Episode Transcript
[00:00:12] Bree: Welcome back to Spill the Tea HSV.
[00:00:14] Lauren: With Lauren and Bree.
This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances, contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 256-801-1000 or visit them online at www.alabamalaw.com. when your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
[00:00:47] Bree: Today we have Teresa Williams, licensed professional counselor, here with us. Welcome, Theresa, how are you?
[00:00:52] Theresa: Well, thank you so much. Glad to be back with you guys. So this is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute a therapist client patient relationship. If you need mental health services, I might know somebody. If you're in crisis, please hang up this podcast, call 91 1, go to your local emergency room. So.
[00:01:18] Lauren: So in today's episode, we're gonna talk about anger. Cause that was something we touched on a little bit last time in our episode with you. And I know personally, I've dealt with a lot, a lot of anger with everything that I've been dealing with and still deal with it to this day. So what can we do about that? What can we do about anger?
[00:01:39] Theresa: Well, first of all, anger is a normal response to hurt and pain.
And so a lot of times women will get the sentence, well, you need to stop being angry.
Yeah. Or you're overreacting. Right. And that's not true. So it's kind of like we talked about the last time, you know, emotions. And anger is one of them as like an indicator in your car when you see the fuel light come on or a check engine light, you know, there's something to be dealt with. Right. Well, anger is the same way. It's what we do with it.
[00:02:17] Bree: So what are some of the healthy coping mechanisms that people can use whenever they're dealing with situations that, you know, make them extremely angry? Because, you know, Lauren and I have been through a lot of crap. And so it's, it's really easy to get really angry really quickly.
[00:02:33] Theresa: Sure. And, you know, again, it's what you do with the anger. You know, there's all kinds of ways to deal with it. One is suppress it. Right. And it's going to come out and it's not just going to sit there because as the old saying goes, the body keeps score. Right. So what do we do with it? Well, can we talk about before we get into the healthy expressions and what to do with it? How about some unhealthy expressions? Not that I would have any experience with that whatsoever? Never. Right.
So if you look at what we typically think as anger unhealthy is over the top, Right? Well, what does that look like? If somebody's been betrayed, they're gonna be yelling, screaming, cussing.
[00:03:23] Lauren: Oh, so my response was normal?
[00:03:25] Theresa: Yes. Could be.
[00:03:28] Lauren: Yeah, it was. See, you're crazy. I'm like, am I? Because I just found out you've been having an affair. So. And even then when I caught him in person, I did. That's not when I lost it. I lost it afterwards when he came to get his stuff and he was just being a dick because, well, he's dick. So we.
But I was like, you know, I was so mad because I was just like, how dare you lie blatantly to my face whenever I asked you if you were having an affair and then just find out later that there were 20 plus, like, oh my God, the amount of anger I have towards that man still to this day, Like, I don't.
Everybody's like, just let it go. I'm like, how do you let something that affected you emotionally, physically and financially go that easily? Like, you can't.
[00:04:16] Theresa: No, you can't. And just to have that blatant statement or blanket statement to say let it go, well, that's a hurt and that's a pain. And I know we're going to talk about in another episode forgiveness, which really ties into that, but you have to process through it and you have to figure out the healthy way to deal with it. So we're talking about unhealthy. Well, I wouldn't recommend that you take a ball bat to him, even though you want to.
[00:04:45] Bree: Damn.
[00:04:46] Theresa: I know.
So, you know, I mean, you know.
[00:04:50] Lauren: I've got a ball bat to the motorcycle.
[00:04:52] Theresa: No, probably not.
You know, I had visions of with when my ex had his affair, was chopping them up in little pieces and feeding them to the shark and eating popcorn and watching the whole thing and enjoying every moment of it.
Now, full disclosure, I never acted on that. So that's good.
[00:05:17] Bree: Thank you for letting us know.
