cheer him up. So we go and do all that. And he was on Tick Tock during this whole time. And Mandy even looked at me and she was like, he on Tik Tok, and he's been drinking. And I'm like, great. It's going to be a long night, guys.
So we get there, I go in his house, I go into his room. He's getting off Tik tok And he rounds the corner, and he sees Mandy, and he is ecstatic to see her. And he was like. He was also very much in love with her, too. But Mandy kind of like me. We're. We're nothing. We're going to be friends. I want to see you thrive in life. All the good things.
So we get there, everything's going great. We're hanging out, we're talking and stuff. And then he switches to trying to, like, make out with her and, like, grab her face, and she's like, dude, no. Get off. Get off of me. Like, stop. Yeah. Not. You know.
[00:19:28] Bree: Yeah.
[00:19:28] Angie: And he was like, well, let me show y' all something in here. And so we go with him to the room, and Mandy's like, come here, Angie. Look. Follow me.
Don't leave me. Help. Help.
And so I go in there, and I'm standing there, and he's trying to get her on the bed. And I'm like, you know what, guys? Why don't we go back out in the living room? I feel like it's open and safer here. So we go out there and we sit down. Then all of a sudden, he flips, and he was like, f y'. All. F all this. And goes to his room. And I'm looking at Mandy. Mandy's looking at me, and I'm like, I'll go. So I go. And I'm trying to talk to him, going, like, what. What is your problem, dude? Like, we're doing this for you, to make you feel better. What's going on? And he ends up, like, grabbing my hands, like, holding my hands out in front of me, and he's holding on to them, and he's, like, looking me dead in my eyes. Well, somewhat. He's a lot taller than I am. And he was like, your eyes. Your eyes just possess me.
Why can't you be with me? Why can't you fall in love with me? And I'm like, you're literally trying to make out.
[00:20:28] Bree: Yeah.
[00:20:29] Angie: And we're really going to have this conversation, right? And he was like, just be with me. And I'm like, you know why we can't be together. You. You know why? So he again starts yelling, and here comes Mandy around the corner, back up.
And finally he's like, you're a shitty ass person. You're a shitty ass friend. Get the out of my house.
You. All the things.
[00:20:54] Lauren: You're a shitty friend because you won't be in love with me.
[00:20:56] Angie: Right? Wow. And I'm like, I'm shitty. I'm Shitty dude. Who picked you up off this floor?
Who. Who got you in bed? Who took care of your kid when you couldn't? Right? But I'm shitty. Yeah, Q, I'm out. Yeah. So we leave. So this is where the night that changed changed my life. Couple of weeks come by after that. Hadn't talked to him. Didn't really have very much to say to him after that. He remembered that night with Mandy that my headlight was out in my car.
And he told me, he was like, oh, if you go get a headlight, I'll change it for you.
[00:21:30] Bree: Right?
[00:21:30] Angie: So. So he texted me out of the blue and was like, hey, I feel like we really need to talk.
We need to talk about what happened. I'm sorry, but I want to have a face to face conversation with you. And he was like, oh, by the way, I got that headlight for your car, if you will come over and I'll change it. And I was like, well, I'm at work. Depends on how my work day goes. I will decide if I come.
So throughout the day, he's progressively asking me, are you coming? Are you coming? Are you coming? I ended up having a. Me and my partner on. On a truck. I work for an ambulance company. So me and my partner on the truck, we had a really, really shitty shift. We lost a kid. Like, it was.
It was. I was drained. I was done. I literally wanted to go home, talk to my kid, hug your kid, hug my kid, you know, but at the time, my kid was with her grandparents, so I just literally just wanted to hear her voice. Yeah. And stuff. And I told him, I was like, I'm not coming. I had a shitty day. And he was like, no, come. You would feel better if you come. You can talk to me. And I was like, really need to change this headlight.
All right.
So I go and I told him, I said, I'm literally coming for you to change my headlight. And I'm leaving. I got to work tomorrow. I'm done. I'm.
[00:22:43] Lauren: I need to decompress from what happened today.
[00:22:45] Angie: Yeah. And so I get there and I'm sitting outside and it's. I remember this. This was in, like, January. So it's cold outside, and we're sitting out there, and he's changing my headlight and he's talking to me. He's asking me, like, what happened?
And stuff. And I'm just kind of decompressing from it and venting to him about it. And he was like, oh, well, about that time, he starts pulling Out a big thing of Fireball.
Big old bottle of Fireball. And he was like, you need to take a shot. And I'm like, no, no, I don't.
[00:23:15] Lauren: Are we in our early 20s? Like, what. Is he in his early 20s? Like, what is this?
