Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome back to Spill the Tea unfiltered. Hey, guys, it's another week and we got another story.
But first, have you seen this crazy stuff about Love is Blind?
[00:00:11] Speaker B: No.
What is. What is Love is Blind?
[00:00:15] Speaker A: So I know you've been in School World. So Love is Blind is like this reality TV show where they go into these pods. Men and women are in separate pods. They can't see each other. So the point of the experiment is that you're supposed to fall in love with the person and the personality. You talk through a wall, you can't see each other, and you propose.
Meeting.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: I like that.
[00:00:33] Speaker A: And then kind of the proposal's a little weird. Yeah.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: Can we start, like, a relationship?
[00:00:38] Speaker A: So, well, so they end up meeting and like, like a reveal after the proposal, they propose again in person. I'm sure that's just part of, like, production or whatever.
They go on a honeymoon. The ones that are popular enough.
[00:00:53] Speaker B: Right.
[00:00:54] Speaker A: Go on a honeymoon and then they end up, like, all living in, like, this apartment complex. They all move in together a lot of times, or they'll go, depending on the season. Sometimes they'll live, like, in their houses, like, whoever's house. So there's this one guy, Chris, and he.
He starts dating a doctor.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: A doctor?
[00:01:13] Speaker A: Yeah, like, she's a badass. Like, she's. Yeah, she's a straight up doctor.
He.
They went to, like, his place and it was kind of like Bachelor Patty and not like a lot, which, I mean, I feel like that's how a lot of guys tend to be.
[00:01:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:29] Speaker A: But then they went to her house, and her house looked like a mansion compared to his, and it was super nice. And I think he realized, like, he. He couldn't. Like, I think he was insecure. Yeah. About it also. Like, apparently she was talking about politics during everything and, like, saying, like, did you vote for Trump? And he said no. And apparently he lied. So, like, that's something you can't lie about. Like, if. If politics are very important to you and somebody. You know, a lot of times that goes down to, like, a moral issue. Some, like, things with people. So you can't just, like, be like, yeah, right, I didn't vote for him. And then it turns out that you did.
[00:02:05] Speaker B: Like, that's just be honest about it.
[00:02:07] Speaker A: Right.
So he dumped her while talking on a couch, telling her that she. They. They lacked physical chemistry, stating he prefers women who do Pilates every day.
[00:02:23] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: So let me show you.
[00:02:25] Speaker B: I want to see what he looks like. Hold on.
[00:02:27] Speaker A: What he looks like? So.
This is Him.
[00:02:35] Speaker B: Ew.
Why is he look.
Ew.
[00:02:39] Speaker A: So that's him.
Does he like girls, this guy? Like, like, if you don't know, like, that's what he looks like and whatever. But you're sitting there like, saying, like, that you like a woman who does Pilates every day. This is her. She's pretty, she's gorgeous, and looks like she does Pilates.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: You're right.
[00:02:58] Speaker A: She's gorgeous.
[00:02:59] Speaker B: She's definitely doing Pilates to me.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: Like, she's beautiful.
I'm just, like, shocked about it. Like, that. Literally, a quote that came out of the show is, in a normal world, I date somebody who does Pilates every day.
That's insane to me.
Like, while behavior. Her face says everything. Like, she's like, right, okay, I'm a doctor. Like, I'm like, I'm saving people's lives.
[00:03:29] Speaker B: What do you even mean?
[00:03:32] Speaker A: Crazy? So that's, like, been, like, the big thing that's been going around a lot. And, like. Like, we're a little bit behind on, like, posting. So you'll. This will come out, like, after everything. But that blew up because everybody was like, what? Like, he was talking about doing CrossFit stuff, and then he's not cut. Like, you would think a man who talks like that would look like the guys from Heated Rivalry Speaking.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Right?
[00:03:54] Speaker A: Heated Rivalry.
So good.
The Love Story. I know you haven't watched it yet, but it's so good. Like, this gay love story is, like, the sweetest thing.
So anybody who hasn't watched Heater Revelry should. Also the chef's Kiss. These men are beautiful.
And it makes sense why they're playing gay men.
But yeah, like, he's not even cut. Like, this guy isn't like, any crazy hot thing.
[00:04:26] Speaker B: Right?
[00:04:26] Speaker A: He's just a normal dude. Like, and then you're say, like, no, sir. You're doing this because you're insecure because she's a doctor who has. Makes her own money, is independent, and you can't stand understand that. That's why.
Just disgusting. Like, his whole personality in the entire show, like, ends up being disgusting because then he's, like, hitting on one of the girls. And then there's a girl in there who's, like, not on the show.