[00:05:18] Theresa: Yes. You know, another unhealthy way would be, let's see, taking out a full page ad on a billboard going on 565 and saying what a sob, you know, he is. And maybe putting a picture of, you know, the little almost said a bad word there of who we had affair with. That, that, that would not be helpful either.
[00:05:44] Lauren: Put up a picture of Dick.
[00:05:45] Bree: I wonder where that idea came from.
[00:05:46] Lauren: But I wonder, but I wonder what if you put up Something like, I don't know, a billboard promoting your podcast that also happens to be about Dick.
[00:05:59] Theresa: Well, it is about him, but it's more than just him. It's a business advertisement with a really.
[00:06:06] Lauren: Good picture of me. So, sorry, look what you're missing.
[00:06:09] Theresa: Oh. One of the things that. I know we're all joking here, but you don't want to do anything that's going to harm yourself or someone else. And in the moment. So you know that rage, right?
And that's when you know you're out of control. And you'll see on the news that somebody has shot and killed somebody out of. In anger. And they don't remember it, right? Well, they don't remember it because when you get to that point, your blood flow is way up here. And I'm sorry, I keep forgetting I'm pointing. You guys can't see me. Anyhow, you're. You're completely flooded. What we call in our word, flooded. And you're not going to be able to control.
Control yourself.
[00:06:52] Lauren: Yeah, it gets really, really hard.
[00:06:54] Theresa: So this is in the early stages, and of course, it's coming from being very fresh, this happening. It's. You know, if we look at it, it's like when we cut ourselves, right? Even a small little paper cut. Okay, I can be a big baby about that. But it hurts, right? And it's going to hurt until it heals. And if we have to have stitches or we have to have surgery, that's even a longer haul. So think about anger in those terms. So we don't want to act out in our anger, Okay? I know we do. We've all made mistakes, right?
We've said and done things that we wish we hadn't. And that's what I really tell a lot of my patients right now. You really want to do those things to him. But way down the road, you're going to wish you had enough. So. So that's what you got to keep in mind. You want to be true to who you are, even though it's clouded right now. So going back to your question, what can we do in a healthy manner? All right, take you a wiffle ball, bat out to the tree, put you a picture up of them and just beat the tree.
[00:08:04] Lauren: There was a. I saw something the other day, too, where there's, you know those axe throwing places?
There's one where you can project a picture of your ex on there and throw the ax at it. And I was like, that's genius marketing. Like, genius marketing. Because again, right. It solves that problem. And also rage rooms. Oh, yes, rage rooms are great. They are highly recommend.
[00:08:26] Theresa: So healthy ways is exercise, which is something that you and I have talked about.
Get in a regular exercise routine, whatever that is, whatever that looks like, do it consistently because that does really help lower the cortisol levels and the stress levels that you have. So you want to find other ways to be able to deal with it. Okay, so call a friend, Bitch to a friend. Call them whatever name you want to call them, whatever.
Also journaling. Now, I'm not going to recommend your typical journaling because to me, I could take the book and throw it across the room, but I want to recommend something different.
So when I talk about journaling, I'm really talking about taking a journal, two blank pages, and you're just going to write. You're not going to worry about punctuation, you're not going to worry about grammar, you're not going to erase, you're not going to correct. And you're just going to free, free flow. And you can call him any name you want to. You can just write, write, write, write, write. And then when you get through with those two pages, you're going to turn them over so that what you're looking at is a blank page. And you're not going to go read it again.
The next morning you're going to get up and you're going to do the same thing. Because what is stuck in you has got to come out some way. And it has scientific evidence that when you journal that way, you will get some of that out.
[00:09:57] Bree: That sounds a lot like something I read several years ago. It was along the same lines of journaling. Like you take a sheet or two, you write everything on it, and then at the end of it, you actually burn the piece of paper. And like, that's supposed to like be your release of like, it's over now, it's gone, it's done and I can start it, you know, start a new page.
[00:10:14] Theresa: Yeah, I've heard people do that.
I have a lot of people who do that journaling and want to go, well, I want to go back and read it. No, that's not, that's not the purpose.