[00:23:20] Angie: Like. Like late 20s, maybe early 30s? About this time?
[00:23:23] Lauren: Yeah, Like, I got over Fireball a lot earlier.
[00:23:27] Angie: It was. And he was like, you need a shot? And I'm like, no. No, I don't. No, I don't. Don't need a shot. We go inside and we're sitting there still talking and stuff, and he's finally like, I'm telling you, you would feel better if you drink. You would feel better if you drink. You feel better if you're drinking. Just to get him to shut up, I grabbed the bottle. Me being who I am, I'm like, I'm not drinking because I know it's not going to help me. I've been doing this a long time. I know this is not going to help me. Yeah, I turn it up, but I keep my mouth closed. But at the time, he's so drunk.
[00:23:52] Bree: He thought you were drunk.
[00:23:53] Angie: He doesn't even. He can't even tell. Finally, he was like, hey, why don't you just stay here? Stay the night. You don't need to be alone. The girl that was living with me at the time, she wasn't home. And he was like, you don't need to be alone. I'm kind of afraid for you to be alone with everything that happened. Why don't you stay? And I was like, well, I don't have another uniform. And he was like, well, go change into something I have, and I'll wash your uniform for you. And I was like, you know what? Fine, we'll do that. I'm ready for bed. Can we go to bed?
And so I'm sitting on the counter of his island, and we're sitting there talking. Then just out of nowhere, he comes up as I'm sitting there and puts one hand on each side of me and leans in. And he was like, tell me you love me. And I was like, I don't. I love you as a friend, but not in that way.
[00:24:37] Bree: Nothing more.
[00:24:38] Angie: And he was like, why? Why can't we be together? And I was so done by this day, by the question and him constantly, always asking me. And finally I was like, I will tell you why. I will tell you why. You're a drunk, narcissistic asshole. Dealing. I'm not dealing with that. I'm not Breenging My child into that. I'm not. Not dealing. And. And anytime you get mad, it's a screaming match. It's get. Get out. I'm not putting my child through that. More than anything.
Apparently he didn't like that. And he grabs me by the back of my head and slams me off the counter onto the floor. And he gets on top of me. He's like, holding me down, and he's like, you're gonna tell me you love me by the time we're done with this. And I was like, get off me, dude. Like, get off.
He leans down and he bites me right here on my cheek. Like, bit bites me on my cheek. And I'm, like, trying to get him off. I'm, like, swinging on him and stuff. Finally, he gets me up by my neck and slams me against the wall. And he's, like, holding me, and he's like, now tell me you love me. And I just. Again, the person I am, I smile at him and I say, fuck no. And by that time, he grabs me and he throws me against his refrigerator. Yeah, the stainless steel refrigerator. He threw me so hard. After all this was done, a couple of weeks later, a girl went over there and she told me about this, and she saw the. The dent it made. She was like, you know he's got a dent in his fridge. And I was like, huh? Yeah, I know. So by this time of all this going on, my nose is bleeding, my head's pounding, my lips bleeding, all this stuff. And I'm, like, trying to scurry. By the time he throws me against it, he goes to grab a hold of my leg, and I kick him and make him stumble backwards. And I'm, like, scurrying trying to get up. And by that time, he grabs a hold of my leg and slaps me back. And then he drags me to the bedroom. Remember him throwing me on the bed? And I'm, like, scrambling, trying to move and get off and trying to find something at this point.
And he gets me in a chokehold. When he places me in that chokehold, everything starts going dark. And the only thing that runs through my mind at that time is I didn't get to tell my daughter that I loved her. Yeah, like, this. This could be.
[00:26:54] Lauren: This could be it.
[00:26:55] Angie: This could be it. And that's the biggest regret I had is is not calling her and telling her that. And then my back thought telling me that you have to survive for her. I wake up the morning to my alarm going off because I have to work.
And I Almost forgot where I was.
Yeah, I honestly thought it was a dream. And I woke up, and I turned and look over, and there he is, sound asleep. And I'm sitting up because everything's fuzzy and hazy. Everything hurts. I feel like I got hit by a freight train.
And I realize I'm not wearing any clothes. And I look over and there are my work clothes folded up on their dresser.
[00:27:38] Lauren: So he washed your clothes?
[00:27:40] Angie: Yeah, he washed and folded. Folded my clothes and left them as.
[00:27:42] Lauren: Like, a fucking apology, like.
[00:27:45] Angie: And I get up, and my. My thought process in all this was, get. Get out. Without waking him up, I go to the bathroom. I didn't even turn on the light or anything. I'm literally just getting dressed in the dark. Keys, grab my phone, and I'm like, all right. And I start walking towards the door, and I'm looking over, and he's sound asleep.
