Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Sam.
[00:00:31] Speaker B: Welcome back to Spill the Tea HSV.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: With Lauren and Brie.
[00:00:35] Speaker B: So, Brie, let's have your dating story of the week.
[00:00:39] Speaker A: Well, this week, it's. It's interesting. You know, we've had the ones who have been in prison. We've had the ones, the drug addicts. We've had, you know, the ones that are just straight up batshit crazy. Well, today we have one. I'm calling him Goatman. Goatman, Goat Man.
[00:00:54] Speaker B: Fantastic.
[00:00:55] Speaker A: So he pops up on my dating app that he liked me, and the first picture of him is a selfie with him and his goat.
[00:01:02] Speaker B: I mean, goats are cute, but.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: No, we're talking like.
Like a granddaddy billy goat. Oh, this sucker's old. Oh, just like his owner. Just like his owner.
He is every bit of, like, 65 years old.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: Maybe they grew up together, it looks like.
[00:01:20] Speaker A: So the picture pops up, you know, right underneath. It has, like, the bio and has some prompts. Well, what is something you never, you know, stop talking about? It says goats.
The names of them. He's obsessed. He is a goat man. So it says. He will never shut up about his pet goats, especially Beavis, Butthead, and Bella. I don't remember there being a Bella in that show.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: I never. I don't know. I wasn't allowed to watch that.
[00:01:45] Speaker A: Well, I wasn't either, but, you know, I. I don't rec.
They're baby.
[00:01:49] Speaker B: Maybe he really likes Twilight.
[00:01:51] Speaker A: Yeah, I was about to.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: Maybe we jump from Beavis and Butthead to Twilight.
[00:01:55] Speaker A: Yeah, possibly. And then he says, I wouldn't take a million dollars for each of them. That's $3 million for some Billy goats.
[00:02:03] Speaker B: I would do more than give that goat away for $3 million.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: You know, in Alabama, they love a goat stew.
[00:02:12] Speaker B: I'm just saying, I'm like, you want to give me $3 million?
What do you want me to play it? Like, what do you want?
Well, he really, really loves those goats.
[00:02:25] Speaker A: He does. He does. And, you know, I mean, I can't say much. You know, I have my dog, but maybe she's not a billy goat.
[00:02:30] Speaker B: Maybe he would love a woman as much as his goats.
[00:02:35] Speaker C: No comment.
[00:02:37] Speaker A: No comment.
So tell us about yours.
[00:02:40] Speaker B: Oh, God. Okay, well, it's a bio, because, dear God, I wasn't gonna match with this person. First of all, his. His shirt's off in his first photo. And, homeboy, you don't even got abs. Why your shirt off?
[00:02:52] Speaker A: Like, he's rocking the dad bod.
[00:02:54] Speaker B: He's rocking some really ugly tattoos that he needs to Go have a conversation with his artist about.
Because, like, the line work is atrocious.
I don't know.
Maybe it goes, but it's like. It's like wings and a skull under his belly button going beneath his boxers.
[00:03:16] Speaker A: It's gonna take flight.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: Yeah. So that's kind of what it Like, I think that's what he wanted was his. His wee wee to take flight.
It's a really odd choice for a tattoo, I'm telling you.
His wee wee's taking flight on a skull wings. I don't know. Super strange. But his bio is just, want a chick to come serve me a fresh cream pie?
Gross, bro. Like, this isn't even the right app.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: No, it is not. That's absolutely disgusting.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Go to OnlyFans. We really need to give a little first, though, which, again, people need to learn how to write.
[00:04:01] Speaker A: Give what?
[00:04:02] Speaker B: I. I.
Who knows? Like, I mean, let's learn to actually speak.
[00:04:07] Speaker A: I need you to match with him and ask him.
[00:04:09] Speaker B: I'm not matching with him. He scares me.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: I'm kidding.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: I'm going to get. I mean, this is. This is the guy that comes over and murders you for sure.
I don't want to turn a hoe into a housewife. I want my wife to be a big hoe.
[00:04:25] Speaker A: So I have no words.
[00:04:28] Speaker B: Okay, me neither.
Me neither. Like, I was literally just, like, speechless.
Screenshotted it. Blocked him, like, moved on.
[00:04:36] Speaker A: Oh, absolutely. He sounds like a hoe.
[00:04:38] Speaker B: Well, he's definitely a hoe.
[00:04:40] Speaker A: Oh, well, yeah.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: So then. But are you actually okay with your wife being one? Because I highly doubt it. I'm sure that he wants her to be faithful, but act like a hoe. I don't know. Freaking the sheets thing. Sure. Okay, whatever. But, like, ew. I can imagine just how thrilling his life.
[00:04:57] Speaker A: That's disgusting. It's just gross. Yeah, I have no words.
[00:05:00] Speaker B: Nor do I.