Other ways is grounding. That's a term that use a lot in therapy. So let me explain it. So it could be as simple as taking your shoes off and go walking around in the grass. And that right there in nature really changes your focus.
[00:10:42] Bree: I've seen a lot of that on social media and I, I've heard of it. But what all does it involve? Like grounding, like just walking around barefooted outside.
[00:10:50] Theresa: What.
[00:10:51] Bree: What are the different, like, techniques of it?
[00:10:53] Theresa: Okay, so that's one. So basically another one, if you were talking to Lauren on the phone and she's off the charts, she's ready to take the bat. Never. Never. I've never seen that side of her take the ball bat to the motorcycle. You know she happened to see him at.
Yeah. In Publix. And you're going to talk her off the ledge. One of the things that you might do is say, hey, Lauren, tell me five things that you see in your room that's blue and you're going to make her name them. You could also say, rub your hands together. Tell me what that feels like. So you want to do the five senses. Go take a drink of your coffee or your sonic drink. What's that taste like? Tell me what that is.
[00:11:36] Lauren: Cherry limeade. Thanks, Breee.
[00:11:38] Theresa: Oh, she's so sweet.
So, you know, also a scented candle.
Tell me what that's. What's that smell like? And. And I've even had patients where I'll hand them a candle and say, tell me the different notes in that candle. What do you smell? And then I'll make them touch the candle. And I know that sounds weird. And even that the wick of the candle will feel differently than the candle itself. And also structure like a ball. Like we have all have pets. Right? Well, you've seen those spiky little balls, right? It can even be this. I'm holding up a pillow. The texture of the pillow. What does that feel like? What did. How is that different than the back of the couch? And explain it. So what that does, it changes your focus and it's gonna again, it's gonna Breeng you down.
[00:12:30] Lauren: That's really smart. And I will say, as far as taking off your shoes and walking, that works. Like, I've done that. I've done that a lot. And I. There's something about my. Like your feet just being in grass.
[00:12:42] Theresa: Yes.
[00:12:42] Lauren: That just like Breengs you a new level of just like peace or something. I don't know there. It's like. It's legit though. I get it. I get why people want to walk around barefoot.
[00:12:51] Theresa: Well, yeah, because it's texture as well.
[00:12:53] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:12:53] Bree: So if anybody sees us walking around barefoot, we're probably angry. So just let us walk in the grass barefoot and touch things. Okay.
[00:13:00] Theresa: Just don't.
[00:13:01] Lauren: Don't come near us.
[00:13:01] Bree: Yeah.
[00:13:02] Theresa: Right.
Just pray for them.
[00:13:04] Lauren: Right.
[00:13:05] Theresa: So another thing that also you can do is Now I'm going to laugh at this one. Is. Have you a playlist, but you want to have soothing, calming music, whatever that is. I know where you're going. I know where you're going, Lauren. I can see it already.
[00:13:20] Lauren: So I have a playlist that I made, and it's like. And it's called asshole.
[00:13:25] Theresa: Yeah, that's not really what I'm talking about.
[00:13:28] Lauren: And it's all the I hate you songs that I love. And so then when I'm really mad, I just play that, but then it makes me more mad.
[00:13:35] Theresa: Yeah, that. Nah.
So, you know, have either a playlist or a song.
Yes. Call me.
[00:13:45] Bree: I'll tell you. Take your shoes off.
[00:13:46] Theresa: Yeah, there you go. There you go.
So also, again, running your hands under cold water, you know, that's actually so.
[00:13:56] Bree: Like, I've had anxiety since I was a child, and so whenever I have, like, a really bad anxiety attack, I can actually dunk my face in, like, a bucket of cold ice water. And, like, it helps, like, ground, I guess.
