Episode Transcript
00:00:14] Bree: Welcome back to Spill the Tea.
[00:00:15] Lauren: HSV with Lauren and Bree.
This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances or contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 256-801-1000 or visit them online at www.alabamalaw.com. when your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
Hey, Bree.
[00:00:51] Bree: Hey, Lauren.
[00:00:52] Lauren: How are you today?
[00:00:53] Bree: I'm alive.
[00:00:54] Lauren: How are you? I'm.
[00:00:55] Lauren: Oh, I'm same.
[00:00:57] Bree: How's dating going?
[00:00:59] Lauren: I'm not like, I just look at bios because these people are crazy because Dick stole all over them.
[00:01:06] Lauren: Oh, of course.
[00:01:07] Lauren: I had somebody message me and was like, I got on there and Dick was the first one that showed up. So I immediately deleted the app and. And like got off of it because I was like, nope, this is. If this is all this city has to offer, if that's the first face.
[00:01:21] Bree: You see, you are doomed from the get go.
[00:01:23] Lauren: Preach. So I was like, yeah, no thanks. But I did want to tell you about this guy.
So he's 70 years old, but he's on dating. But he wants to match his friends.
[00:01:35] Lauren: Of course. Of course.
[00:01:37] Lauren: At 70. At 70, him and his tensions say that he's a love sick man and he's a homebody. And I can tell because he hasn't worked out probably a day in his life, he loves to be comfortable in his recliner. It's just getting better and better. Loves our recliner after working a stressful job for 40 years.
So basically he's not leaving his recliner. No, I'm more comfortable away from the hustle and bustle. And I'm not looking for long term, just physical touch and love. More like a friend with benefits.
[00:02:11] Bree: At 70.
[00:02:11] Lauren: At 70 years old. Mm.
[00:02:14] Lauren: So, ladies, this just goes to show.
[00:02:16] Bree: That it never stops.
[00:02:17] Lauren: No, it doesn't. He doesn't. He even goes on to say, I don't want any relationship or responsibilities, just purely physical. Sir, are you rich?
[00:02:26] Bree: So there is no cap on friends with benefits? Age wise?
[00:02:29] Lauren: No, there's not. And I guess, you know, it doesn't matter how old they get, they still just want friends with benefits. And I'm like, sir, do you, do you have a lot of money?
Because if you don't, are you going.
[00:02:44] Bree: To put me in your will?
[00:02:45] Lauren: Yeah. Like, what's happening here? Like, I don't know, it's just gross. But how about you so I'm sort.
[00:02:51] Bree: Of in the same boat as you. It's purely for entertainment purposes at this point.
And this one his bio says, which he was not my type from the.
[00:02:59] Lauren: Get go, but I read all their bios just to see what it says.
[00:03:03] Bree: And it says, life is really what you make it to be.
[00:03:05] Lauren: Seriously.
[00:03:06] Bree: So let every step in life count. So by looking at my pictures, you know my situation.
So if you impatient don't like me, swipe X. And with that said, I'm not looking to waste no time, yours or mine to up in age for that. I'm a go with the flow type of guy. And if the chemistry, their sky is the limit.
[00:03:28] Lauren: You know what, he's not the type of guy.
Vocabulary, it gets better. Oh God.
He's in prison.
You know my situation. And he's in prison.
[00:03:42] Bree: And it took me a minute because I was like, what is he married? Like, what situation is it? So I scroll down, I'm like, why has he got a white T shirt on and everything?
Homeboy's incarcerated.
[00:03:52] Lauren: Sure is.
[00:03:53] Bree: And I don't know the meaning of the hat.
[00:03:54] Lauren: He just really wants you to know he likes a pimp up.
[00:03:57] Bree: That's disgusting.
[00:03:58] Lauren: Maybe that's why he's in prison. Maybe he's a pimp.
[00:04:00] Bree: Well, it says he's a truck driver. My first thought was trafficking.
[00:04:03] Lauren: Yeah, so he's a pimp. Yeah, so, yeah, probably, but winning, Winning, no, no. These are our options.
[00:04:15] Bree: It ain't my option.
[00:04:16] Lauren: And we wonder, we wonder why we're single.
[00:04:18] Bree: I'll be a lonely old dog woman for the rest of my life.
[00:04:21] Lauren: I won't even be lonely.
We got each other.
[00:04:24] Bree: Well, not lonely, but you know, I'll just be by myself with the dogs.
[00:04:27] Lauren: Yeah, because that would be better than being absolutely in prisoner with a 70 year old man with tens watching my.
[00:04:33] Bree: Back 24 7, praying to God I don't get shipped off somewhere.
[00:04:38] Lauren: He's gonna put you in the back of the truck.
Watch out.
All right, so today we have Anna with us to tell us a little bit about her story.
And with that, we will let Anna take it on.
[00:04:53] Anna: Okay, so I was with my former partner chad for over 20 years and we had ups and downs. Like any marriage would, marriages work.
I started noticing things were getting weird in the winter of 2022. He was drinking to excess, staying out late, like drinking to blackout.