[00:04:48] Speaker B: He's hitting on another.
[00:04:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, in the bar after everything happens. And there's a girl in there who's not a girl's girl who was, like, talking trash about her about Jessica. I don't like, oh, it's gross. It's gross. I cannot stand a woman who's going to talk trash about another woman. Like, that stuff drives me nuts. Especially when you're trying to get a man. So you're trying to, like, bash another woman so that you can make yourself look good. Hoping, like, that's a choose me. And I don't do well with choose me girls.
I'm like, no, I don't.
That's gross. And you need to go look at your, like, moral compass because if women aren't going to support women, who is?
[00:05:23] Speaker B: Right.
[00:05:24] Speaker A: Yeah. Gross.
So anyway, so that was a wild week. So lots of things happening with, like, in the reality TV world. And then. Oh, because then you got robbed from Traders. Have you heard about this?
[00:05:37] Speaker B: No, I don't watch tv.
[00:05:38] Speaker A: I know you don't. You don't have time. Rob's from Florence. Oh. Like, he's from here and he's become like a heartthrob because. So he was on Love Island a year or two ago.
[00:05:48] Speaker B: Oh, really?
[00:05:48] Speaker A: Yeah. And he got, like, really popular from that.
Let me show you.
Oh, he said first Rob, when you Google now in Google. Oh, so he's a snake.
Like, he catches snakes and stuff. Like, that's like his whole, like, oh, thing. No, he's from Florence.
Is this not the most hilarious?
[00:06:12] Speaker B: I'm sure he does catch snakes.
I mean, I'm not going to even, like, the snake look really good.
[00:06:19] Speaker A: Right, right.
[00:06:20] Speaker B: He does make this.
[00:06:21] Speaker A: So he got obviously really popular on. On Love island. And then he.
He was pretty popular, like, with his socials and stuff. And obviously, like, when you're on a show like that, like, your socials blow up. Well, then he got invited to come on to Traders, which is another reality show. It's great, though. It's hilarious. Like, anybody who hasn't watched it, you should.
Takes place in Scotland. There's traders and there's faithfuls. And basically you're trying to figure out who the traitor is. And like, the traders are killing off faithfuls as they go, and the faithfuls are trying to figure out who the traitors are so they can kill them off.
Because if you figure it out, you get off. So he portrayed that he was a faithful the whole time and he was a traitor.
[00:06:59] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:07:00] Speaker A: So.
And he did very, very well. He was. Because he's, like, really chill and relaxed. Like, he doesn't get angry. He doesn't, like, overly defend himself or anything. If anybody's like, it's you.
So he played a really smart game and he had blessed one of the girls hearts. Like, one of the girls and him were like, super Close during the show and everything. And she, like, truly believed he was a faithful. And, like, went to the end with him, and then he was like, oh, by the way, I'm a trader. So he won the money. Like, I think it was like, 200,000 or something.
[00:07:28] Speaker B: That's awesome.
[00:07:29] Speaker A: Yeah. So this guy from, like, Florence, Alabama, is just, like, being on all these shows, and now he's, of course, like, on, like, Jimmy Come Alive and like, every single, like, news show and everything else. And he's been in New York all week, so. And I'm heading that way, so I'm like, maybe I'll see him.
And he's been hanging out with the heated rivalry guys in New York.
So I'm like, I just want to see all of them and. And just be like, hi, you guys are amazing. Thanks.
But yeah, but he has a girlfriend now, and he did say, like, he was telling people, like, I have a girlfriend. And I guess I had a girlfriend before he went to Traders. He met her in a bookstore. Oh, are you kidding me? I go to the bookstore. I go to the bookstore all the time.
What do you mean? Like, I go to bookstores all the time and I don't ever find a guy who's like, that attractive. Like, he's a very attractive man. And then also, just like, you, like, he approached a woman in the bookstore. Like, was I in the wrong section?
[00:08:27] Speaker B: You were definitely in the wrong section.
[00:08:29] Speaker A: Was I in the smut section? And I needed to be in, like, something else. Like, it's so heartbreaking for me. But alas, it's. There's some great TV out there. So when you are done with school, you gotta watch some tv.
[00:08:43] Speaker B: Even when I'm done with school, I don't watch reality tv.
[00:08:46] Speaker A: You should, though. It's so good because it will make you feel better about your life.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: I like to probably you'll be like,
[00:08:52] Speaker A: I'm not that bad now.
[00:08:54] Speaker B: When my strange addiction was out, I did watch some of those episodes.
[00:08:58] Speaker A: Yeah, those. Those were some strange ones. Like the people that ate the foam and toilet paper. Yeah, toilet paper. It's gross, but yeah. So. All right, we got a story.