[00:14:08] Theresa: So some other things that you want to do is you want to have that. What I call rescue kit. Okay. And so we've talked about some of them, right? Get you a textured ball pillow, something that's got different textures. Have you a scented candle, your favorite. Have a bag of coffee beans, something all your five senses. But also, don't forget, the most important is having a good friend that you can vent to, having a community of people that you can reach out to and say, hey, I am ready to chalk them up in little pieces, talk me off the ledge.
[00:14:49] Lauren: Yeah, that's by far one of the most important things, because I know Breee and I have definitely called each other on that. And then, you know, before I met Bree, I had my girls, and I would be texting them or calling them or be like, hey, I'm not okay today. Well, even as recently as me being in Miami, there was a time when I was in Miami where I was talking to Bree, and I was like, I'm not okay. Like, today, I'm not okay. And she sent me flowers and a sushi roll to my hotel room, and I was like, and that's why we're best friends, right?
[00:15:17] Theresa: There you go.
[00:15:18] Lauren: She knew exactly the way to my heart. And chocolate ice cream.
[00:15:21] Theresa: Wow. Okay. I'm gonna be calling her up in a little bit.
[00:15:27] Bree: I'm a foodie.
[00:15:28] Theresa: There you go.
So, you know, a couple other things that you also can do is pray. Pray, meditate. Because again, that right there, you know, as Far as I'm concerned, that's where we get our peace is from God and what he gives us.
So those are some things that you can do, but you don't want to isolate. So when I said that you have your little kit, you've got her, but you want to have what I call more than one on your Rolodex, that people probably don't know what a Rolodex is, but I do. Yeah. So you. If she's not available, you want to have a bunch of people.
[00:16:11] Lauren: Yeah.
[00:16:12] Theresa: That you can reach out to.
[00:16:13] Lauren: Yeah, for sure. But you better be available.
[00:16:16] Theresa: No pressure there.
[00:16:17] Bree: None whatsoever.
[00:16:20] Lauren: Yeah, No, I agree. Because. And I. And that's one area that I am super blessed in.
[00:16:26] Theresa: And.
[00:16:27] Lauren: And I think it's because I've always made sure I, like, cultivate my relationships.
And so. And that's. That's part of it, too, is like, a lot of people lose themselves in the relationships that they get in. So then they lose their friendships, and then if that relationship fails, they have no one to go to. So that's another, you know, reason to make sure that you're still taking care of those friendships when you're in a relationship. Because if you're in a relationship with somebody who doesn't want you to, then that's an issue.
[00:16:55] Theresa: Well, it is. Because even though you're in a relationship, whether you're dating, you're serious, or you're married, you need to have separate friends. You need to have things. Also hobbies and interests that you do not have with your significant other.
[00:17:10] Bree: Yep, absolutely.
[00:17:11] Lauren: Yeah. There was a girl that posted anonymously on Social Gals on Facebook, and she was like, am I crazy? Because I. I'm upset that my boyfriend's spending too much time with his friends.
And I'm like, well, where's that line? Because, like, you're right. Your boyfriend needs to have friends. She's like, well, I just want to be around him all the time. Like, I get to see him, you know, most evenings, but, like, sometimes I just feel like we're passing ships. And I'm like, there is a line there.
[00:17:37] Theresa: There is a line.
And I think it, you know, somebody says, well, I just want to be with them all the time. Well, that's infatuation. Let's call it what it is. Or lust, you know, come on here. Or codependent. So you got to have balance to be healthy. You have to. You have to have that balance.
[00:17:53] Bree: It reminds me of anxious attachment style, too.
[00:17:55] Theresa: Yes.
[00:17:55] Bree: Because I've been there, done that, and thank God. I'm hopefully on the way fully on the way out of it.
But yeah, that's. That's what it reminds me of.
[00:18:03] Theresa: So the other thing, give yourself a lot of grace and patience because you're, you know, I even dare say this for fear that somebody might throw in this room, throw something at me. But no, just teasing is you've got to get to the place where you can manage it. You do. And to make an excuse and say, well, look what they did to me. Well, true.