Again, dumpster fire. That is what we're living with in today's age with dating. So we have a special guest with us today.
[00:05:09] Speaker A: We do.
[00:05:09] Speaker B: This is Bailey, and we're gonna have her tell us a little bit about herself. Oh, Bailey. As we were talking prior to this podcast, we learned that Dick matched with you liked you back in August, which means we were still married. So do you remember anything? Like, was it the good morning, beautiful? He loves to say good morning, beautiful.
[00:05:30] Speaker C: Yeah, of course. I got it.
[00:05:31] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, Yep. He was sending me, good morning, my beautiful wife, but I think he would just say, like, good morning, beautiful, and then add my wife on the message. He would text Me, but, you know, send group messages to that. So you said that you got a weird vibe from him.
[00:05:47] Speaker C: Yeah, it just didn't seem consistent. He would not, like, consistently talk to me, be very sporadic, and then we'd, like, plan something. He's like, oh, never mind. Like, I have plans.
Cancel.
[00:05:58] Speaker A: Yeah, and he did have plans.
[00:06:00] Speaker B: He was busy with his wife pretending that he was happily married and completely lying and fooling me. So I just think it's so funny because there's just so many. So many.
But, yeah, so we learned that, so that was fun. Another.
Should we call them dickapades?
[00:06:19] Speaker C: I like it.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah, I do, too.
So you met him and. Or you didn't meet him, but you got spirit by match. You matched, and you moved on. But he's still out there, so watch out. Cause, you know, he was on Bumble yesterday, so. But in the course of that, you told Bri and I about a fun spreadsheet that you make. So tell us about that.
[00:06:38] Speaker C: Yes. Yes. So I ended up starting a spreadsheet in late December, early January about the guy. Guys I talk to about the guys I go on dates with. It's kind of detailed. So it has. When I started talking to them, their first name. If they get far enough, I'll put a nickname in there. What app we met on, how old they are, like, where they live, if they have kids, what their job is, if we're currently talking, if we went on a date, and then, of course, comments. So it's pretty detailed.
[00:07:04] Speaker B: I love this.
[00:07:07] Speaker C: It's fun and interesting. I actually got started because last year at the end, I saw a lot of people on Tik Tok, like, do their dating of that year, and they had it all mapped out, like, okay, well, I'm gonna do this just a little bit more detailed. That way I can make stories and have fun with it and share it with my friends and all of that, because most of my friends are already married, and it's not fun being the only single one in the group.
[00:07:27] Speaker A: I think you need to, like, make this a template and sell it on Etsy or anywhere, actually, because I would totally buy it.
[00:07:34] Speaker C: Nice. I definitely could do that. I like that idea.
[00:07:36] Speaker B: I actually really like that idea because I also think that'd be very entertaining to do.
So, yeah, you should definitely, like, monetize that.
So for, like, the comments, are they just all, like, funny? Like, like, oh, my God, this guy was a nightmare. Are there any good ones?
[00:07:53] Speaker C: So they've been some good dates that just didn't get past the second date. But there have been some really bad dates I've been on or people I've talked to. Just didn't get even to the first date.
One of the guys I talked to, I nicked him. Nicknamed him Psycho.
Um, we Talked less than 24 hours and I ended up having to file a police report on this man.
[00:08:12] Speaker A: What happened?
[00:08:14] Speaker C: So we matched, I think on Tinder and we were talking probably for a couple hours. He asked me for my number. Being a woman, like, you don't want to give that out right away. You want to be careful. So I tell him that I was like, what about Snapchat? He's like, nope, I don't have Snapchat. I was like, okay, well let's just keep talking on here.
And so we do, we talk for a little bit longer. We set up a plan. I think it was a Saturday. We set up a date to go out on Tuesday. And then you know, he's like, well, can I have your number now that we have a date set up? I'm like, sure, whatever, it's fine. At this point, like I'm at my parents house and spending some time with him and he immediately like text me, hey, call me. And I was like, well, I'm with my family, I'll call you later. And he gets kind of pissed off. He's like, what are you, 12? You can't talk to somebody while you're at your parents house?
And I was like, I'm spending time with my family, I will call you when I leave.
He's like, okay, no problem, whatever. So we keep texting. I finally leave my parents house and I call him and almost immediately he starts asking for like naked pictures.
[00:09:10] Speaker B: Of course.
[00:09:11] Speaker C: Huh.
So he's given off vibes already that I just want to end this conversation and cancel our date, but I don't want to do it in a rude way. I don't know what's going to happen. So I just end up driving to my apartment 15 minutes while listening to him asking for pictures and him telling me what he wants to do to me. And all this.
[00:09:29] Speaker B: Finally, it's been less than 24 hours.