I remember mentioning it to one of my friends. But at the same time I was losing a parent and I was traveling to visit that parent and stay bedside with Them almost every weekend. So I think it was about the springtime we went to a concert that I'd really been looking forward to. Like, I was just like living for this show.
And he got so blackout drunk at the show and kept disappearing and he was on his own constantly, just constantly. And he was like, oh, it's with my co worker. And we're talking about this, you know, the situation at work.
[00:05:56] Bree: The work wife.
[00:05:57] Lauren: Yeah, the work. It's my work wife or it's a co worker friend.
[00:06:02] Anna: He was saying it was. And he was like being really guarded of his phone and got real belligerent with me and I kind of didn't know what to do. My friends who were with me didn't know what to do and I didn't really have a lot of time to wrap my head around it because I had this dying parent.
[00:06:18] Lauren: Yeah, that's. And that's Dutch trauma. You're going through trauma.
[00:06:21] Anna: Later in the month, he. I had just come home from a visit with my parent and I think it was. I got back on a Friday morning and I worked.
I worked all day, eight hours.
And I called him, you know, like, hey, what do you want to do for dinner, etc. Etc.
Husband wife things. And he was like, actually, I'm going to hang out with my co workers, this girl, this girl and this guy and have parking lot beers.
Okay, Which.
Who drinks beer in the parking lot of their work?
[00:06:54] Lauren: Somebody who's cheating.
[00:06:56] Anna: Right.
[00:06:57] Bree: Or high schoolers.
[00:06:57] Anna: So he was like, do you want to come? And I was like, no, I just want you to be with me.
No, no, I'm going. Parking lot beers. You can come if you want.
[00:07:09] Lauren: You could come do this instead of mourning or dealing.
[00:07:12] Anna: So of course I went home and I was just like, you know, what the fuck? Yeah, he comes home about 11:30, 12, drunk, screaming at me for like no reason, throwing things. And I was like, the hell?
Then he threatens to kill my cat or kill our cat.
[00:07:35] Lauren: Excuse me.
[00:07:36] Anna: Yeah, so I take my cat, take her to my friend's house and. And take a credit card I had that he didn't know about and went and got a hotel room.
[00:07:46] Lauren: See, ladies, and this is why you always have something to that that your spouse does not know about to protect yourself. Because you never know.
[00:07:54] Anna: Because even though I was nursing my parent, something in me was screaming like, something in me was screaming like, always trust your gut, ladies. It's never wrong. It's never wrong. It's never wrong. I mean, even when you have a million things going on work, school, family, kids. Your gut is never wrong.
So I had this credit card he didn't know about. So I check into a hotel and, you know, he calls me at like 3am sobbing. And I'm so sorry. I don't even know what happened. And I was like, you know, I'll just, I'll talk to you tomorrow or the next day because I got the hotel for the whole weekend. He was just picking fights with me.
[00:08:32] Lauren: Picking fights when he's sober and drunk or just when he's drunk?
[00:08:35] Anna: When he was. He was always drunk.
[00:08:37] Lauren: Okay. Yes, always at this point has a major drinking problem.
[00:08:40] Anna: Actually. He acted such a fool at the concert, back to the concert that on the way home I was like, I want a fucking divorce. Like, I, I can't deal with your drinking and all of this. This is crazy. I have.
[00:08:53] Bree: Did he always drink?
[00:08:54] Anna: Yes.
[00:08:54] Bree: So the whole time that you knew him, he drank?
[00:08:56] Anna: Yeah. But never to, to that extent? No. Like this was like full blown alcoholism.
I mean, it went from like, you know, partying a little bit on the weekend, like drinking a six pack to I don't even know how much he was drinking. Yeah. So I told him I wanted divorce and I think I more wanted to scare him straight than anything.
I wanted him to go to marriage counseling.
We'd gone to one session and he refused to go back. He's like, all you did was rip on me. And I was like, all I did was tell the truth.
[00:09:28] Lauren: Yeah. And they don't want to take a.
[00:09:29] Anna: Bothering me, you know. He was really into tennis, so he was very fit and I wasn't as fit, even though I did work out.
[00:09:38] Lauren: I'm shocked he was fit. If he's drinking that much. That's hard to keep up with.
[00:09:42] Anna: He wouldn't eat. He would intermittently fast too. It was like he had an eating disorder. And he would play tennis with like different women. And like, it didn't bother me. Like I knew they were just like kind of at the club or whatever. And it. I was never jealous. Nothing was on my radar. Like, gut wasn't doing anything. Spidey sense wasn't tingling. And this, this was like prior. But after the whole phone thing at the concert, I got his and he had changed his passcode. So I was like, oh, hell no.
That's a little shady. Dude thought he was slick. And he's like, here, go through my phone. Well, I found where he had secretly been meeting up with this girl to run and didn't tell me about it.
And so, you know, of course I like find her on Instagram. I think she's drop dead gorgeous. I mean, just amazing, like educated, smart, beautiful, like uber athletes, the whole deal.
So I'm like, why didn't you tell me about her? And he's like, well, I just need pitch a bitch fit about it. And you know, blah, blah, blah.
She was married. And I was like, well, of course I'm gonna pitch a bitch fit. You were lying to me.