But you can't hold on to it forever and you can't use it as an excuse also to verbally vomit on another individual, no matter what the situation or strike out. And I mean verbally or physically.
[00:18:46] Lauren: Yeah, it's. Well, that's one of the reasons why the last time I saw him in person, I recorded it so that I could protect myself in case he said that I did anything.
Because I don't trust that he wouldn't try to be vindictive in that way. And I wanted it to be like, I mean, I also Bree was there, so she saw that I never like, raised my voice or yelled at him or anything. So as much as I wanted to, but I mean, again, ways that things you maybe shouldn't have done was like, you know, show up on a date. But maybe he should have remembered that he had already tried to date Bree once.
[00:19:17] Theresa: That's true. That is true.
[00:19:19] Lauren: But also, he wasn't paying me, so give me my money.
[00:19:23] Theresa: There you go.
So speaking of anger, give me my.
[00:19:27] Bree: Money, take your shoes, go stand in the damn grass.
[00:19:32] Lauren: I just, I think that's what it is. I'm not even mad about the affairs anymore. I'm mad about the money.
[00:19:37] Theresa: Yeah.
[00:19:37] Lauren: Because that financial burden that I was left with, I mean, it follows you for years. Like, it's not even just like a short term thing. This is like a years long thing. So that's part of what sucks. But then it's taking the steps, which I've, you know, I'm currently doing. Moving into a new place, trying to start your life over. Right place. And then, you know, doing what you got to do with court systems and everything else, right. So you got to take those steps to get there. You can't just sit here and wallow and be like, no angry, but do nothing about it. Like, you gotta do something, right.
[00:20:08] Theresa: You don't want to be a victim. You want to be a victor, as I call it. So it's your choice. And when I say be patient with yourself in the beginning, you're going to be as mad as hell. That's. That's normal.
But one of the things that you can do also is, you know, we talked about earlier about anger being emotion and indicator.
What is it that you need? You need to ask yourself, what is it is at the core that you really need down deep, and who do you need it from?
Now I know we're all going, well, I need it from that sob. No, usually we don't. It's usually something inside of us that we're not getting.
And what is that? And what are we going to do to take steps to get it ourselves, not looking to other people.
[00:20:57] Bree: So let me ask you this. In my last instance, I was angry for a very short period of time, and that sort of passed.
Is that normal?
[00:21:06] Theresa: When you say short period, what are we talking about? A couple days, Couple hours? Couple weeks?
[00:21:10] Bree: Like, that was as long as it lasted. And everybody around me is, like, pissed, including the one staring a hole in me right now sitting next to me.
[00:21:19] Theresa: Well, it depends. No, it's usually not. And I don't know your backstory, Bree, so. No, if there's been betrayal. No, it's. And again, just. I'm just talking generalities.
But something else that people do with anger, they suppress it and they don't deal with it. And the reason why they don't deal with it is lots of reasons. One, because we're told, oh, you shouldn't act that way. That's not Christlike.
You need to forgive him. But also, we don't know how to express it. We think there's only one way to express anger. Right. And there's multiple ways.
[00:22:00] Lauren: True.
[00:22:00] Theresa: But.
[00:22:00] Lauren: And that's the thing that's beautiful about this podcast, is that it's turned.
Our original idea has grown so much that we're to the point now where we have therapists coming on that could actually give actual helpful information. And it's not just me, Bre.
[00:22:15] Bree: Being like, we hate everybody.
[00:22:17] Lauren: We hate them.
And, like, attorneys coming on, and then, like, we're getting hooked up with, like, financial advisors and different stuff. That actually going to be useful stuff for even Bree and I. Yeah. So I think that's the great thing is it started from a very dark place, but it's grown into something that I know we both love. Yeah. And. And that's the beautiful thing about it. And it's been so great, like the networking and the. And the meeting everybody and being able to connect people with what they need.