[00:09:31] Speaker C: Less than 24 hours. It's probably been 10 hours at this point. So I get off the phone with him, I go upstairs to my apartment, I'm hanging out with my roommate and he's texting me. He's like, hey, so is your roommate like a male or female? Yep, you're giving me a look right now. That is what he asked. And I said, does it really Matter, right? And he's like, well, I don't want someone else looking at your butt.
[00:09:53] Speaker A: I wish a man would. I wish a man would.
[00:09:56] Speaker C: Yep. So I very nicely say, I'm like, okay, I'm honestly not feeling this anymore. Let's just cancel our date. And he's like, fine, we'll just cancel it. Whatever. It's fine. Move on. So I delete everything. I'm like, okay, we're done. Nothing's gonna happen. This man text me an hour later, hey, I still want to go on our date on Tuesday. I swear to God.
[00:10:18] Speaker B: Like, something's happening where men don't take no for an answer. No means no. Like, we just. We keep telling you this, and yet they just keep doing it. I don't understand.
[00:10:29] Speaker C: Well, I told this man, I was like, nope, I'm good. Like, we're, you know, not. Nothing's going to happen. And he goes ballistic. He is calling me. I hang up on him. I, like, send a voicemail. He says, you know what? I'm going to find out where you live. And so I don't respond.
Like, maybe 10 minutes later, he sends me screenshots of the last two addresses that I had.
Not my current one, but the last two.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: Because he had your phone number.
[00:10:55] Speaker C: Because he had my phone number.
And so then he tells me, well, I'm going to have someone follow you.
You're not gonna know when. You're not gonna know what they're gonna do to you, but I'm gonna have someone follow you 24 7.
[00:11:06] Speaker B: So he's threatening you.
[00:11:07] Speaker C: So he's threatening me. And I am panicking. I am panicking.
[00:11:10] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
[00:11:11] Speaker C: And it's terrifying. And it's not just me, it's my roommate. I'm like, what do I do? Do I call the police? Like, what do I do? And so he just keeps antagonizing me for, like, the next 30 minutes. So I end up calling the non emergency line for Huntsville. And they take the information.
They're like, well, do you want to press charges? I was like, I don't think so. But I do want the report on file. Like, well, you have enough to press a charge. However, you don't have the information we need to find this man. Because the number that comes up may not be his. I only have his first name. I don't have his last name. I don't have his address.
[00:11:43] Speaker B: Girl, I wish we would have known each other. I could have found him for you.
[00:11:46] Speaker A: I was about to say, call us next time.
[00:11:48] Speaker C: Well, every information he gave Me was a lie. His name, not his name.
Where he works isn't where he works. Like, anything he gave me was wrong.
[00:11:58] Speaker B: So he's probably a serial killer.
[00:11:59] Speaker C: Oh, probably.
[00:12:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:00] Speaker C: So I dodged a bullet.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:01] Speaker C: Well.
[00:12:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:12:02] Speaker A: How old is he?
[00:12:03] Speaker C: He said he was 32. Like, I still have pictures of this man.
[00:12:06] Speaker B: Well, you're gonna have to show us those to make sure we avoid that.
These are the stories you hear about that make it on to, like, Lifetime.
[00:12:13] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:12:14] Speaker B: So I'm glad that you. All your spidey senses went up and you did not end up going out with this guy, because you may not be here right now. You know, people say all the time, well, women cheat, too. Women are crazy, too. Women are bad, too. And I'm not saying that we're not because there are women out there who are, but I don't think men are scared we're going to kill them.
[00:12:33] Speaker C: True.
[00:12:33] Speaker B: And that's something that women actually have to worry about because men are constantly threatening us or trying to intimidate us or talk down to us or whatever the case is. And I'm like, this is not okay that we have to even worry about this. We shouldn't have to worry about this. When we're trying to date and find somebody to spend our life with. And they wonder why all these women are choosing to stay single.
[00:12:55] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:55] Speaker B: Like, because we might get ax murdered.
[00:12:58] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:12:58] Speaker B: This is literally insane.
[00:13:00] Speaker A: So let me ask you this. Do you ever run, like, background checks on anybody, like, before you go on a date with them or anything?
[00:13:05] Speaker C: I've started doing that now, but I wasn't three months ago.
[00:13:09] Speaker B: So this kind of.
[00:13:10] Speaker A: Right.
[00:13:10] Speaker C: Yeah. This started that. So I have a friend that will do it for me. She used it all the time because she's also dating.
She's just dating older than I am. And so she helps me out a little bit, does a background check for me.
[00:13:21] Speaker B: Good background checks. Not that it helped in my case, because Dick didn't have anything in his background, but, you know, he was really good at hiding everything. So it doesn't clear everybody, but I will say Dick was not a serial.
[00:13:33] Speaker A: Killer yet, just an idiot.
You filed the paperwork and everything, but you did not press charges?
[00:13:41] Speaker C: I couldn't. Just because they didn't have enough information.
That's right.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: Okay, so what happened after that?