Hi. My coworker told me about your podcast. Oh, thank you.
[00:09:14] Speaker B: Hi.
[00:09:15] Speaker A: Hello.
So she says, I'm going to share my victim impact statement with you regarding my ex husband because she wants to help educate women about the dangers of domestic violence and how it is it is possible to break free, which I think is something we love to talk about.
[00:09:32] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely.
[00:09:32] Speaker A: And. And that's the point of this Podcast is to be like, we're all in different healing times and timelines. You're not alone. Everybody's been through some awful relationships, and it is possible to get out of them if you feel stuck. And if you need resources, like, reach out to us, and we can point you in some good directions.
I want to share how it is possible for someone working in a successful career and educated can fall into a relationship like this.
She goes on to say that she has, like, texts and videos and to back up her claims, you know, in case there's ever an issue with receipts and. Same girl. Yeah, Keep them.
[00:10:09] Speaker B: Receipts, like, 50 cent.
[00:10:10] Speaker A: Absolutely. Hang on to them forever, because you. You never know, like, when you're going to need them.
[00:10:15] Speaker B: Right.
[00:10:17] Speaker A: So just. It's always good to just have them, which is kind of annoying because, like, I hate having to hang on to mine, but I have a phone from,
[00:10:23] Speaker B: like, 2015 hanging on to my receipts. Okay, I get it.
[00:10:26] Speaker A: I have to put everything, like, into, like, a file folder on my computer.
[00:10:32] Speaker B: You're so much more tech savvy than me as I hold on to my 2015 flip phone.
[00:10:38] Speaker A: Yeah, you could definitely.
[00:10:39] Speaker B: I'm kidding. It wasn't a flip, but.
[00:10:41] Speaker A: Hey, they're coming back. Hey. I did see one at the library the other day. I told you, they're coming back.
[00:10:46] Speaker B: Oh, look, an antique.
[00:10:49] Speaker A: I've been there.
All right. It says, once we moved into the house, the abuse escalated, which I feel like is the story for a lot of people.
[00:10:59] Speaker B: It's always once you move in, because then they think that you're trapped.
[00:11:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Which is really, really sad.
[00:11:04] Speaker B: She's not going to want to move out.
[00:11:05] Speaker A: Yeah. She's. She's stuck here.
[00:11:07] Speaker B: And you're, like, going to take her now.
[00:11:08] Speaker A: Mm. She said she was even more isolated because she was working remotely, so she said it felt like a prison.
She became even more depressed and withdrawn. But she was so incredibly thankful for her best friend and her best friend's husband, who started coming over weekly to check on her because they could see what was happening, which is great. Like, check on your people.
[00:11:29] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:11:30] Speaker A: Even if they're not asking for it. Just, like, check on them. Like, help them in whatever way you can.
Just knowing that you're there, I think makes a big difference for people. We would only hang out with his friends, but then she would always have at least her friend that came.
They saw the obsession that. So this guy apparently had obsession with firearms. So he had an obsession. Firearms that kept escalating. He was hiding guns in the pull down attic, the walk in attic, master bedroom. There was a gun room upstairs. They were all over the living room kitchen. Guns were everywhere in this home.
You had to move guns off the kitchen table and the couch to sit down.
[00:12:07] Speaker B: That is insane. Like, I've known people to have a
[00:12:09] Speaker A: lot of guns, sure.
[00:12:10] Speaker B: But, like, gun safety, too. Like, we don't just leave them all over the place.
[00:12:14] Speaker A: No, no. And, like, if you're gonna have them, do you need that many? Right. That's a lot.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: That's a lot.
[00:12:21] Speaker A: Like, and especially when it's just like, AR. So she says they're AR15s and Glocks with four to five magazines with him at all times, including going to grocery stores. Why are you going to grocery store with a rifle?
[00:12:34] Speaker B: That's crazy.
[00:12:35] Speaker A: Like, oh, she said a Glock.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: Isn't a Glock a handgun?
[00:12:38] Speaker A: Yeah, but she said also an AR15 and that's a rifle. Yeah. So he's going to. He's going with a rifle and a Glock with four to six magazines with him at all times to, like, go to the grocery store.
[00:12:48] Speaker B: Can somebody, like, whisper his name to the FBI just in case?
[00:12:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm concerned.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: Like, I have concerns.
[00:12:54] Speaker A: I do, too, because that's a lot. And like, okay, are you in a war zone? Like, why are you.