[00:22:45] Theresa: Yeah. Because when somebody goes through Just say a betrayal. They were married. There's a lot of different layers when I work with women and men that you talked about. The financial is being able to look at. Some don't even know, like, their account number. They don't even know where the checking account, which bank it is. They don't know investments. So there's multiple layers, you know, that are involved that you need all of these different experts in.
[00:23:15] Lauren: It's hard too, because I know a lot of, like, stay at home moms, they deal with that a lot, you know, because the breadwinner pays all the money. I paid all the bills for us mainly because, like, I known for, known from his past that he wasn't good at paying bills because he had a lot in collections and I wasn't gonna leave my bills to that, but he had access to everything. So, like, he knew.
[00:23:35] Theresa: Yeah.
[00:23:35] Lauren: Where everything was. But that's one of the things like we've talked about with several people is like, make sure you know where your money is.
[00:23:44] Theresa: Well, not only your money, but you need to know how many accounts you have. A checking account, savings account. Are you on the accounts? First of all, do you have access to them? Do you know how much is in there? Do you see the statement every month? Credit cards, Are you on them? Does he have or she have credit cards that you don't know about? Do they have them without you being on there? What is the, the balance, investments, retirement? Are you the beneficiary? Do you know where those investments are?
How about also, something that doesn't get talked about is also, do you have a will? Do you have a living will? Do you have a medical power of attorney? Do you know if they do? I mean, honestly, you may not be the medical power of attorney, and if they're in an accident, it doesn't matter.
You're not going to be the one making medical decisions.
[00:24:42] Bree: Yeah, you may or may not get.
[00:24:43] Theresa: To pull that plug.
[00:24:44] Lauren: I might have to change my living will because I don't think he was in it anyway. But I, I can't put my mom as my medical like person because she won't pull the plug. Like, she won't do it. So I can't put her. I might. Maybe I'll do that.
[00:24:59] Bree: Don't put me.
[00:24:59] Lauren: Why not?
[00:25:00] Bree: I knew you were going there. Don't you put me on there.
[00:25:03] Lauren: Pull my plug, Bree. Damn it.
[00:25:06] Theresa: So, you know, you can make your wishes known. And, and, and you, you don't ever, if you ever walk, don't ever want to put your Family in that position without knowing what your wishes are.
[00:25:18] Lauren: Yeah, well, absolutely. I mean, it's smart for anybody to have.
[00:25:21] Bree: I know yours. You've already told me yours.
[00:25:22] Lauren: Like, yeah, it's smart for anybody to have any of your finances, your wills, everything, like, squared away. So. Yeah, I think that's something that's very important for you. For anyone.
[00:25:33] Theresa: Absolutely. It doesn't matter if you're 20 or you're 100. You need to have it.
[00:25:38] Lauren: She doesn't know any of my dad's stuff. My dad does bills, and I've told her a million times. I'm like, if dad passes, we're screwed.
[00:25:45] Theresa: Yeah.
[00:25:45] Lauren: Because I. You don't know anything. And so therefore, I don't know anything. So I've, like, told my dad. I was like, you need to write everything down and, like, put it in a folder somewhere.
[00:25:53] Theresa: Right.
[00:25:54] Lauren: So that I can have it and get access to everything. But also going back to having access to everything. Financial stuff, a lot of times is what we. That's how some people get caught. Trails and things. So I think that having full access to finances is a smart thing because then you would know if something's a little going a little awry and not looking. Right.
And then one of the questions we got asked on the Facebook group was, should we have access to phones and passwords and all those things? And I think those play hand in hand.
[00:26:22] Theresa: Like, yeah, Ken, I want to answer that, but can I add one more carve out that I think every person ought to do. If you're. Especially if you're. Whether you're in a relationship or you're not. But even more so if you are, every year you get a free credit report.
You ought to run that. If you are dating somebody and you're serious, you run. You ask them for a credit report because let's say that they've got a child. You didn't know about, that they're playing child support in Texas.
You need to. And they're behind on it. You need to know these things. And maybe they tell you they don't have any credit cards, and you pull up the credit report and they've got 20.