When I go and turn the knob to open the bedroom door, I feel someone grab me.
And I froze. And he was like, are you going somewhere? And I'm like, yeah, I got. I gotta go to work. And I'm, like, trying to keep everything in.
[00:28:23] Bree: Like, nothing.
[00:28:23] Angie: Nothing's wrong. Nothing happened, you know, you don't want.
[00:28:26] Bree: To set him off again.
[00:28:27] Angie: And he was like, oh. And like, this time he's, like, kissing my neck and stuff, and I'm just, like, shuddering and.
And all this. And he was like, oh, okay. Well, have a good day. I love you.
And he lets me go, and I leave. And he has a ring camera up front. And I'm telling myself, don't sit in the car. Don't start crying, because he's probably watching.
[00:28:47] Lauren: Yeah, yeah.
[00:28:48] Angie: Back out of the driveway. Start going down his road, make it to the end of the road. Got out, stopped my car, got out and just threw up.
And I'm on my way to work. Like, I don't think about calling out of work again. I still don't know what I look like at this point in time. And I go in, and I finally get into the parking lot of work, and I look in the little small mirror, and I see I have a bite mark here.
I see my lip is a little busted. My nose has dry blood all over it. And I'm like, great, great. How are you gonna make this.
This work here? And I had makeup in my car, so I'm covering. Makeup, everything.
I have my hoodie on. And I walk in, and my partner at the time, God bless her, my. My partner at the time walks in, and she looks at me, and she goes Rough night. And I'm looking at her, I'm like, what are you. What are you talking about? And she goes, your neck. You have a bite mark on your neck. And I was like, huh? Oh, you know, you know how it can be, you know?
So we get a call, drop the patient off at the hospital. I go into the hospital bathroom and I take off my hoodie.
And I realized the bite mark I have on my neck, the strangle mark I have. And that's about all I can. I can see at this point in time. And I'm like, golly. So I kept my hoodie on all day.
I bear in mind, this whole entire time he's like texting me, what are you doing? You want to come over? Da da? Like, yeah, of course I want to come over. And I'm literally ignoring everything. And he has this thing, like, to this day, this is words, a trigger word. If you ignored him and couldn't respond to him in a certain amount of time, he would be like, got it, got. And that was literally. And I go home, or actually I go and get my kid, because that's literally all I'm thinking about is getting my child. Yeah, I go and get her and I've held it in to this point, and I literally.
She comes running to me, God bless her, comes running to me and was like, mommy, I missed you so much. And like jumps in my arms and I'm like breaking down. And I do, and I start crying with her. And she was like, mommy, what's, what's wrong? And I'm like, oh, mommy had a hard day at work. You know, Mommy's just sad and she's like, it's okay. And she's like, we're trying to wipe my tears and stuff. And I tell her, and I was like, what do you want to do for dinner? And she was like, let's go get pizza and lay in bed and watch movies. And I'm like, girl, done, let's do this. And she knows anytime I come home from work before I'll touch her. Touch anything. The first thing I do is I strip off my uniform and I go get in the shower. Yeah, I.
[00:31:32] Lauren: You touch things at work.
[00:31:33] Angie: Yeah. And I didn't want to do that, cuz.
[00:31:38] Lauren: You didn't want her to see.
[00:31:38] Angie: I didn't want her to see. Yeah. So I'm laying in bed with her, she's watching movie, and she looks at me and she goes, mommy, you're still in your uniform. And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, Mommy, I'll get a shower in a little bit. Mommy just kind of needs to relax. And so by the time she goes to sleep, I go and I get in the shower, and my shower is in. In my room. I get in the shower and I get out and I'm. I remember, like, sitting there with the curtain still closed, going, okay, no matter what you see, we're going to be fine. And. And I open the curtain and I look in the mirror and I see all the damage that is done. Bruises everywhere, scratch marks everywhere. Like, all the things. And I literally just start sobbing. Yeah.
Because I. To me, I'm not this person. Like, this is not supposed to happen to. To me. Yeah, I know I'm going to get a lot of questions. Of course, I ended up not talking to him or anything after that and started to trying to heal on my own. And I'm sure if anyone else is going through this, it. You can't. You can't come back and heal from that on your own.
And I remember calling Mandy, and Mandy was like, what? What's wrong? Like, what's going on? And this was like two weeks later after this. And I was like, I need to talk to you because it's eaten me alive. I start going into a depression.
I became suicidal.
Even thought, like, it messed me up so bad. I even thought about giving my child up because she deserves so much more.