It's completely fine to have a gun, like, on you. If that's like, your thing and you took a class or you have your consult carry or, you know, some states are open carry, whatever the case is. But even as I own a gun. Me too. And I. For, like, my safety and protection, I don't open carry because I don't need people to know that I have it, like, where I am and what I'm doing. Because the point of it is, is for just my protection. It's not. I'm not trying to showboat, not bragging about it. I'm not trying to make people feel uncomfortable.
[00:13:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:13:32] Speaker A: Like, I think there's a lot to be said about that. Like, I feel is intimidating when people, like, want to just walk around, especially with an AR15. That's pretty wild.
And especially in the world of active shooters.
[00:13:44] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:45] Speaker A: I mean, we just had the one in Austin, Texas. Like, there's shootings all the time. So it's just.
I don't know in this day and age, like, do you need to be like that? I don't, but it sounds like this was very concerning. So she says he also took those guns to see her family. Her family saw the escalation and they were Worried. So obviously, like, he's always been a gun person, but he's been bringing more and more and more guns around, which is pretty wild. They said they were always nice to him, so he wouldn't.
So he wouldn't isolate her further so that they were, like, playing the game because they were worried about, like, him isolating her even more than he already had.
She always did things with her dad and her stepmom on the weekends to have an outlet, a break from the daily berating outbursts and violence. He would take his anger out on the house, the dogs, the cars, and me. There was no peace or quiet in the house.
The neighbors were even scared. And every time we took the dogs for the walk, a walk he was armed. And every time he would have an episode, I would run right in my dad's, jump in the car with just clothes on my back and my purse, sometimes my purse. And the dogs, if I could grab them, he would chase me with ar the ars, and I would hide with the dogs in my office.
That house was literally my prison.
And she felt like a prisoner in the marriage. There were a lot of men who came over weekly who he sold guns and ammo to and witnessed, like, how he treated her. And then they told her that she should act better and treat him with respect.
What.
I mean, it makes sense if these are the kinds of people that are, like, selling some backwards.
[00:15:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:21] Speaker A: Like, gun stuff. Like, seems really sketchy.
[00:15:24] Speaker B: Like, the whole situation seems real sketchy.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: Well, that's the stuff that Dick used to do. Like, he would be like, I sold my gun. I'm like, what? Into who and to where.
[00:15:32] Speaker B: Yeah, Like.
[00:15:32] Speaker A: And apparently it's legal in the state of Alabama to just do whatever you want. I don't know where she's from, but, you know, in certain states, it just depends on what the laws are. And that's pretty crazy to me.
And it's. It's. I'm not surprised that the men that were buying these guns were saying something like that. But, like, how dare you? Like, what right do you have to even talk to her?
[00:15:55] Speaker B: Right?
[00:15:55] Speaker A: Like, that's insane. She says she's sunk into a deeper depression, which makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. She said, my dad and my stepmom saw the spark slowly disappear for me. I was so depressed, I stopped taking care of myself. I got horrible migraines. I thought I had no way out. He talked horribly, horribly to me, horribly about women, her profession, people of color, her appearance and her weight and her looks. She thought. She thought that she weighed 400 pounds, which she does. She doesn't. And she didn't. But, like, that's how he made her feel. And that she was an unlovable piece of trash. Um, I'm gonna back this up and say that she responded. Cause I. I asked for a clarifying question on how long they had been together, and they had been together 12 years.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Oh, my God.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: And so.
[00:16:39] Speaker B: So 12 years of that nightmare.
[00:16:41] Speaker A: So. Well, I think it wasn't a nightmare in the beginning, but what ended up happening was he started escalating and going down like a.
[00:16:50] Speaker B: A spiral down.
[00:16:51] Speaker A: A spiral down like a political hill and going over to this. I need all the guns, I need all the weapons. I need all the things. Which I think a lot of people were, like, doing for a hot minute. And it sounds like he was part of that. And then he was like, escalating everything.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: So I think it is really important to note that a lot of domestic violence relationships don't start off abusive from the beginning. They start off with, like, showing anger issues, lashing out a lot like screaming and yelling. And then that gets a little bit worse and a little bit worse. And maybe sexual abuse comes into account. And then eventually it does get a physical. But, like, it doesn't just jump into that. So, like, when a lot of people say, well, why did you stay with him if he was abusive? Like, it didn't start that way.
[00:17:30] Speaker A: Right. And then a lot of times, by the time you do see it and you can leave, it's a situation like this where you're like, he's gonna shoot me if I walk out the door. And it's hard to get away and you're worried about your dogs and you're worried about the kids or whatever. The additional thing ends up being. So it's not as easy as just walking away. And I think that's just a cop out for a lot of people who've never been through anything like that.
