Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome back to Spill the Tea Unfiltered how you doing?
[00:00:04] Speaker B: I'm good. How are you doing?
[00:00:06] Speaker A: Doing good, doing good.
We had something kind of crazy happen in our town, didn't we? We did.
[00:00:12] Speaker B: What was that?
[00:00:13] Speaker A: Yeah. So Mike the lineman.
I guess we have a lineman rodeo that was here. Who knew? Because we didn't.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: I had no idea.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: I guess that's not our thing.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: No.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: Not the type of gals we are.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Well, and lineman's are known to cheat, so.
[00:00:29] Speaker A: Yeah. Pass along the same lines of, I don't know, law enforcement.
[00:00:33] Speaker B: Right.
[00:00:34] Speaker A: You know, it's. It's a similar situation.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: Like traveling job.
[00:00:37] Speaker A: Yeah. When you travel that much, it's something that you should look out for if your husband travels all the time like that. But I guess there were two girls, local girls here who, one of them was making out with him and dancing with him and stuff. And her friend posted on Tick Tock and it went viral. Girl saying that she met her soulmate and everything. And the wife commented.
[00:01:03] Speaker B: So, you know, I really couldn't imagine being a wife and just scrolling tick tock. Having a normal night, you know, just put the kids in bed and you're scrolling tick tock and that's what you come across.
[00:01:14] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:15] Speaker B: Like I think I would be mortified.
[00:01:17] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely.
We feel so bad for her and you know, we made our own little video tour for her and sent her like support and everything because that's just, I mean an awful way to find out. Like I found out online about all the 20 plus women. But I can't even imagine finding out the first time. Like the first affair and the. And watch my husband making out with somebody else online.
[00:01:48] Speaker B: And to make matters worse, it goes on repeat and on repeat and on repeat. Every time I get on Tick Tock that's all I see. So. So everybody, all her family's seen it.
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:57] Speaker B: All her friends have seen it. She hasn't even had time to process it yet. And the whole world knows and she can't even turn around and like get on Facebook or get on Instagram or anything just to decompress because it's right there in her face.
[00:02:10] Speaker A: Yep. And. And I, I know she had to delete her tik Tok and supposedly got another, a different one just because she was getting bombarded. And that sucks like that you can't do anything.
So if she happens to hear this, like we're here for you. We're sorry you went through that.
And you know, whatever decision you make, I think that's the other thing Is a lot of people were talking about, like, she.
She better leave her husband or like, making fun of her for not leaving her husband. And at the end of the day, it is her decision on what she does it.
[00:02:45] Speaker B: Absolutely. It's her decision on what she wants to do for her and her family.
Maybe she's not in a position to leave financially. Maybe it wouldn't be good for the kids. Maybe the kids would take that really hard. And maybe she needs time to process that and work with her kids on it before she makes that actual move and that. I mean, it's all up to her what she chooses to do. This is 20, 26.
And I mean, like, we're really moving towards a world where a lot of times people are not staying within their marriage, but then they still stay in their marriage.
[00:03:18] Speaker A: So, I mean, I have.
[00:03:19] Speaker B: That is her choice at the end of the day.
[00:03:21] Speaker A: Absolutely. I have friends that have done it and, you know, it's. It's not up to me. It's not my decision. Like, I want better for my friends. I want better for her.
And I want. Because I want these women to be loved by somebody who actually loves them, who treats them the way they deserve to be treated.
But at the end of the day, it's their marriage, it's their life. So if that's something they choose to do and choose to stay.
You know, I thought about staying at first until I found out about all the other women. And so it's. It's something. It just takes time and it's hard. It's hard to lose the person that you love. So, you know, we're sending all our love out to her and hopefully she. She gets some healing from.
From something I.
[00:04:06] Speaker B: However that looks like.
[00:04:08] Speaker A: Yep. However that looks for her. So we have a story today.
Juicy, Juicy.
It was sent to us from a TikTok follower.
[00:04:21] Speaker B: I'm excited about all the new stories we're getting from TikTok and different platforms. I'm super excited to know that we're going to be able to help more women.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely.
Thank you. You know, to all our new followers and sending in stories and, you know, tell all your friends, tell everybody to send us, you know, their stories because it really does help to know that you're not alone, I think. And.
And for ex. Example, for this one, she said, you know, this is her first step in healing and she thanked us for being able to write like this is the first time she's wrote it out and everything. So I think this is going to be the start of her healing process. And I think that's the way it is for a lot of women for telling their stories for the first time.
[00:05:02] Speaker B: It's really important that women know that they're not alone either, that they're not the only ones who are going through this. Maybe there's somebody that can help them. Yeah. Because a lot of times when we're in these relationships and we're battling these issues, we feel alone.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:05:14] Speaker B: We don't feel like we can talk to our family because we don't want them to jump to hasty conclusions.