Like, it messed me up so bad. And I called Mandy, went and picked her up, and we sat there and talked and I let it all out. And I told her what all happened and the blessing that she is. She never once told me what I needed to do. It was, what. What do you want to do?
And I was like, I just want to heal and move on. And she was like, okay, well, let's start healing and start moving on. That. That night when I. When I saw everything, I actually took pictures because Robert was the type of person, if you try to go after him, he was going to make your life ten times more.
And he would always brag about how he did that to his ex wife. So I was very, very not only scared of that. I knew his son had also been through a lot, and he absolutely loved his dad and didn't want anything to do with his mom. And I'm like, I would literally be taken away.
[00:34:12] Lauren: Yeah. But is that dad the person he.
[00:34:14] Angie: Needs to learn from and, you know, and now looking back on it and stuff? No, absolutely not. And.
[00:34:19] Lauren: Cause that was a good question I was going to ask because I know that some people are going to be thinking. Right. And because you are in the field that you're in.
Did you get a rape kit done?
[00:34:27] Angie: I did not.
[00:34:28] Lauren: Is there a reason or were you just so, like. Because I know I've talked to other rape victims and it's one of those things where you're just like, you're so out of it, you want to feel clean. So a lot of people immediately shower because they just want to be clean and they want to forget and they just want to move on. And those are like the first things. And then a lot of times after the fact, they're like, I should have done.
[00:34:47] Angie: Absolutely. Absolutely.
I felt ashamed.
I felt disgusted. I felt like almost kind of like maybe if I wouldn't have went over there, this wouldn't have happened to me.
[00:35:00] Lauren: Yeah, you're blaming yourself.
[00:35:02] Angie: I blamed myself, yeah. And.
[00:35:05] Lauren: And sadly, I think that's normal for a lot of rape victims. They blame themselves and a lot of times because they feel like they won't be believed anyway. Well, you went there.
Well, so if you went there, then you knew what he. You knew what was going to happen.
[00:35:15] Angie: He was also very high, high and mighty. He knew a lot of people and, and all the, all the, all the things, you know, and it's just. That was probably one of my biggest regrets for not because, like I said, I have the proof. I still have the proof on my phone. Three years later, I saw the proof on my phone.
[00:35:33] Lauren: So my call up, follow up question is. So we didn't press charges?
[00:35:35] Angie: No. Okay. Yeah. I kind of.
We. I ended up blocking him. I ended up. I did get him to admit it, and I still have that text too. Good.
[00:35:44] Lauren: Keep it.
[00:35:45] Angie: I just did end up getting him to admit it, and he was like, you're always trying to play the victim.
[00:35:50] Lauren: And literally are the victim.
[00:35:52] Angie: Yeah, always the victim. You're the shittiest person. And I'm like, that's it. It took me even to this day.
Granted, I've healed. I've done therapy.
[00:36:03] Lauren: Did you do edmr?
[00:36:05] Angie: Okay, I did.
[00:36:07] Lauren: We talk about that. EDMR is a good thing for people to do.
[00:36:10] Angie: I did that. Mandy, like I said, Mandy has been my. She's my therapist. Therapist. Therapist. She's been my rock through. Through it all. And, you know, when it came to talking about doing this, I. I told her and just like, I. I'll tell all y'. All, I'm not looking for. Oh, pitiful me. I'm not looking, you know, for, for this. The point of me wanting to do this was because it doesn't necessarily have to be someone you're dating.
He was literally my best friend, you know, and.
[00:36:40] Bree: Well, and something. Whenever you mention that, and I think a lot of people, I don't want to say that they don't understand it, but it doesn't have to be somebody that you're dating. It could be someone. Even your husband.
There were some things that I had gone through. It was with my first ex husband that nobody would believe, and I know that they wouldn't believe it. But you can still be raped by someone that you're married to.
And I think a lot of people need to know that and understand that, like, just because you're married to them and you say no, it doesn't mean.
[00:37:08] Angie: Yeah.
[00:37:09] Bree: That it's right.
[00:37:09] Angie: Right. Absolutely. He took something from me that night that I will never be able to get back.
I've been through a bunch of stuff, even dating these poor guys that tried. Tried to date me, and I was like, absolutely not. Don't touch me. Don't look at me. Don't, you know, protect my kid and all this stuff. And during all this time, again, Facebook dating, the guy I'm seeing now, he came when I was at my lowest, and he put together and helped rebuild me, and he didn't even break me. And he's three years into this. Here we are.
[00:37:46] Lauren: He put in the work.