[00:10:54] Lauren: Also, why are you, I don't know, by themselves, like, is it a running group or is it just the two of them?
[00:10:59] Anna: It was just the two of them and they were introduced by some mutual friends, which really pissed me off that they did that.
[00:11:06] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:11:08] Anna: At the same time, every weekend I'm working a full time job. Every, every weekend I'm going to see my parent. And this is like six hour drive, like up there. So I don't really have a lot. I'm like, something's fucked up, but I don't even have time to think about it, you know. And so also at the same time I noticed he kept mentioning this co worker's name, like he couldn't keep her name out of his mouth.
And I noticed she popped up on my Facebook as people you may know. As the summer rolls on and I'm, you know, working and I was driving up to see my parent and then I ended up leaving my job because it was just so stressful. He was pissed that I quit this job and he kept asking me about the insurance, like, oh, do they have good insurance at the former job? And I was like, why do I need to. I'm on your insurance, man.
You know, I was like, I could get my own insurance, but we're going to be paying the same amount.
And I was just like, this is weird. So I'm stacking this stuff in the back of my head and then he starts to fight on my birthday and doesn't get me anything for my birthday. I had to hang out with his parents for my birthday, which nobody wants to do that.
No, it's your birthday, you wanna celebrate it, right? Yeah.
Headed into the middle of summer, my brother wanted to go on an extended vacation. He hadn't been on a vacation with his family in forever and he needed someone to watch his house and to watch my parents.
So for two weeks I was like, okay, I'll come up there and take care of things. So for the two weeks I was up there, I was driving myself crazy, like looking at running apps and like comparing their running times. And I was like, oh, I've got this motherfucker. I know it.
And I was just like, have you ever seen, like, just like that beam, who is the guy from Always Sunny, and he's got, like, the strings, like, that was totally me. Totally me.
[00:13:07] Lauren: Like, making a crime scene out of it.
[00:13:08] Anna: Yes, absolutely. And I get back, I'm just like, something. I'm just like, really? It's gnawing at me. So I do what every sane woman would do. And I. I bought a GPS tracker.
[00:13:21] Lauren: As you should.
[00:13:22] Bree: Absolutely.
[00:13:23] Lauren: Oh, I wish.
[00:13:24] Anna: I threw it. And I threw it in his car. And let's see about, you know, everything was coaster for, like, two days while I kind of got used to, like, how it worked. And then he was like, hey, I'm gonna go over to this guy's house that I work with at. We're gonna have some beers, whatever, you know, we just need to blow off some steam. And I was like, oh, can I come? And he's like, oh, it would be so awkward. We're just doing dude time, you know?
And I was like, all right.
And I had a friend that I'd been like, kind of telling this to, and she's like, oh, girl, he's fucking somebody.
[00:13:55] Lauren: I knew it. Yeah.
[00:13:57] Anna: And so he.
I watched where the tracker goes, and he's like, oh, he lives in Hampton Cove.
Well, this tracker went nowhere near Hampton Cove.
It went straight into a trailer park.
So. I can't believe I did this. I kept that to myself. I did go straight over to my friend's house, though, who is like, mini CIA, and she's like, okay, this particular trailer belongs to this particular person.
And I was like, that's the mother of that girl.
Please. Huh?
What do you know? What do you know? So I.
I keep it to myself for two days. Two days. Two days. I keep it to myself.
And I'm just waiting. You're better than me because I'm trying to gather evidence.
[00:14:49] Lauren: I mean, smart. That smart. Smart.
[00:14:51] Anna: I want to gather evidence. And I'm, you know, going through his phone while he's asleep, and at least.
[00:14:56] Lauren: You could get it.
[00:14:57] Anna: Yeah.
[00:14:58] Lauren: Dick changed his passcode. I couldn't get in it.
[00:15:00] Anna: I got in. And then he changed it again. But nothing. Like, not even in the deleted. Deleted files.
[00:15:06] Lauren: He's good at covering his tracks.
[00:15:08] Anna: Yeah. And he was coach because he was not that smart. So it happened to be one night, and he came home and he's like, oh, hey, do you want to go out to eat maybe? And I was like, sure.
And he's like, hey, I'm gonna go for a run. And he was real specific about where he was gonna run and how long. And I was like, I don't know why you're being so specific. You never are where you say you are anyway. And he's like, what do you mean? And I was like, well, last time I checked, there's no trailer parks in Hampton Cove.
Dude lost his ever loving mind. And I thought he would just be like, what are you talking about? You're crazy.
He flipped out.
[00:15:48] Lauren: Oh, yeah, because when narcissists get caught, they get mad.
[00:15:51] Anna: His eyes went black.
[00:15:52] Lauren: That's terrifying.
[00:15:54] Anna: He was like, you're crazy. You're crazy. And I was like, no, I'm not crazy. I was like, I know exactly where you are. And he's like, you followed me? And I was like, maybe I did. And I was like, you know, if you.
[00:16:06] Lauren: That's not illegal, ladies.
[00:16:07] Anna: Yeah, I was like, if that's what you know, you're gonna sneak around, I'm gonna find out.