[00:17:50] Speaker B: Absolutely.
I mean, there's a lot more that goes into play, for sure.
[00:17:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And.
[00:17:55] Speaker B: And like, just a fear of, like, are they gonna come after you afterwards?
[00:17:58] Speaker A: Yes. Like, and because we've talked to people
[00:18:00] Speaker B: who hurt somebody I love because I
[00:18:02] Speaker A: left, or are they going to threaten to kill themselves? Like, we've had that happen a lot.
[00:18:06] Speaker B: Every relationship I've been in, that's how it's ended.
[00:18:09] Speaker A: Yeah. And like, we've had other listeners that have come on and like last year and talked about it, and we're like, yeah, he told me he's going to kill himself and was like, trying to guilt me and stuff. And they're manipulative and they know what they're doing.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:18:21] Speaker A: She says a violent episode happened in the fall of 2024 for her for their nephew's birthday. They were driving down. So they're from Alabama because they were driving down to Tuscaloosa.
And that's when he started screaming at me at the top of his lungs. And his eyes went black, which you've talked about.
And that legend, it's legit.
[00:18:41] Speaker B: I swear. The demon comes to them. I don't know. I. Like, I don't know what it is, but they. They do. They turn black.
[00:18:47] Speaker A: That's crazy.
So she said he yelled the entire way until he pulled off at a gas station and he jumped out with a loaded AR15 and Glock. So two guns, screaming for her to call an Uber and get the F out of the car. I don't even know what he was yelling about at the time. He was just yelling to yell.
I remembered he said, I spoke to him in a tone he did not appreciate. I sat down motionless in the car trying to download Uber and text his sister for help. His family was very much aware of all the abuse I have been put through.
And he put them through a lot of the same.
I wanted them to be made aware he was coming to a child's birthday with loaded guns.
Again, in the world of active shooters,
[00:19:34] Speaker B: like, getting real sketchy, like, can we slip his name?
[00:19:38] Speaker A: And a lot of. There's plenty of shootings that have happened at birthday parties, like, sadly, like, drive bys and everything else. Like, you hear it in the news all the time. So it's so disgusting.
He was causing a scene at the gas station is so people were looking. And of course, at a man screaming at a woman while waving an AR15 in a Glock. She was sobbing uncontrollably. She texts her friend that would come, like, check on her and tell her what happened.
She said he then got back in the car and starts driving erratically all the way to Tuscaloosa, screaming at her. She said she stopped the entire way. He was throwing napkins at her, telling her to blow her nose. And how it's all her fault that she spoke to him in a negative tone.
Because speaking in a negative tone warrants guns and screaming and.
[00:20:23] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, like, you should totally be shot because you spoke to him in a negative tone. That makes sense, right?
[00:20:29] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, the audacity that some men have.
[00:20:33] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, absolutely.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: Like, I don't understand.
[00:20:37] Speaker B: It's like they're hungry for power.
[00:20:39] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's just.
It's insane to me.
Once I got to the party, she sat in the car for over an hour, afraid to get out of the car. And she said that's when she knew her marriage was over, because she was like, this is insane.
This man is gonna. She's like, she said, this man was gonna kill me.
[00:20:57] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:58] Speaker A: So the abuse kept escalating more and more. His family came out to talk to her, and. And she told his mom and his sister that she didn't know how much more he could. She could take. There's. Their solution was for her to write back with them home to. To our house, to. To her own house with him to go back. Yeah. And continue living with him. But.
[00:21:17] Speaker B: Sounds like number one's mom.
[00:21:18] Speaker A: But they knew about the abuse. That's insane. Get.
[00:21:21] Speaker B: So did number one's mom. Like, she begged me not to leave.
Beg me not to leave him.
[00:21:29] Speaker A: Some people shouldn't be parents.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: Hence why her kid was abusive.
[00:21:33] Speaker A: Yeah. I wonder where it stems from.
[00:21:35] Speaker B: No accountability.
[00:21:39] Speaker A: And she says that is not the solution for domestic violence. Correct.
[00:21:42] Speaker B: Right, Correct.
[00:21:43] Speaker A: That is not the solution for her.
[00:21:44] Speaker B: A safe place.
[00:21:45] Speaker A: Correct. Give her a safe place to go, somewhere that she can get away from that. Like, don't take her back to that house.
[00:21:50] Speaker B: Right.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: Then he blew up on his uncle and was screaming at him all the while with loaded guns again, because. And he got. He got so angry that he got up and stormed out of the party. So he was still at the birthday party, waving guns around. So this guy blew up on, like, the. The birthday child's dad. So, like, that's the person that he blew up on with the guns at the kid's birthday party. And then he stormed out.