[00:13:47] Speaker C: So about three weeks later, the police called, like, hey, just following up. You don't have any more issues with the guy? And he still randomly texted me, just like, hey.
Just randomly. To see how I'm at. Like, How I'm doing. Never respond.
[00:13:59] Speaker A: Currently.
[00:14:00] Speaker C: Currently, three months later, this guy is probably texting me every other week. Not anything threatening, just texting.
[00:14:07] Speaker B: So weird.
[00:14:08] Speaker C: Mm.
[00:14:09] Speaker B: I don't like it.
[00:14:11] Speaker C: I don't either.
[00:14:15] Speaker B: Is there, like, you haven't blocked him?
[00:14:19] Speaker C: No. If I block him, it deletes all of the information from those text messages and stuff like that.
[00:14:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, that makes sense, but I think that's good for the listeners to know. Like, that's gonna be something people are gonna say, like, why didn't you block him? Well, I can't, because I need to be able to keep all this stuff just in case.
[00:14:34] Speaker C: Also, during that process, I learned that Alabama is one of the only few that can do harassment via phone. There are other states that can't do that, even if it's a call, a text message. They threaten you over a phone call. They cannot follow police support over threatening messages.
[00:14:48] Speaker B: I'm surprised you can in Alabama, honestly. I'm not gonna lie.
We're a little behind on some things down here, so I'm kind of surprised we can. We can do that. But that's good. I'm glad that that's option for us. So it has to be, like, intimidation, like, threatening, Like, I'm trying to.
[00:15:07] Speaker C: Harassment can also be multiple phone calls back to back. Like, it doesn't just have to be harassment or, you know, threatening. It's just too many phone calls, too many text messages.
[00:15:15] Speaker B: This is why I don't talk to Dick.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: That's why I block everybody, including Goatman.
[00:15:22] Speaker B: Fair. What other stories do you have? Because I know you got some on that spreadsheet.
[00:15:26] Speaker C: Oh, yeah, of course I do. Let's see. Who do you want to listen to? I have. I'll give you the nicknames for them.
[00:15:32] Speaker A: It's color coded. Like, I appreciate that so much.
It's very detailed.
[00:15:38] Speaker C: Yes.
So I have nicknamed Trauma Boy. He was super fun.
Side hug. Side Hug is a great one.
[00:15:46] Speaker B: Okay, let's. Let's. Let's start with those two. We'll keep going, but let's start with. Let's start with side hug, and then we'll go into Trauma Boy.
[00:15:53] Speaker C: Okay, so Side Hug. This guy is 40, originally from Mississippi, has two kids, moved up here to help with his dad. Previously a paramedic. Wasn't working when I started talking to him, so we talked for about a week, and then we made plans to go out on a date. He picked the restaurant. Lost Pizza Company. Never been there. Have y' all ever been? Okay, so it's one of Those places where you have to, like, step up to a counter, order, and then you go sit down. They bring you food. So he gets there, like, five minutes before me, says, hey, I grabbed us a table.
Sounds good. So I get in there. He sees me. He, like, takes me up to the counter, tells me, okay, you go ahead and order. I'm gonna go sit back down. I've already ordered. I'm like, this is a date. I expected you to pay for the meal.
[00:16:32] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:16:33] Speaker C: Yep. I'm also like, first date men should always pay after that. I mean, 50. 50. That's fine. Like, I get it. But you're making a first impression, so you should be paying for the meal. So strike one for this man.
So still going on the date? I sit down, we have a conversation. It's okay. Like, we're talking about movies. That's pretty much all we talk about is movies.
[00:16:52] Speaker A: What kind?
[00:16:54] Speaker C: All kinds. I love scary movies. He's into scary movies. We're, like, talking about our favorites. We ended up playing, like, a little game where I would give him hints which movies I liked. Like, what were my top three? And he was trying to guess them. Did not guess any of them.
And they're, like, really famous. They're not just, like, you know, background. No, they were.
[00:17:13] Speaker B: We're talking, like, Halloween.
[00:17:15] Speaker C: Yeah. And then the table beside us was also in on it. They're getting in on the game that we're playing, and they're, like, answering, and he's just.
[00:17:23] Speaker A: That's fun.
[00:17:24] Speaker B: It was.
[00:17:24] Speaker C: It was really fun. Like, we made friends that way.
So then after the date or after dinner, we are gonna go see a movie. We went to go see Nosferatu. So I'm thinking he's gonna walk me to my car. It's dark.
No, he, like, goes straight to his truck and says, okay, I'll see you there.
[00:17:39] Speaker A: Lauren, this sounds like the one you went on a date with not too long ago.
[00:17:42] Speaker B: Yeah. He's not a day trader, quote, unquote.
[00:17:45] Speaker C: No.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: He has a brother.