[00:16:11] Lauren: Yeah, he shouldn't expect to not get caught, play stupid games.
[00:16:15] Anna: So then he, like, got on his knees and said, I'll do anything. I'll go to marriage counseling. I'll do anything you want, just don't ruin her life.
She was married with a toddler. Of course she was. I was like, get fucked.
And grabbed my keys and my purse and headed straight out to my friend's house that I'd been chatting with. And as you should. Yeah. And he didn't know where she lived. So I go straight over there and she's like, oh, girl, I knew it. I knew it. And she's like, I gotta go to work. I was like. I was like, where am I gonna go? So I went to where he would never find me, Walmart.
Because I am a die hard Target girl.
So I went there for two reasons. One, he wouldn't find me. Two, I needed a phone charger because my phone was nearly dead. So I'm walking through Walmart just, like, numb, like, shaking my head, like, this is my life. So my phone's just blowing up, blowing up, blowing up. Text. Come home. We need to talk. I was like, go fuck yourself, dude. And I'm thinking, like, I need to go get a hotel room or do I need to go stay with somebody? How am I gonna go home and get my clothes? Like, I'm just like, thinking, thinking, thinking. So then I get this text that says, don't.
If you don't come home soon, you're going to be a widow.
See Ya. I was like, wow. So I called his dad. He was on vacation. And I was like, hey, just so you know, I caught your son cheating on me, and now he's threatening suicide. So his dad's like, why don't you get over there? And I was like, I really don't want to.
[00:17:49] Lauren: No.
[00:17:49] Anna: And so his dad called the police, and the police went over there.
And then I was like, I guess I need to talk to them so I could get. I was thinking I could get my clothes and stuff while the cops are there.
So I go over there and, like, he is kind of messed up. He's, like, taken all of my pills, like, all of my antidepressants. He had taken, like, Xanax.
[00:18:12] Lauren: So he's mixing all kinds of things.
[00:18:13] Anna: Yeah, yeah. And. And washed it down with part of the liquor cabinet, but he was still up and talking. And so the cop was like, there were two cops, a male and female. And the female's like, so you caught him cheating? And now he's, you know, pitching a fit. And I was like, yeah. And she's like, do you have somewhere safe to go? And I was like, yeah, I just want my stuff. So I got my stuff. She's like, get the rest of your medicine. I got it. I didn't really look at it.
And I got everything put in a bag, threw it in my car. And I was like, bye. So he had denied to the cops that he was suicidal.
And they didn't. The cops didn't take any action. They just let him go, let me get my stuff. And I left the house out of concern for my safety because I'm an idiot.
I went back to check on him because I was like, you're not an idiot.
[00:18:56] Lauren: You have empathy.
[00:18:57] Anna: And the animals. Well, yeah, you know, I was just like, I don't know. He previously threatened to kill the cat. Like, we had a couple of dog. We had a bunch of. A bunch of animals.
[00:19:06] Lauren: Well. And you still. No matter how mad you are at the person who has the affair and who betrays you, there's a part of you that still loves them.
[00:19:13] Anna: Yeah.
[00:19:13] Lauren: Because I never thought I would have talked to Dick again.
[00:19:16] Anna: Yeah.
[00:19:17] Lauren: And much less go to movies with him by myself a month after it happened.
[00:19:22] Anna: Thought they were.
[00:19:23] Lauren: Yeah, right. Like, you're still in love with that person even though, like, it's not that in the future of what you thought it would be. Yeah.
[00:19:30] Anna: So when I came back, he was way more messed up. And I was like, he stashed some of those pills and stuff. Or like, everything was hitting him. And I looked in our liquor cabinet. Everything was gone. Like, at least three bottles. Like a vodka bottle. A gym. And they weren't totally full, but, like, every. Everything was, like, emptied. Yeah.
So I was like, man, what are you doing?
I got his phone from him. I got his password because he was so goofed up. He told it to me, stuff it in my pocket. And then he all of a sudden springs up off the couch, like, renewed life. And he's like, grab my. Grab my shoulder. And he's like, come on, we got to go to the shed. And I was like, what's in the shed? I was just like. Like, oh, he's so goofed up. And he's like, it's just what you always wanted. And I was like, what are you talking about? And I'm thinking, how am I gonna handle him? His family's out of town.
Like, if I leave him alone, he might do something stupid. Right? Like, I'm just trying to, like, make sure he's safe, because what the hell is wrong with me?
So he kind of leads me to the shed, and then as soon as the shed door opens and there's no light in the shed, he's, like, digging into my arm, leading me towards the corner.
And I should preface this by saying I had no idea we had firearms in the house.
No idea.
[00:20:53] Lauren: Oh, that's terrifying.
[00:20:54] Anna: He pulls a shotgun from behind a cabinet and says, it's just. It's just like you always wanted. Murder, suicide.
Which that is. So fucking.
Let's back up. We used to joke about it in the morning when we didn't want to go to work. Like, I have a dark sense of humor. And I'd be like, I don't want to go to work. And you'd be like, me either. And I'd be like, murder suicide. He'd be like, murder suicide. And we were just.
[00:21:18] Lauren: I mean, yeah, same.