[00:22:18] Speaker B: That's insane.
[00:22:19] Speaker A: She said there was an episode where he was trying to make Curry and he messed it up. And he ran and grabbed a loaded AR15, waving it around, screaming at her and the dogs. About Curry. Yeah, over Curry. Like, so this man has major anger issues. Right. Like, bad. She said, heard one of the dogs started barking at him, and he pointed the loaded gun at her and said, get her away from me or I will shoot her.
So at this point, she's like, he was gonna kill my dog. So she grabbed. Quickly grabbed her and the other dog and ran to the bathroom and locked the door and hid. He was running around the. The apartment screaming, waving the AR15. So this is even scarier. He's in an apartment. Can you imagine, like, being neighbors with this person? Like, they're gonna shoot through the walls.
[00:22:57] Speaker B: You're having me reevaluating where I live.
[00:23:02] Speaker A: She said she did not have her phone and she had to sneak back out to find it. I heard. She heard the front door slam, and she took her chance and ran back into the bathroom with her phone and the dogs. She called his parents and asked for help. Told them he was waving the gun, trying to kill the dog, and they said they were on the way. I then called. She then called her own stepmom asking for help, that she was locked in the bedroom while he was doing God knows what outside.
She said she was on the way to get me and the dogs. When she showed up and called me. I grabbed the dogs in the leash and let her inside.
He had apparently left with the guns, so she quickly got a purse
[00:23:41] Speaker B: and
[00:23:42] Speaker A: went to her car. And then he appeared.
He walked up to them carrying the loaded ar.
[00:23:47] Speaker B: He really did love that gun, though.
[00:23:49] Speaker A: Seriously. Like, he really loves guns. She said anger was in his eyes and he was livid. He was angry that I called his parents and her and that she called her own stepmom.
Her stepmom offered him water to try to diffuse the situation. He walked inside. So they took their chance and ran to the car with the dogs. She wanted to call the police, but I would not let her. I was afraid he would lose his job. I know now that I was enabling his abuse along with his family.
[00:24:14] Speaker B: Oh, 100.
[00:24:15] Speaker A: Which is the thing, like, when it comes to, like, jobs and stuff, like, it's not your responsibility to protect their. Their money. Like, if they're making bad choices and they're, like, committing literal abuse and, you know, doing these things, and they deserve to lose their jobs also.
[00:24:32] Speaker B: Like, what job is it? Because, like, are they putting other people in danger? Because obviously, like, he had a really bad issue. So what exactly is he doing where he would lose his job? Because, Right. He probably doesn't need to work with the public.
[00:24:47] Speaker A: Right. Like, or anybody.
[00:24:48] Speaker B: He probably needs to be at a mental hospital.
[00:24:51] Speaker A: Right?
Because God forbid he's like, in some kind of, like, law enforcement type thing. Because a lot of times those are the people who are obsessed with guns and, you know, is that type of situation. Because he definitely doesn't need to be.
[00:25:05] Speaker B: And I don't think that one class that they make you take for anger management really does something for people.
No, my ex took it. He was still angry.
[00:25:17] Speaker A: I mean, I don't think one class is going to change that. Like, that's a therapist thing.
[00:25:20] Speaker B: I know Like, I was like, oh, okay. His probation offered one class, and I was like, it's really gonna do something.
[00:25:25] Speaker A: It's really gonna change it. That one anger class is really.
[00:25:29] Speaker B: You know what it didn't do, didn't change it.
[00:25:31] Speaker A: It probably made it more angry.
[00:25:32] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, like, he came back the same person. I was like, oh, I guess you learned something, didn't you?
[00:25:40] Speaker A: You're like, this is great. She said, this was a normal occurrence and blowing up and grabbing a gun.
He was always armed, especially with the rifle. And then he always. He also always had his Glock and extra magazines. It's interesting that he always had extra magazines. What do you need that many magazines for?
[00:25:55] Speaker B: I'm telling you, somebody let the FBI know.
[00:25:59] Speaker A: Yeah, that's true.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: Like, he's gonna shoot up the mall.
[00:26:02] Speaker A: Something's gonna happen at some point. He doesn't seem like he's very stable.
[00:26:06] Speaker B: I'm generally concerned to go them all now because you said it was in Alabama.
[00:26:10] Speaker A: She said. She said another example that she has been in the car with him when he pulled a gun on a woman driving down the interstate, screaming at her, shouting racist things to her.
I've been in the car when he pulled a loaded gun and held it to the back of his longtime best friend's head.
Now I'm like, were they still best friends?