[00:17:48] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:17:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:17:49] Speaker B: I don't know what it is about guys that are just like, okay, well, it's dark out. Good luck.
[00:17:52] Speaker C: Yeah. For real. I'm like. He was right in front of the door. I'm like, halfway down the parking lot. I'm gonna walk pretty far. Doesn't wait for me to get in my car. Nothing.
[00:18:00] Speaker A: Run fast.
[00:18:01] Speaker C: I'm like, okay, strike two. You don't have to open the door for me, but at least wait till I get to my car.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: Right.
[00:18:07] Speaker C: Well, we go to the theater. He buys himself popcorn and a drink.
I'm like, okay, cool. Yeah.
[00:18:14] Speaker A: Did you have to buy your own ticket too?
[00:18:15] Speaker C: No, he did buy that, but he.
[00:18:17] Speaker A: Didn'T buy your popcorn.
[00:18:18] Speaker C: Nope. Didn't even offer.
[00:18:19] Speaker B: I mean, good Lord. When I caught Dick on the date, he was at least buying her popcorn and sodas. And I saw. I saw Nosferatu in theaters with Dick because it was after supposedly he broke up with her, which I don't think that's what happened, but. And then it was before I found out about the 20 plus other women, so I was still like, you know, I love you and Bulbul.
So I was trying to, like, hang out with him some, and just like. I don't know. I don't know why. And then we went to that movie, and he even bought my stuff better than this guy. Well, that's sad. That's sad that, like, even. Even Dick knows to buy somebody some food.
[00:18:55] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. But we go to the movie. We're in the movie, and he's, like, holding my hand, puts his arm around me. So I'm like, okay, this is getting better. We're getting there.
Movie ends and doesn't walk me to my car. I parked two spots down from him. He walks, stops right in front of his truck, gives me a side hug, and then does finger guns and says, see you next time.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: Are you serious?
[00:19:18] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:18] Speaker A: Finger guns.
[00:19:19] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: I would have given my finger gun.
Would have been the same kind.
[00:19:25] Speaker C: Yep. So then it gets better.
So the date is over a week later, hasn't heard from this man. Suddenly he says, hey, I watched that movie that you recommended. What's your next recommendation? There's no, like, hey, how are you? Been thinking about you. Like, no. Warm up to that question. Just like, bam, my favorite movie is off, buddy.
[00:19:48] Speaker B: Ask if you got home safe.
[00:19:49] Speaker C: Nope.
[00:19:49] Speaker B: Oh, okay. So like, just finger guns and then ghosting for a week.
[00:19:53] Speaker C: Yeah. Yep. So that was super fun.
[00:19:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. That sounds like a great guy. So I'm guessing you just, like, done with that.
[00:20:00] Speaker C: I politely said, hey, I don't think you're into this. I'm gonna move on now.
[00:20:04] Speaker B: You're so nice.
[00:20:05] Speaker A: You're so much nicer than us.
[00:20:07] Speaker B: Yeah, I just.
[00:20:08] Speaker C: I don't like to be ghosted, so I'm not gonna ghost people.
[00:20:10] Speaker B: I won't ghost you, but I'm gonna straight up tell you what you need to be doing. And we went wrong. Because I'm just. I'm so tired of men thinking they could treat us like this, that I'm just, like, no. Like, I had a guy complain that he can't get second dates, and he didn't pay for my meal. And I was like, that's why you can't get second dates, buddy. Yeah, I was like, you can't. You were in the South.
[00:20:27] Speaker A: Sir made you split the meal.
[00:20:29] Speaker B: Well, he also made me split the meal.
[00:20:31] Speaker C: That was weird.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: Eating it. Split it?
[00:20:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:33] Speaker C: What?
[00:20:34] Speaker B: Yeah, it was weird.
But I'm like, standards. And, you know, I hear a lot of guys complain. I'm sure you see this too. Like on the, on the apps. It'll be like, I just want to find a girl who actually talks back. And I'm like, you guys don't talk. I don't. Like, I'll ask questions and then they answer them, but then they don't ask us questions.
[00:20:53] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:20:53] Speaker B: So then the conversation dies. Because I'm not gonna sit here and beg you to ask me questions about myself. And if you're so self absorbed and self centered that all you care is that me getting to know you, then I don't want you anyway.
[00:21:04] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: And I feel like that's most of the guys.
[00:21:06] Speaker C: Yeah. They don't put in effort.
[00:21:09] Speaker B: No.
[00:21:09] Speaker C: One of the guys I was talking to in dating, we went pretty far. We were two and a half months in, and I'm like, I get that you're busy, you have stuff going on at home, you have stuff going on at work, you're traveling, but you need to make time for me. I don't want to feel like I'm coming in second every single time when we're not together. When we're together, everything was great. When we're apart, not so great. So I started asking, like, hey, spend more time with me. I don't want to see you. Just once a week. You can come over, we'll go for a walk, we'll watch like an hour long TV show, or we'll have dinner. I'm not asking for your entire life.