[00:21:19] Anna: I have.
[00:21:20] Lauren: I would have a. She's dark as shit. Yeah. I talk about death daily.
[00:21:25] Anna: And, you know, then we, like, argue over who had to do what. But he's like, it's just what you always want. And he had that rifle, and I grabbed it out of his hand, kicked him over, like, some workout equipment that was out there good. And ran to the front. Like, to the front yard with it. I didn't know what to do. I had, like, this lowrider sports car. I threw it. Like, it was such a small car. I couldn't get it in my car. I threw it under the car, and I Ran back inside the house, you know, I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. Like, should I call 91 1? Like. And I was like, I don't want to get him in trouble.
I was not thinking straight.
[00:22:03] Lauren: Well, no, you just had a gun in your face.
[00:22:05] Anna: I heard him. Well, you didn't put a gun in my face at that point.
I heard him absolutely tearing our laundry room to bits. What was going on in there? Emptying the cabinets. Stuff was getting thrown.
So I opened the door like, what the hell? And there's a.22 in my face.
[00:22:22] Lauren: Holy shit.
[00:22:23] Bree: So he had more than one gun?
[00:22:24] Anna: Yeah. He cocks it. And I just froze.
[00:22:26] Lauren: Well, yeah.
[00:22:27] Anna: And I was like, what do you want?
And he was like, I don't know.
And at this point, to this day, I don't remember if I was in that laundry room for three minutes, 30 minutes, three hours. I don't really remember a lot what was. Of what was said. I think he told me not to ruin her life again.
[00:22:48] Lauren: Really cares about that girl's life.
[00:22:49] Anna: Sure does. Yeah. At some point I just. And he had the gun cocked and I.
I was like, okay, it's a.22. He's not going to really blow my. But he can definitely goofed me up. Yeah.
So I. At one point I just grabbed it out of his hand because he was kind of loosey goosey and kicked him again and ran and threw it in my car, Folded down the passenger seat, put the rifle in my car, peeled out and like, called my friend again. And I was like, can I Breeng guns to your house? And she's like, what?
And I was like, can I Breeng guns to your house right now? Chad just threatened me with guns.
And she's like, what guns? And I was like, I was like, the guns I didn't know that were in my house. So I get over. I get over to her house and she's so solid. Such. I mean, like, that girl would be like, I could be like, can we hide this body? And she'd be like, what body? You know?
So she's like, yes. And then I'm just telling her everything that happened and I'm shaking and I'm like, do I call the police? What do I do? Do I call one of his friends to come, like, kick his ass and like, settle him down? Like, she's like petting my hair and making me like herbal tea and everything. And we're going through his phone and finding stuff and. And I'm like, this is just. This isn't my life.
Same time, my brother's texting me about my parent declining rapidly.
And I couldn't even answer him. I'm like, what do I tell him? Like, sorry, can't talk right now.
[00:24:24] Lauren: Guns were in my face.
[00:24:25] Anna: So at one point, I'm kind of calmed down and I'm like, I have to go back there. I think he might be ODing.
Like, something compelled me to go back to my house.
I don't even know what it was. Like, I was just like, I have to go. And my friend was like, don't go. You're. You're a.
You know, And I was like, I have to. I go back, I go inside. The dogs are, like, kind of freaked out. He's in our bedroom agonally, breathing. I call 911 and they have me do CPR. I don't know how many, like, firefighters and cops showed up at my house. I don't even remember what I told them.
[00:25:03] Lauren: Did you tell them about the guns?
[00:25:05] Anna: Yes.
[00:25:05] Lauren: Okay, good.
[00:25:06] Anna: So they take him to the hospital. It's. By that time, the sun was up.
My neighbors are like, coming out of the house because apparently in the middle of all this, he had called the mistress and like, I'm gonna kill myself or whatever. She and her mother came over and pounded on the door, and he didn't answer. So then they called a welfare check. So at this point, I think the cops have been in my house three times.
[00:25:29] Lauren: Oh, God.
[00:25:30] Anna: That night. So all my neighbors were like, what's going on over there at the their house?
[00:25:35] Bree: They're out there, like, blow drying the.
[00:25:37] Anna: Front porch or something, right? They're vacuuming the grass.
So my next door neighbors, who I was good friends with, came out, like, when the ambulance was there, and they were like, what's going on? I was like, I can't even tell you. And they were like, just go. Go the hospital. We got your dogs. We got everything. Like, we're good. I was like, thank you. Follow the ambulance to the hospital. And I called his.
Called his father again, and I was like, he is dying. You need to come help deal with this.
And so he gets his wife on the phone and she's just like, I'm calling my daughter. She's gonna come up, and she's a social worker. She'll come help you. And I was like, no, no, you don't understand. And they were like, he's still your person. He's still your person.
[00:26:22] Lauren: My person doesn't stick a gun in my face.
[00:26:24] Anna: I was flipping my shit.
So I'm Sitting there in this huge ER room, and he's got so many tubes and stuff in him, he looks like a Borg. And so I took that opportunity to further go through his phone.
[00:26:41] Bree: As you should.