[00:26:30] Speaker B: I hope not.
[00:26:31] Speaker A: Yeah, I hope not either.
[00:26:33] Speaker B: Who does that? Like, I mean, we talked about this earlier in the week. Like, who.
Who does that? I know somebody who was accidentally, quote, unquote, shot in the head. Like, it's not a game. It's not funny.
[00:26:45] Speaker A: Yeah, you don't play with guns. Like, that's not something you play with. She's been in the car with him, and he drove radically, sometimes over 90 miles per hour, driving reckless. And she was always terrified.
She's always told him that she was afraid of guns and he didn't care. He used the guns to control her. He was always open, caring, and he would scream at her if she cried from fear.
She was never allowed to show emotions. And then last year, he had the final large episode which caused her to finally flee and get away.
He started raging and said he was gonna refuse to take his medication. He came home and was, like, driving radically into the driveway. He got out of the car and went inside, slammed doors and started throwing his medicine and left a hole in the wall. She grabbed the dogs and held them, and he was just screaming. And then he went to the bedroom, sat down, and then he started a blood curdling Scream while sitting next to his rifle. She ran into the office with the dogs and she called her dad. She said she was scared. He didn't know what to do. He said to come to her to his house, and so she quickly grabbed a purse and ran. She called his friend and said, please help calm him down.
[00:27:56] Speaker B: I hope not the friend that he put the guy down.
[00:27:58] Speaker A: I'm like, hope it was a different one. But even then, like, that's scary for that friend. Like, if this guy is having these kind of, like, manic episodes to come around somebody with a gun, like, that's terrifying. Like, that's a job for police, right?
[00:28:09] Speaker B: And like, not going to lie. Like, there are lines to friendship.
If you pull a gun on me, like, our friendships over. If you're acting crazy and like, you may be a potential active shooter later, like, we're probably going to end this friendship.
[00:28:25] Speaker A: Correct?
Absolutely. That is the correct.
[00:28:27] Speaker B: I'm all of a sudden busy every time you want to hang out, and
[00:28:30] Speaker A: then they come and shoot you and.
[00:28:33] Speaker B: No, because we're gonna. We're gonna break it off really light.
[00:28:35] Speaker A: Okay. Slowly.
[00:28:36] Speaker B: I'm sorry. I'm just so busy.
[00:28:38] Speaker A: It has nothing to do with you.
[00:28:39] Speaker B: Nothing to do with you.
[00:28:40] Speaker A: She said she fled and. And unfortunately she had to leave the dogs because she didn't know what else to do because she didn't want to die.
She got to her dad's house and she finally opened up. Up about how dangerous they marriage was. So, see, that's the thing too, is we just don't. You don't tell the families a lot of times, like, how dangerous it is, you know, like you dangerous or like you don't want your family to not like your significant other. So you hide a lot of stuff. And while I agree that, like, you shouldn't be airing out all your dirty laundry in a situation like this where you're literally being abused and there's like, fear for your life. Like, you have to. You have to tell them. She said this is the first time that her dad and her stepmom told her it was okay to get a divorce, that she didn't have to continue living in the violence. She said that someone called her and said that they were taking care of the dogs. So she stayed with her family and tried to figure out what to do next.
She said the next day she went back to the house because her ex said that he would leave her alone. Of course he lied.
[00:29:39] Speaker B: Of course. They always do.
[00:29:41] Speaker A: He had spent the night in the car in the driveway. So she had no idea he was there. She thought it was safe at home with the dogs.
And then she knew she needed a plan to get away. She suggests to give other examples of things that he's done. He pulled a gun on the neighbor's dog.
He has at least three negligent discharges.
He stole gun parts from. To build guns and ammo from a gun factory. He lied about how he got hurt for his disability rating. So they were right there. That's military.
[00:30:17] Speaker B: Mm.
[00:30:17] Speaker A: So he's probably a military person.
He lied about being an EMT because he had flunked out of school. So.
So it sounds like he was in the. What I'm inferring is that he was in the military, and then he got out because of a disability and that he apparently lied about. And then he tried to become an emt and he fell, flunked out.
He lied about his arrest. He was arrested for kidnapping a minor.
So I guess you learned this after the fact, which is pretty crazy.
[00:30:52] Speaker B: That's awful.
[00:30:53] Speaker A: Yeah.
His friends gave him a nickname, apparently, because he lies so much that they call.
[00:31:05] Speaker B: That's why he pulled the gun on him.
[00:31:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
They call him his bullshit pills because he lies so much.
She said he also cheated on her multiple times and lied about it. He had physical relationships with women and told her that it was only, like, online and just an emotional thing to try to manipulate her, which is still cheating people.