Just like we were talking to one of our other friends this week, and she was talking about how her mom had jumped down her throat over her boyfriend over something really she thought was simple.
[00:05:28] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:29] Speaker B: So, you know, like, you really, like, in those relationships, and in those moments, you do feel alone.
[00:05:34] Speaker A: Yeah, you really do. So. So hopefully that's our goal here, is to help all the women, you know, feel like they're. They're not alone and, you know, be here for you to. To.
To vent, to get it out and do it all anonymously so that you stay safe.
All right, so let's get into it.
So she says.
He and I met on a dating site in March of last year.
I thought he was who I spent my whole life searching for. Everything felt so safe and comfortable. He asked me questions about life, family, kids, what I wanted, etc. And I held nothing back.
I kept thinking, I don't share this much with anyone, but I believed he was my forever. He talked about his dream job and how it was demanding, and sometimes he worked a lot.
Or he asked if that was something she could handle, and she said that it was.
We became intimate, intimate pretty quickly.
Even though that was something that she normally didn't do, she did it with him.
I struggled with the feelings that were developing because they were so new to me. Because prior to him, she had been single and celibate since 2013.
[00:06:48] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:06:48] Speaker A: Yep.
Good for her, though. Absolutely. I shared a detail that I had been intimate with somebody in 2022 for health reasons. She wanted to be completely transparent.
It was protected, and it was only one time. And I also shared those details with him. Fast forward to September of 2025.
While I had been struggling with the intense feelings and rate that things were progressing, I had moments I wanted to run.
We've all been there.
[00:07:23] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:07:25] Speaker A: And I think that's part of it. Like, you know, when it does progress quickly, you're also like, wait, is this normal? And I think that may have you may not have realized it then, but that may have been your gut check being like, hey, something's going on, but we'll continue and see where this goes.
He assured me that we were okay and that it was okay. I was feeling this way because I had never felt those feelings. Now, mind you, she. She's 48 at the time. And it was a little embarrassing to admit that while I had long term relationships in the past that had produced children, I had never been in love.
And that was my truth. In September, my intuition was screaming at me. But he knew all the right things to say and how to calm me. He had been studying, unbeknownst to me. So it sounds like he'd been like studying her and like how to like calm her down.
Yeah, kind of like a narcissist.
So October was her birthday month. And he bought her pretty flowers. They spent the day together.
The day made her insides feel like they were on fire. But then I learned to stay quiet to avoid an argument.
So again, her gut is telling her something's off.
And while nothing changed with communication, everything was consistent. The check ins, the I love yous. But she still had this extreme anxiety.
Early in their relationship, I had seen posted in a group on Facebook, are we dating the same guy?
Hey, that's where I found out the mine had 20 plus affairs. It's a great.
[00:09:00] Speaker B: And that's how we met.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: That is how we met. So see, good can come out of it.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:09:05] Speaker A: I shared him and he said women have told him they saw him posted there before and he thought it was someone that was bitter about a breakup. I didn't punch my. I didn't put much energy into it at the time. So Halloween night, 2025, I couldn't quite quiet the screaming from my intuition and I went into the group and sure enough, he was posted again.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: Oh, like recently posted. So like he is playing the game and.
[00:09:35] Speaker A: Yeah, and posted by somebody that wasn't her and he's supposed to be with her.
The comments flooded.
[00:09:40] Speaker B: I really am thankful for that Facebook page. Whoever first came out with that genius.
[00:09:46] Speaker A: Literally, Literally. And I mean it's so important because the amount of men out here doing this, I mean, women too, but still, like, this is. We're talking about men because. What's the quote?
It's not all men, but all men. Like there's a reason these groups have to exist because there is sexual assault. There is. Oh yeah, Domestic violence. These men are married and having affairs. Like there are reasons why these groups exist.
[00:10:11] Speaker B: It's important that women support women.
[00:10:13] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:10:14] Speaker B: And it's really important that in those groups, even if it is your friend, even if it is your brother, that you're not sharing that they have been posted.
[00:10:22] Speaker A: Oh, I know the amount of women who like, screenshot it and send it to Dick. And he was like, I know that you're posting me. And I'm like, first of all, I didn't post you. And he was like, you're anonymous. I'm like, I have no reason to be anonymous, sir.
[00:10:34] Speaker B: We're not afraid of you.
[00:10:36] Speaker A: Not at all.
So, you know, but that they just get so mad when they get posted because they're getting called out on their.
[00:10:42] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
But like, my thing is, like, if they are abusers or if they're dangerous, you're sharing that information over to them so that they can go and harm that woman.
[00:10:53] Speaker A: Absolutely. And you know, how many people has that happened to, like, right, men.