[00:26:42] Anna: Found y'. All. When I say go through their phone, leave no stone unturned. Found a mutual Pinterest. A Pinterest, Wow. Yes. For their plans to run off and get married, there were wedding rings, wedding dresses, a house, all this stuff.
And I took like a couple of bad screenshots before my mind just clicked. And I was like, I'm telling her husband. So I found him on Facebook and started messaging him and I was like, hey, they're planning to run off, just so you know.
And by the time we have that conversation, I go back to the Pinterest and it's gone.
[00:27:19] Lauren: No, she deleted it.
[00:27:21] Anna: And I was like.
But I had other stuff. And he. He was. I guess she convinced him, like, oh, that girl's crazy. You know? Oh, God. And so, like, are they.
[00:27:33] Lauren: Do you know if they're still together?
[00:27:35] Anna: No. No, they're not. Actually.
It wasn't fun anymore once we divorced. So as soon as the ink dried on the divorce papers, he pretty much gave her the boot and started looking for somebody else.
[00:27:47] Lauren: What about her husband? Did she. Did he keep her?
[00:27:49] Anna: He kept her. And they.
She dated my ex through a second pregnancy. No idea who the dad is. No.
I mean, come on. Come on. I look at that kid sometimes online and I'm like, does he?
Because her husband and my ex look a lot alike.
[00:28:10] Lauren: That's some dick move right there.
That's like. That's like him with his kids that are hidden that nobody knows about.
[00:28:17] Anna: Yeah. So.
But she. She, like, gaslighted. She gaslit everybody. Like, oh, my gosh, that girl's so crazy.
[00:28:25] Lauren: Yeah, don't be like that girl. Ladies, do not be the woman that has the affair. Knowing that that man is married and then turns around and plays the. No, that wife was crazy. I never did anything. Like, if you're gonna be saving him.
[00:28:39] Anna: From his terrible marriage. Yeah.
[00:28:41] Lauren: No, Even while she was married.
[00:28:43] Anna: Got in on it and were like, oh, we know all about you. Because he had been shit talking me at work. In fact, when he went back to work because he missed several days, and I just called his office manager and said, hey, this is going to have to be a story he tells because you're not going to hear it from me. I just. I didn't feel like it.
[00:29:00] Lauren: Yeah. My thing, though is like, what? Like, she's saving him, but she's married.
So, like, what? What?
[00:29:08] Anna: According to him, he beat her.
And I was like, did you ever see any bruises on her? Or like, no, but that also doesn't matter.
[00:29:17] Lauren: Like, she's still being a hoe.
[00:29:18] Anna: Yeah.
[00:29:19] Lauren: And so, like. And so her friends are supporting her wholeness. Listen, I love my girls, but if my girl sits there and says, I'm gonna be with a merry man, I'm gonna be like, well, that's some hoish activity.
[00:29:28] Anna: Yeah.
[00:29:28] Lauren: Like, I love you, but you might want to think about that hoish activity you're doing. And especially now after being through what I've been through with dick.
[00:29:35] Anna: Absolutely.
[00:29:36] Lauren: I would be like, mmm, I'm gonna slap you across the face for a minute. Like, you know, don't be a hoe.
It's not that hard.
[00:29:44] Anna: So after. After he was resuscitated in the hospital, they had his father sign a petition for him to have a psychiatric hold. So he had to go straight up to psych. Good. So I took that opportunity the next morning to go straight to an attorney.
A divorce attorney.
[00:30:01] Lauren: Yeah. And here on Spill the Tea, we recommend Ryan and Rouse, llc. Every day. Every day.
[00:30:06] Anna: I called some of my friends and I was like, who is the meanest, cruelest dickish?
I was like, I want an asshole. And so I found one.
[00:30:16] Lauren: Perfect.
[00:30:17] Anna: So I actually interviewed a few while he was in the hospital. And while he was in the hospital, homegirl took the opportunity to start texting me and taunting me about the affair and how fat I was and what a piece of shit I was. And lazy, y'. All. At one point, I had four jobs at once.
My grind would start no matter what at like, 6:00am and some nights, I wouldn't get home till like, 9:00'.
[00:30:44] Lauren: Clock.
[00:30:44] Anna: Good God. Her friend, who was also a co worker, took the opportunity to also taunt me and gaslight me. So it started right off the bat from anonymous numbers like, that I couldn't call back.
Like, just trash phone numbers.
And I had his phone. And she was like, texting him, like, are you okay? And I was like, fuck off. This is. You know, this is Anna.
I have Chad's phone.
Don't even.
And she took that to, like, blow up at me. And I was just sitting there, screenshot, screenshot. Videoing it with my phone.
And so he gets released from the psych hospital, happy as a clam.
So are you gonna come pick me up?
No. I was like, I'm goddamn scared of you.
[00:31:34] Lauren: Oh, yeah. You kind of put a gun in my face.
[00:31:36] Anna: Oh. And while I was in there. I also, like, turned over, like, everything, like, to that girl. I was like, you know, here's my phone number. Call me with any updates, you know, the whole deal. I was like, I'll come get him. Just let me know anything.
And I texted her all that. I was like, he is all yours, baby girl.