[00:37:47] Angie: He did. He put in the work. And he will tell you all day long, I was probably the toughest wall he would ever have to break. He didn't meet my kid for almost a year.
[00:37:58] Lauren: Good for you.
[00:37:58] Angie: Like, he. That's good. Yeah.
[00:38:01] Lauren: Was he patient when it came to the bedroom?
[00:38:02] Angie: Absolutely. Yeah, Absolutely.
[00:38:04] Lauren: That's a. That's a good partner right there. Because I think that's a lot of things that women with sexual assault and rape end up struggling with is the bedroom and. And rightfully so. And that's normal for anyone that's gone through that.
And your next partner needs to be aware of that and be willing to be patient with you and not force anything on you that you're not ready to do.
[00:38:24] Angie: Yeah. Even. Even talking to him when I told him I was going to do this.
So the reason why I felt I needed to do this podcast, like I said, not. There's only maybe three people that know the story, and that's Mandy, my boyfriend now, and one other person.
The only people who know the full story is just them, too. And I started having.
I believe in, like, visions and everybody trying to tell you something in your dreams and stuff. I started having nightmares about all this going on again, but I didn't make it out. And then that's what kind of brought me into going. I think I'm trying to be told something here, and I feel like this would kind of be the end of this story for me to fully heal and move on. Even though it's been three years, I'm sure.
[00:39:12] Lauren: And, well, and spread awareness, because I think that's one of the most important things is people need to know, especially women, that you're not alone. Rape can happen to anybody, anywhere.
[00:39:21] Angie: Absolutely.
[00:39:22] Lauren: It can be a friend, it can be a stranger, it can be your husband. Like, it can be anybody. And we got to stop putting the stigma with rape and call it what it is.
And it's hard to hold these men accountable because we see on the news all the time that men get away with it. And, you know, law enforcement half the time is like, well, there's nothing really we can do. So, you know, and it's not.
You're a smart person. You work on a. You're an emt.
Like, you're a smart person. So, you know, it's not.
It happens. It can happen to anybody.
So, you know, you're not alone if it has happened to you or it happens, you know, God forbid happens to you in the future. Like, you're not alone. And there is help out there for it.
[00:40:01] Angie: Absolutely. Absolutely. Like I said, if I could take anything back that night, it was not turning him in. I think now that being healed and seeing. And you see men constantly getting away from with things and him.
Him being one of them, I'm sure he's gotten away with plenty of other things. And everyone. He puts that fear. Fear into everybody of going, well, if you. If you try to get me down, I promise you I'm going to end you down. Like. And. And that's what that was it. Anybody he dated or anything, they. He put that fear into them.
[00:40:39] Lauren: Well, if he did it once, he'll do it again, because then that's. That's the thing is they. They don't change. And so chances are they'll do it again. And using intimidation is a whole nother level of abuse on its own and disgusting.
[00:40:51] Angie: Now. Now I'm just like, you know what? If I see him in a parking lot, I'm just gonna keep. Keep walking.
[00:40:58] Lauren: Does. So he's still local to this area.
[00:41:01] Angie: He is local. He is local. As. As far as I know.
[00:41:05] Lauren: You'll have to show us a picture so we don't end up.
[00:41:07] Angie: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I will, definitely, for sure. And like I said, like, even coming on to this, when I was talking to my boyfriend about it now, and he was like, why do you feel. Feel that you need to. To get this out now? And I was like, you know, it's not necessarily to forgive him, because I. I don't. Yeah.
But to forgive myself. And I think talking about it allows me to go, you're. You're great.
[00:41:31] Bree: It's a form of healing.
[00:41:32] Angie: Yeah. Yeah. Like, you've. You've overcome. I am who I am today because of that. Yeah, absolutely.
[00:41:39] Lauren: In spite of that.
And I think that it's a very powerful message to show that you not only survived it, you, like, strived through it. Like, you. You know, you're still have your daughter, you have a successful relationship, you still have a successful career, and a lot of people end up not making it out like that.
[00:41:59] Angie: Yeah.
[00:42:00] Lauren: So that is, you know, a testament to you and your strength, which is amazing. And I'm grateful that you came on to share this with us, because I know it's not easy to talk about something that hard, but I'm glad that you did, because it's something that I think definitely needs to be talked about more. And the stigma that goes with it.
We've got it. The only way to get rid of it is to talk about it.
[00:42:21] Angie: Absolutely.
[00:42:22] Lauren: But we really do appreciate you coming on.
[00:42:23] Angie: No problem. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate y'. All.
[00:42:26] Lauren: Yeah, absolutely. You know, we will see you next week, Bree.
[00:42:30] Bree: See you next week.