The top Googled thing. Or it was some crazy percentage of men Googling. Or the Google was how to get away with murder.
Like killing a woman. Like, it was men Googling how to get away with killing their wife.
Like, it's disgusting. And people do it all the time. And you never know who's going to just snap.
[00:11:20] Speaker B: You don't. Oh, you know, I was thinking about that this morning and like, do you ever wonder because maybe I'm just dark and weird, but do you ever like, question like, do you know somebody who's murdered somebody and they're just getting away with it right now?
[00:11:34] Speaker A: No, but now I'm going to.
[00:11:36] Speaker B: I question it all the time.
[00:11:37] Speaker A: I'm like, that's funny that that's your dark question. Because my dark question when I'm walking through like the woods is, how many dead bodies are out here?
[00:11:43] Speaker B: Oh, I think about that all the time when I'm driving past, like a. Like a long stretch of woods, I'm like, I wonder how many dead bodies. When I was younger and weird, because I've always been weird, I used to like, watch the woods to see if I would see anything. Like in the tree line.
[00:11:56] Speaker A: Like, is there. Is there a murderer in there? Like, I don't know. Is there a ghost? We. We don't know. This is what happens when you love true crime.
[00:12:02] Speaker B: But they recently just found a dead body in Madison behind in some woods.
[00:12:06] Speaker A: See?
[00:12:06] Speaker B: So sound like this is a legit question.
[00:12:09] Speaker A: And that's why I have a tattoo that says stay out of the forest. Thank you to my favorite murder shout out to that podcast.
[00:12:16] Speaker B: Do you ever think about like driving past houses, if there's anybody locked in the basements or in the bedroom. Because I think about it all the time. Like when I'm driving past houses, I'm like, I wonder if I'm driving past somebody who's.
[00:12:25] Speaker A: Especially if it's a creepy house, like a super weird creepy house. You're like, that is something.
Something's happening in that house. Yeah, absolutely. Well, it's. I. I think there's a. One of the new Netflix documentaries which we should watch that just came out was the woman who in Utah.
It was a Mormon family. And she ends up like abusing the. Out of her kids and. But she got famous during COVID on YouTube.
[00:12:51] Speaker B: Oh, wow.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: And TikTok and stuff and ended up like getting really wealthy off of it. But she got into like essentially this cult with this therapist. And I don't know if you ever saw the news article from the kid that like escaped and like ran to a neighbor, I believe, and then ended up.
The police ended up getting called and they found out that like the kids were actually being abused and stuff.
[00:13:12] Speaker B: I think I did see something about that.
[00:13:14] Speaker A: Yeah. So that's a documentary now.
[00:13:17] Speaker B: I still can't move past the Gabriel story that happened a couple years ago with that poor baby.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah.
[00:13:21] Speaker B: It breaks my heart all the time. It's over and over again.
[00:13:24] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's what I mean.
There's some dark out there. So stop. Stop encouraging essentially giving ammo to these men and their egos and their anger issues.
[00:13:38] Speaker B: Right.
[00:13:38] Speaker A: Go take it out on a woman.
You know, if you don't like it, scroll past it. You know what I mean? Like scroll by. And yes, there are better bitter women that post stuff in there. But you can tell 100. You can tell the difference between like a bitter ex, like being like, you know, he don't pay child support, he
[00:13:55] Speaker B: does this, he does that. Yeah.
[00:13:57] Speaker A: Whatever it is. But the ones that are real are the ones that have a ton of comments. Like when, when Dick was post, he had like 300 and something comments. And when you have that many women talking about a man, that's a real issue. Yeah.
[00:14:11] Speaker B: There's something wrong.
[00:14:12] Speaker A: Yeah. So don't, don't be running there, running your mouth.
So she says Halloween night's the night that she got on the group and the comments were flooded with women claiming that they were currently dating him.
One had met him that night for coffee and a.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: That night. Yeah, that's what it says that night.
[00:14:35] Speaker A: Yep.
And had a, a four hour long talk while sitting in his car.
[00:14:40] Speaker B: Oh, no.
[00:14:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
Others were saying that they were right. Others are saying they were currently talking to him over text as well as multiple dating sites. Oh, shocking on multiple dating sites.
[00:14:53] Speaker B: Hey, kind of sounds similar to somebody we know.
[00:14:55] Speaker A: Somebody who. Who knew.
Are you sure this wasn't Dick? Maybe we should compare notes.
Let's.
[00:15:01] Speaker B: Let's compare photos.
[00:15:02] Speaker A: Yeah, let's compare photos after this.
Others had posted that they dated him in the past and that he had a history of cheating, being abusive, misleading, and also having questionable sexual behaviors. These weren't my ex. Maybe.
Again, we need to compare photos.
[00:15:20] Speaker B: We need. We need to see the photo. Yeah.