[00:31:54] Lauren: Yeah, have that prize.
[00:31:57] Anna: And I was like, man. So, yeah, in the meantime, HPD is calling me, and they're like, we want to go arrest him. Yeah, he's being released. Can we arrest him? As soon as he gets released from the hospital, y'. All. I was scared.
[00:32:11] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:32:11] Anna: I didn't know what he was capable of because I had never seen him violent, ever.
I had never seen him violent, and I had just.
I was afraid, like, I didn't know who I had to, like, help me. His family. His family decided to stay on vacation while all this happened. Like, they didn't even interrupt their vacation to come take care of their insane son. And they stayed in touch with me up until my second attorney's appointment. And then they were like, yeah, we got to cut you off at this point. Point. And I. I was like, okay, your son's a piece of. All right, bye.
[00:32:49] Lauren: So I told my ex mother in law her son was a piece of, too. She didn't like it. I also told her she was a piece of for enabling him. She didn't like that either.
[00:32:57] Anna: If I ever see them out, I will be sure to tell them what piece of they raised.
[00:33:01] Lauren: So. So. But you didn't end up having him arrested, did you?
[00:33:04] Anna: No, I didn't. Yeah, and I had a year to do it, and I should have done it. I should have done it because it did nothing but benefit him to have not been arrested.
[00:33:13] Lauren: Yeah, because if he would have got arrested, he would have had a. Had a record. It would have been harder for him to get jobs and everything else.
[00:33:18] Anna: He works for the city now. And he got that job because.
[00:33:22] Lauren: Yeah, because he doesn't have a record. Well, listen, the minute I. The minute I can press charges for Dick not paying me and get him arrested and he'll lose his job, I will. So you better pay me.
[00:33:32] Anna: Two years after that incident, he still kept dating that girl through her pregnancy who was. I don't know who's. He would empty the bank account. He didn't give me a penny. So I was living off, like, four credit cards. Yeah. To. He would pay the mortgage and the utility bill, but I had no food. I had to pay my car payment. I had anything I needed Pet food, finances, necessities.
[00:33:57] Lauren: Finances is the worst part. Like I swear it is like the betrayal and it hurts and it makes you like think like I'm not worthy, like what's wrong with me? But once all that, once you get past that part, it's the finances that still hang around and they're around forever. And that's the part that's.
[00:34:11] Anna: Oh, I'm still, I'm still going through it.
[00:34:12] Lauren: Yeah, me too. It's.
[00:34:14] Anna: It's been three years and I'm still going through it.
So. Yeah, they hung out dating or whatever they were doing for two more years. And the whole time I was getting just texts all the time. Like horrible texts from anonymous numbers multiple times a day, you know, making fun of me.
Oh, I got your man. All this, you know, stupid stuff. And all I would do was like screenshot them. I went to the police about it and they were like, well, you can't really prove it, but just, you know, keep screenshot, keep a log.
I would get pictures of my license plate, of my car and they were like, forward them to us. We, we'll see if we can get like metadata. They couldn't.
Somebody put a knife in my front door. I had an emergency house I moved to, somebody put a knife in my front door. I got comments on where I worked. She showed up at my work and I had to have her removed. My parent died. Both her and my husband harassed me during my parents funeral.
But here's the. She tried to flip this script. She was like, oh, your ex wife is harassing me and texting me all this horrible stuff. And so he would come at me viciously like, quit texting her. You are just, oh, you're so petty and childish. And I was like, go through my phone.
I was like, these numbers that you have to make up, they cost money. Yeah, they can be up to a dollar a text. I was like, do you think I have the time and money to do that? Like, absolutely not. So finally I think I got through to him at some point. I was just like, hey, did her text for me ramp up when you guys get in a fight? And he's like, huh?
Yeah, duh. And then like he was said he was getting texts and stuff. I, I don't know.
But I finally, I went to the police and they were like, all right, this is getting really serious.
In the middle of all that, she texted me to my real number from her real number. And I happened to be at another funeral and I was just like, I'll beat your ass well, that was enough for me to be arrested.
[00:36:30] Lauren: So you get arrested. He got arrested. I got arrested. For putting a gun in your face.
[00:36:33] Anna: I got arrested.
[00:36:34] Lauren: But you got arrested.
[00:36:35] Anna: And the cops kind of rolled their eyes at it. I lawyered up, and I had. I printed over 160 pages of text, screenshots of text. She'd also sent me letters and cards that were just vicious. And her attorney told my attorney. Her attorney was like, I'm terrified of this woman.
I don't even want to, like, do anything. Like, psychotic. Yeah. So basically, all in all, after, like, a lot of stuff and things happened, she got fined a whole lot of money, and she can never contact me again, or she goes right to jail.
[00:37:08] Lauren: Good, good. Did you get the money?
[00:37:11] Anna: No. I spent $3,000 on an attorney.
I didn't get anything, but she had to pay, like, almost that in court fines.
So I haven't heard from her since. I do get, like, signed up for, like, lists like Ozempic and weight loss and all this petty crap. But at the time, Chad had.