[00:27:02] Bree: So one of the questions is, when a woman makes more than the man, does it make him feel inferior? What are your thoughts on that?
[00:27:09] Theresa: It depends on the man. I mean, are. Do a lot of men have issues with that? Maybe, but some of them don't care. They, you know, it depends on the relationship and probably depends on how secure.
[00:27:23] Bree: They are within themselves as well.
[00:27:25] Theresa: Yeah, yeah, true.
They Shouldn't.
[00:27:28] Bree: So, and then this one we have sort of already touched on. Should couples share their passwords? Which.
[00:27:34] Theresa: Yes, obviously. So the, the tail end of that.
[00:27:37] Lauren: Question was, is that person hiding something? If they don't.
[00:27:42] Theresa: Well, let me, let me carve out this. Not necessarily, but maybe so. Depends on the age of the person. The older that you get. And we're in the bubble belt and in the south that, okay, I'm probably going to get hate mail for this, but you know, a lot of men feel like they can rule the roof and so therefore why should I have to share?
So do I think necessarily in that particular case that they're hiding something?
No, I don't. Do I think that it ought to be open?
Yes, I do. Because think about this. What is the basis of relationships? It's built on trust and vulnerability and transparency. Right.
So why would you not share your passwords? Why would you not allow your, your spouse to have access to your phone, tablet, you know, computer?
[00:28:41] Lauren: Right. Well, they love to use the excuse about privacy.
You know, well, that's my privacy. I'm like, but you're married. You're supposed to have everything together. Like there is no privacy.
[00:28:52] Theresa: Well, you gave up privacy the minute that you said I do. And, and I know that won't go over well, but here's the issue. And this, this wasn't a question, but it goes back into separate bank accounts and separate all this. So when you get married, are you a we or are you a you? You're supposed to be a we.
Right. So what's so private that you wouldn't share with your spouse?
[00:29:16] Lauren: I'm glad somebody asked us that on the Facebook page because I think that's something that's important to, to discuss and to know. And then just one more question, just for funsies. If your four legged child doesn't like your partner, is it a red flag?
[00:29:29] Theresa: Yes. Yes, it is.
[00:29:31] Bree: My unprofessional opinion.
[00:29:34] Theresa: Well, you know, not necessarily. Because those four legged animals can be, you know, Breebed to be liked. No, I'm just teasing.
They can.
[00:29:42] Bree: Lucy definitely can.
[00:29:43] Theresa: Yeah, no, you know, I've had people say that your four legged animals can sense whether you're a good person. Please, really? They're, they're an animal. Guys, come on here.
So, no, I don't.
[00:29:58] Lauren: Professionally. Professional opinion. No. Breee and Lauren's opinion.
[00:30:01] Theresa: Yes.
[00:30:04] Lauren: Here's my thing. I think it's more if you don't like my cats, if you don't like my babies.
[00:30:08] Theresa: There you go.
[00:30:09] Lauren: You gots to go.
[00:30:10] Bree: Well, they feed off of that tension. You know, we can tell if somebody doesn't like us. They can tell if somebody doesn't like.
[00:30:14] Theresa: Them, and that's true.
[00:30:15] Bree: If you don't like my dog, get the hell out of my house.
[00:30:17] Theresa: There you go.
[00:30:18] Bree: Gonna go take her shoes off and.
[00:30:19] Theresa: Walk in the grass. Yeah, there you go.
[00:30:21] Lauren: Instead of. Instead of taking a baseball bat to anything other than a tree.
[00:30:24] Bree: Good choice.
[00:30:25] Theresa: There you go.
All right.
[00:30:27] Lauren: Well, thank you, Teresa, and can't wait to talk to you next time about forgiveness.
[00:30:32] Theresa: Can't wait. Thank you so much.
[00:30:34] Lauren: Thank you.
[00:30:34] Bree: Thank you.
[00:30:43] Theresa: Sa.