[00:31:26] Speaker B: It is still 100% cheating.
[00:31:28] Speaker A: It is still cheating because that's, like, one of the things that drives me. Not, like, with.
[00:31:31] Speaker B: It was just online. It was never cheating. No, it was cheating.
[00:31:34] Speaker A: If you are entertaining another woman and telling her that she's beautiful and telling her that she's sexy and sending photos and, like, just, like, entertaining another woman, period, while you were in a committed relationship with somebody. That is cheating.
[00:31:48] Speaker B: Right.
[00:31:48] Speaker A: It drives me nuts when men think that that's not cheating. I'm like.
Because they would be pissed if we did it.
[00:31:55] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely.
[00:31:58] Speaker A: He. She found out that he took another girl to see a concert.
That's funny.
Sounds familiar.
Speaking of concerts, though, we have the best one coming up.
[00:32:12] Speaker B: I'm so excited.
[00:32:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
So Dick's gonna be jealous. Told her that he went to his cousins. Well, that's interesting. He said. She said. He told me he went to his cousins and got an STD from her.
[00:32:27] Speaker B: From his cousin.
[00:32:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:32:28] Speaker B: Hold on. His cousin. Not her cousin. His cousin.
[00:32:31] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what it says.
[00:32:34] Speaker B: What is up with it? Okay, they're gonna have to stop talking about Kentucky because apparently it's Alabama.
[00:32:39] Speaker A: Yeah, Alabama's having some issues.
[00:32:40] Speaker B: Alabama's having some incest.
[00:32:41] Speaker A: So. So basically he, He. So then he exposed her to an std. She had to go to the health department.
This is like, that's a sad. Another sad situation. Like, I had to go do that because I didn't know who all he had been with and everything. And that was just like having to sit there and have that test sucks and tell them, like, oh, my husband's been cheating on me for four years and I need to get tested because I don't know if he's given me anything that's like, maybe not popping or I'm not having symptoms from. Because you don't always have symptoms.
So. And that is a. That's a horrible thing to have to do. So I, I feel her for that. Like, you know, you're not alone.
[00:33:15] Speaker B: I was terrified when I had to.
[00:33:18] Speaker A: Sadly, that's the case for a lot of us that have to go do that test.
However, with a positive ending to this, she is 10 months clean and free from this relationship.
[00:33:31] Speaker B: Congratulations.
[00:33:32] Speaker A: Which is amazing. Absolutely. I'm glad you got away.
[00:33:35] Speaker B: I'm happy for you.
[00:33:36] Speaker A: Absolutely. I hope he leaves you alone.
I hope he stays far away from you.
We're definitely going to make sure we know who he is so that we don't see him. If you.
I think posting him, which I will, you know, respond to her and say, but I think she needs to post him and are we dating the same guy? She could do it anonymously, but I think that's something that people need to know to watch out for this person. Because those websites, I know they piss men off and I know they have the same thing for us where they, like, rate us and stuff, which is disgusting because we're not.
At least in our local one, you're not being rated. Like, we're not rating men. It's literally like, hey, this guy's abusive. Or this is my situation that I had with him. So just be aware. Because I think that's the number one thing is like, just knowing what you're getting into. Because guys are so good and women too. But people are very good at hiding things and manipulating and lying. So people should know what they're getting into if they have been an abusive person before.
And I think that, that, you know, posted anonymously. If you're worried about, like, laws or anything else, don't share their full name.
Posted anonymously because people still need to know. And then you could, like, leave it open to, like, I have proof I have receipts if anybody needs to come. Like, you know, what she did with the email with us, it sounds like that was a horrible, like, escalating relationship. And then to find out that, like, he was cheating the whole time, and then he escalates with the guns. And you're constantly, like, putting holes in walls and you're, you know, hitting, you know, her, the dogs, like, kicking them or doing whatever they're doing to. To them, too. Like, that's just. It's gross.
[00:35:13] Speaker B: Horrible.
[00:35:14] Speaker A: So I'm glad that you got away from that.
[00:35:17] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:17] Speaker A: But. All right, well, that was another story. So everybody remember, you're not alone. Click subscribe. Check out all our socials. We post some entertaining things there. We think we're funny. So go on and see it.
[00:35:30] Speaker B: Tik Tok thinks I'm funny.
[00:35:31] Speaker A: Tik Tok does think you're funny. Amber does a big portion of the socials. So go check us out and we'll see you next time. Bye. Bye.
This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances, contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 256-801-1000 or visit them online at www.alabamalaw.com. when your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