I'm just asking for more time. And it just didn't happen. He literally said, I just can't give you any more time.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: Probably because he had 10 others he was splitting his time up with.
[00:21:52] Speaker C: He didn't seem like that type of guy. He seemed very nice, very sweet.
[00:21:56] Speaker B: Yeah, see, we're very jaded at this point. Yeah. I mean, Dick's sweet dick will sweep you off your damn feet.
But he was married and you didn't know he was married.
[00:22:05] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:22:05] Speaker B: And he was also dating the other girl and then talking to like 20 others. So it's Just, they, they're so good at lying that you just can't know today. And so that's part of it too, is I'm just like, if they're not giving you time or they're only talking at certain times a day or whatever it is, then I'm like, no, like, this is.
[00:22:25] Speaker C: Yeah, it's too much. Yeah.
[00:22:27] Speaker B: Like.
[00:22:31] Speaker A: I've been married three times, so I'm just kind of, you know, I'm. I'm numb, but I'm.
[00:22:37] Speaker B: Yeah, that's fair.
[00:22:38] Speaker C: I'm like, I haven't been married. I've been engaged once, but that's.
[00:22:42] Speaker B: It.
[00:22:42] Speaker A: Avoided your first several divorces. So good for me.
[00:22:45] Speaker C: That's what I've been told. That's what I've been told.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: What happened with the engagement, if you don't mind me asking?
[00:22:50] Speaker C: So we did. Instead of buying an engagement ring, we bought a house together. And I think that was just our downfall. We put all of our time and effort into the house for the first, like six months. And during that time he got a promotion at work, spending longer hours. We just kind of got into a habit of like putting everything else on the back burner. And by the time we realized we're not putting time and energy into ourselves, and I started asking for very basic things. Take me on a date, let's go to dinner. Let's just go and spend time away from the house with each other. It was too much for him. When we broke up, he said I was no longer worth the effort.
[00:23:23] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:23:24] Speaker C: Yeah. Because I was asking for basic things.
[00:23:26] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:23:27] Speaker B: Telling somebody you're engaged to that they're not worth the effort. And it's the basic, like, bare minimum here. Bare minimum. We're asking for dates, we're asking for time.
Literally the bare minimum. Like these, like a lot of people today just don't want to give the bare minimum.
[00:23:41] Speaker C: Yeah. So our, like, last six months, we hadn't had any kind of bedroom time, Nothing. So our last date together, I had asked, I think it was on a Wednesday, hey, take me out on Friday. I know where I want to eat. That's half the bag. We don't have to worry about it. He's like, well, maybe I can make that happen.
So Friday I was like, that, that's not gonna happen. You're taking me out. So by the time he got home, I was in a dress, heels, hair done, makeup done, good to go. He's like, well, can I just take like a 30 minute nap?
I'm like, it's 6:30, like no, just go get ready. Let's go out to eat dinner. And then, so we're out, we're waiting in our car.
Like, 30 minute wait. He ends up falling asleep. So we get to dinner and I.
I'm doing all the heavy lifting, all the conversation. He's just sitting there nodding his head, whatever. So I give him the option. I was like, okay, we can either go out for a beer at a bar, one drink. I just want you to show me off while I'm dressed up, or I can take you home and I can get on my knees for you.
Guess what?
[00:24:39] Speaker B: He chose the beer.
[00:24:41] Speaker C: Nope.
He decided for me to take him home so he can go to bed and then let me go out by myself.
[00:24:48] Speaker B: Wow.
[00:24:49] Speaker C: That's when I knew our relationship was over.
[00:24:50] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, for sure. I'm so sorry.
[00:24:52] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: Like, so disrespectful.
[00:24:54] Speaker A: So did you end it after that or did he end it?
[00:24:57] Speaker C: We tried to work it out for the next, like, month and a half.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: You're a good woman. My God, you're a good woman.
[00:25:02] Speaker C: And then I think during that month and a half, like, I was mourning our relationship already. And then by the time we ended it, because it was mutually like, ending, he's the one that ended up crying and I had to console him.
[00:25:16] Speaker A: And that's typically how it goes. Like, I've always heard that women, like, within, like, the last six months of a relationship, that's when we start to realize, like, hey, it's not working out, but we still want to put in a little bit of effort, but we begin to, like, detach ourselves from that person that way. By the time, you know, we break up or whatever, it's not as hard. But men don't do that. It's the very last straw. And then they begin to grieve.
[00:25:40] Speaker B: A lot of times they don't even grieve because they just move right to the next one. And then down the road, when they're actually alone, when the first person doesn't work out or it's just not, they have no one in their bed because they haven't. They're lonely. They're lonely. They haven't figured out how to just be alone like we do. Then they come back around.