As soon as he broke up with homegirl, I think it was three weeks later, he hooked up with another girl. Within five weeks, he was moving. He was living with her, of course. So this girl could not stand that we had this connection of a court case and had to interject herself into it. I was like, I think I've been getting texts, too. People have come out of the door to tell me, oh, he had an affair with somebody at this job. Oh, you know, he had an affair while you guys were engaged.
[00:38:01] Lauren: Listen, people, if you know that these people are cheating, tell us. Like, I'm so pissed off at the people that knew that he was being a hoe and didn't tell me. I would never have married that.
Like, if we don't know, then we can't make informed decisions for ourselves. Don't sit there behind our back and be like, oh, poor so and so don't know that their husband's being a hoe. Fucking tell us.
[00:38:24] Anna: Yeah. And on another side of that coin, a lot of people were like, I never liked him. I'm like, y' all are my friends.
[00:38:30] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:38:31] Anna: Why didn't you tell me that he weirded you out or. Yeah.
[00:38:34] Lauren: That there were Whatever flags.
[00:38:36] Bree: Absolutely.
[00:38:38] Lauren: Well, I hate that you went through all that, but you are in a happy relationship now.
[00:38:42] Anna: Yes.
[00:38:43] Lauren: So there's light at the end of that tunnel.
[00:38:45] Anna: Yes. I mean, treated like a princess, and it's. It's amazing.
[00:38:48] Lauren: Oh, good. You deserve it. And it's. That makes Us feel better because that's something that, like, there is a light.
[00:38:55] Anna: At the end of the tunnel. I still have a lot of work to do. I'm seeing, like a trauma informed therapist every other week. And, yeah, you know, I still have a lot to work through, y'. All.
[00:39:05] Lauren: Oh, I bet, like, you went through massive trauma, like, like physical, emotional, having a gun in your face.
[00:39:11] Anna: The thing I can't wrap my head around is how could you, like, take advantage? Like, somebody's like, yeah, she's away, like, at her parents bedside holding their hand while they die. Let me cheat.
[00:39:21] Lauren: Yep.
[00:39:21] Bree: They have no morals. They have no standards.
[00:39:24] Anna: Like, no.
[00:39:25] Lauren: No standards. And then. And then you're like, how. Then you blame yourself. How did I love this person who has no moral standards?
[00:39:31] Anna: I had to really come to terms with the fact that I fell in love with somebody that didn't exist.
[00:39:36] Lauren: Yep. Same.
[00:39:37] Bree: We all did.
[00:39:37] Lauren: Like, and that's the thing is, like, I'm still working through that because, like, at one point he made me feel like I was the best person in the world. And I know that he's currently doing that to other women.
[00:39:45] Anna: Right.
[00:39:46] Lauren: And I'm just like, he's love bombing.
[00:39:48] Anna: And that's.
[00:39:49] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:39:49] Anna: Where they get their, like, flying monkeys. It's like the current girlfriend thinks that I'm a complete nutter piece of. That's what they do to justify, like, how shitty they are. They. Oh, she's crazy.
She's, you know, all, you know, spend all my money.
That was his big thing. I spent all his money, you know, when I had four jobs and, you know, and he was busy buying, like, you know, super expensive tennis rackets and the finest, you know, tennis shoes.
[00:40:18] Lauren: Oh, yeah.
[00:40:19] Anna: You know, Lululemon workout clothes. Like, nothing but the best for him. But, you know, I bought like, one pair of expensive tennis shoes and he's like, oh.
[00:40:31] Lauren: Yep. Dick would be like, you're controlling the money. Like, that's what. That's his complaints to me is that I was controlling because he couldn't say.
[00:40:38] Anna: He.
[00:40:38] Lauren: Everyone knew I made the money, so he couldn't say anything. But that was his thing is I was controlling. And I'm like, no, I'm just paying bills, which you don't want to do.
So, yeah, there's that to this day.
[00:40:50] Anna: I'm finding out, like. And also my brain is connecting like A to B. And I'm like, that son of a bitch. Yeah.
I was like, yeah, it does that. I was like, I bet he wasn't camping with his friend.
[00:41:03] Lauren: Yeah.
I go back through stuff, and I'm like, oh, so when he told me he was doing this, he was with a woman when he told me he's doing this.
[00:41:09] Anna: Yeah. I'm like, oh, when he wouldn't shut up talking about this woman. He was having an affair. Yeah. Yeah. When? You know, I'm like, when he would go on these camping trips where, like, his cell phone didn't work, I'm like.
Because it was turned off. Yeah. Your cell phone works everywhere. Unless you're deep in a national park or something.
[00:41:28] Lauren: Correct.
[00:41:29] Anna: It probably works there too.
[00:41:30] Lauren: It does. I I. It does.
I've been there. It does.
[00:41:34] Anna: I'm like, with a woman. Okay.
[00:41:35] Lauren: Yeah. Well, thank you for coming on and telling your story. I'm glad that there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
[00:41:40] Anna: Yes.
[00:41:40] Lauren: For everybody.
[00:41:41] Anna: Trust your gut.
[00:41:43] Bree: All right, Bree, we'll see you next week.
[00:41:44] Lauren: See you next we