[00:26:01] Speaker A: They breadcrumb. They're good at breadcrumbing. So what was the trauma?
[00:26:05] Speaker B: Boy?
[00:26:05] Speaker C: Trauma boy. So we didn't get to go on a date with them, but we were almost there. So we had been talking probably two or three weeks before we had set a date because it was at the end of December, holidays going on, him traveling, me traveling, things like that. So I end up going to dinner the Friday before our date was set with a friend. People can have opposite sex friends, platonic, whatever. This man, trauma boy did not like that. I'm going to dinner with a friend in public. Nothing's going to happen. We're just going out to eat dinner.
He's like, well, I just don't want you to do that. I don't think that's fair. I don't think it's right.
[00:26:41] Speaker B: But you guys haven't been on a date yet.
[00:26:42] Speaker C: Nope.
Right. Well, I tell him I'm gonna do it anyway. We can cancel our date. That's what he wants. He ends up canceling two hours later. He's like, you know what? I was unfair to you. Let's keep our date. So we're talking on a Friday. So I go out to eat dinner, come back. I'm back by like 7:30. And so we're talking. It's like 8:00. I'm like doing stuff around my apartment. I'm cleaning. I decided like, I'm gonna take a break and like, eat some ice cream. I'm just like talking out loud. And he's like, so did your friend come home with you? I was like, nope, it's just me in my apartment. He's like, well, who are you talking to? I was like, to you, to the.
[00:27:17] Speaker A: Wall, to whoever will listen.
[00:27:21] Speaker C: I'm like, it's just talking to talk, you know?
So I'm like, okay, that's a little weird. So then I have a chinchilla. So we get out for.
[00:27:31] Speaker A: You should have brought it with you.
[00:27:33] Speaker C: I'm sorry, I didn't. I'll have to do that next time.
So I get my chinchilla out for play time. And so my chinchilla is very much an.
[00:27:44] Speaker A: What color is it?
[00:27:45] Speaker C: It's like a dark gray.
He likes to chew on the baseboards of my apartment. So I have to get on to him constantly.
So again, I'm on the phone with trauma boy and I am getting onto my chinchilla. And like, I'm talking to my chinchilla. And he's like, so are you sure your friend didn't come home with you? I'm like, yes, I'm the only one in my apartment. I'm talking to my chinchilla. His name is Crispy. Like I say Crispy.
[00:28:10] Speaker B: Yeah. There's a guy named Crispy in your house.
[00:28:12] Speaker C: I know, I know. So this goes on like we're talking for, like, 30 minutes. And so then I'm like, can I put you on, like, mute for, like, two minutes? And he immediately just, like, says, nope, and hangs up on me. I just had to use the bathroom. I didn't want him to hear me use the bathroom.
So then he calls me back five minutes later. He's like, so why'd you have to put me on mute? I tell him I just had to use the bathroom, and he's like, oh, that's a good reason.
I'm like, you think?
[00:28:36] Speaker B: So he's jumping all kinds of conclusions. Yeah.
[00:28:38] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:28:39] Speaker A: Not that you had to explain anything to this man. I know you were nice enough to.
[00:28:43] Speaker B: Because, again, you have not been out with this man. You're not boyfriend and girlfriend. This is just a guy who you have not even been on a first date with, and he's already being this crazy and controlling.
[00:28:51] Speaker C: Yep.
[00:28:52] Speaker A: And she had to pee.
[00:28:53] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:28:54] Speaker B: How dare you.
[00:28:55] Speaker A: I know you ever pee again.
[00:28:58] Speaker C: So I'm still talking to him, and I've already gotten the vibe, like, I'm over this. So I'm trying to figure out, how do I say I don't want to go on this date anymore?
Well, finally, I'm still having playtime with Crispy. I get on to Crispy, and like, hey, it's time to be put away. And the guy's just like, yeah, I'm going to cancel our date. I'm done with this. Great. Thank you so much for canceling that. I didn't have to.
[00:29:17] Speaker B: Thanks for not wasting any more of my time. Yeah, me and Crispy are going to be just fine without you.
[00:29:21] Speaker C: Exactly.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: Crispy can't talk back. That's why I like my dog.
[00:29:24] Speaker C: Yeah. Well, Crispy barks.
[00:29:26] Speaker B: Oh, well, that's cute, though.
[00:29:28] Speaker C: When you bark, it's not cute.
True that.
[00:29:31] Speaker B: Yeah, I really want to meet Crispy.
I watch it.
[00:29:35] Speaker A: Where do you live?
[00:29:37] Speaker C: Y' all are more than welcome to come over.
[00:29:40] Speaker B: Oh, man.
[00:29:41] Speaker C: That's just a taste of, like, what I've had to deal with, not including, like, the guys on different apps that things like don't even get off the app. If I don't get off the app, I don't put them on here.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:29:50] Speaker C: So they have to get that far.
[00:29:51] Speaker B: They have to get off the app.
[00:29:52] Speaker C: Like, they have to have your phone number or Snapchat. Okay, yeah, that's.
[00:29:56] Speaker B: And you. So we hate Snapchat, but also, I'm pretty sure we're probably older than you, but I hate Snapchat because for guys, a lot of times they use it because they want naked pictures, and so that's the first thing they want. Or they're pedophiles or they're cheating.
[00:30:12] Speaker C: True that.
[00:30:13] Speaker B: Or they're cheating. So, like, there's not a. I feel like women, we're always like, oh, we like to take photos of random stuff. You send it to your friends. Different stuff. I feel like men don't do that with their guy friends.
[00:30:24] Speaker C: No.
[00:30:24] Speaker B: Unless they're sending women pictures to their guy friends. So a lot of times I just feel like the reasons they're on things, like Snapchat is for, like, nefarious reasons.
[00:30:34] Speaker C: I get it. It's just easy for me. I already have it. I don't want to have to download another app. And, like.
[00:30:38] Speaker A: Well, and it keeps you safe compared to someone who had your phone number. And we'll look up everything about you. Yeah, yeah, I get that.
[00:30:45] Speaker B: And, yeah. And I think for women, that makes sense. But, like, for me, if a guy's like, I have Snapchat. I'm like, block immediately.
[00:30:52] Speaker A: I'm like, I blocked three this morning for that reason.
[00:30:56] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm not doing it. But it does make sense, like, for that reason, so. And it's sad that, again, that we even have to do this.
[00:31:04] Speaker C: I know.
[00:31:05] Speaker B: I dare somebody to try to come up in my house. It won't end well for them.
[00:31:08] Speaker C: I'm glad he couldn't get my current address because I was too new. I'd only moved in, like, in October, so it wasn't completely attached yet.
[00:31:15] Speaker A: You call us next time.
[00:31:16] Speaker C: Absolutely.
[00:31:17] Speaker A: We'll be there in five minutes.
[00:31:19] Speaker B: We can do finger guns.
[00:31:22] Speaker C: Nice.
I will say I have figured out who our courtesy officer is in my apartment complex and the apartment complex across the street.
[00:31:31] Speaker A: Do you have any wasps?
[00:31:33] Speaker C: I'm sure I can find some.
[00:31:35] Speaker A: Well, it shoots up to 20ft, so you can get in before he even gets to the door.
[00:31:38] Speaker C: Nice. Just, you know, good to know.
[00:31:41] Speaker A: Tip to the ladies. Wasp spray.
[00:31:44] Speaker B: They are kind of like wasps. They're really annoying.
[00:31:47] Speaker A: They sting.
[00:31:49] Speaker B: Yeah. So it makes sense that we could use it for them.
Do you have any other, like, crazy ones off the top of your head from this?
[00:31:58] Speaker C: How about a good date? I can tell you about a good date instead of a bad one.
[00:32:00] Speaker B: Yeah, sure.
[00:32:01] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:32:02] Speaker B: We'll end on some hope.
[00:32:04] Speaker A: Not completely dark.
[00:32:06] Speaker C: So this nickname is Pottery Guy.
[00:32:08] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:32:09] Speaker C: So our second date, he took me to Color Me Mine and we painted some pottery. He paid for it, took me out to eat dinner. Paid for it, walked around. Very nice. Easygoing date.
He seems a little too nice though, if that makes sense.
So I don't know how much longer he'll last.
[00:32:27] Speaker A: I will not ask my question. But yes, we fully understand that.
[00:32:31] Speaker B: Yeah, that's unfortunate.
[00:32:32] Speaker C: I know. I know.
[00:32:34] Speaker B: All the good ones are.
[00:32:35] Speaker A: There's one I found and he actually breeds Chihuahuas.
[00:32:39] Speaker C: Oh.
[00:32:40] Speaker A: Do you know how bad I want a Chihuahua?
A long haired applehead Chihuahua. I want one so bad. But I'm pretty sure I'm not his type.
But I've tried because I love Chihuahuas.
[00:32:51] Speaker B: I don't think Lucy wants an apple biter.
[00:32:53] Speaker A: Well, she. She had a brother once before he was a beagle, but obviously that went down the drain, so.
[00:33:00] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:00] Speaker A: But yeah, she. She likes being an only child right now. Yeah, I would love a Chihuahua.
[00:33:05] Speaker B: Yeah, that's always unfortunate.
That's why lavender marriages are getting popular, ladies and gentlemen. Lavender marriages.
For that reason. Because that's where the good ones are.
Oh, Lord.
Well, it was great chatting with you. Would love to have you back on at some point. If you get any crazy stories, let us know. But we will talk to you guys next time.
[00:33:30] Speaker A: See you next time, Sam.