Does he like to be pegged?
[00:15:25] Speaker A: That's a thing right now? I don't know what's going on. I think there's a lot of guys out there who may be gay, and they just need to accept that they are. And, you know, they would be better for all the women as well if you would just own your own sexuality. That would be great.
So she said these weren't just comments or accusations. They were followed with pictures or screenshots of the text as well as con the conversations that she has directly with them. So she, I guess, messaged a bunch of the girls. She went on, and she.
She wasn't anonymous because she wanted people to contact her. So she shared her phone number.
She thought she was gonna die. One woman had thought she was in a relationship with him for the past month. But over our conversation, she said that he was a very smooth talker and she fell very fast. And over the month, he'd invited her over to have sex and tell her repeatedly that she was his woman. And he had expectations that she.
Like certain sexual expectations that he had also told her so that she. He was telling the woman, the women, the same thing.
[00:16:38] Speaker B: Right? Same thing.
[00:16:39] Speaker A: And she had ended things with him that night. She decided to stay calm and didn't share anything with him. Stayed on the phone with a good friend for the next two days, almost around the clock. She couldn't eat to sleep or drink. And. And her friend would tell her, go get water and drink it. I want to hear you drink it. Because she lives in another state, so she was trying to support her through that. So good for you for having a good friend and good for that friend for being there for you. I don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't have her. He had plans to come to her place on Sunday, so I think that's what I held on to so as to remain quiet about It. Until she saw him face to face, which also. Good for you. That's hard to do, right?
Because you want to just confront them. Like, immediately you want to just confront them. So it's hard to, like, hold on.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: Let's make it back to the house.
[00:17:26] Speaker A: Yeah, I.
I actually did a good job not confronting mine, but he came out to go to the potty and he saw me, so. Oh, no.
[00:17:32] Speaker B: I was throwing his stuff out there.
[00:17:36] Speaker A: In your situation, I would have. I would have been, too, though.
[00:17:38] Speaker B: Y' all know I'm crazy. Like, his stuff was outside. Okay. Do not play with me.
[00:17:44] Speaker A: Up until the hour that he was getting ready to leave his house to come to her, he was still interacting with women online. Lying, saying he was getting ready for the workweek. Meal prepping, which was a lie. I have meal prepped his lunches every day since the beginning. A whole year.
[00:18:01] Speaker B: Say, we do too much for these men. That's what it is. You know, somebody commented on that post that you had did on TikTok and was like, well, what were you doing during that time? And I guess he was wanting to know what you were doing for him while he was gaslighting you and love bombing you. And I wanted to be like, she was doing too much because she was paying his bills and paying for his Lasik and his tattoos and his teeth be repaired.
He cheated on her with me, and I wasn't doing for him and nor was I going to.
[00:18:31] Speaker A: But he really thought you were, though.
[00:18:33] Speaker B: He really. He.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: He was like. He was like, I'm going to move in with her because she lives only a mile from my work and this to be my new baby mama or my new sugar mama. Not baby mama, but sugar mama. So he thought he had a sugar mama.
[00:18:44] Speaker B: Let him stay the night.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: Like, listen, he just thought. He thought he could wear you down.
[00:18:49] Speaker B: He.
[00:18:49] Speaker A: He doesn't know me, but instead, now we ran him out of the state.
[00:18:54] Speaker B: Yay.
[00:18:57] Speaker A: All right, so she spent a year on him, which sucks. I. I know how that feels. I spent four. So she said that Sunday was no different. She still meal prep for him.
Like, yeah.
[00:19:05] Speaker B: Oh, I've meal prep, too, with.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: I love how you say laxatives and I say ar.
[00:19:11] Speaker B: Nick, we do not ready for jelly yet.
[00:19:13] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah. We do not condone murder on this podcast.
[00:19:17] Speaker B: And I. I look really good in orange when I have a tan, so I cannot go to jail.
[00:19:20] Speaker A: I don't look good in orange, so
[00:19:22] Speaker B: Big Bertha will come for me.
My mom told me. She was like, if you ever end up in jail, somebody's gonna make you the beach.
[00:19:29] Speaker A: I think I would be the dominant one for sure.
[00:19:32] Speaker B: Well, apparently my mom doesn't think very highly of me because she thought that I was.
[00:19:36] Speaker A: I'd be this missive one.
Oh, Mom.
So she said when he got there, he tried to kiss me. And she turned away and still didn't come clean. And that's what she was hoping for. An hour after he was there, she finally broke remain calm and looked directly at him and asked if there's anything he wanted to tell her.
He was quiet and looked like he was in trouble.
I said, let's cut the bs. I know everything. He put his head, head down and didn't apologize, which was something I had told myself. If.
If it goes right into I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I was going to be done and ask him to leave. I didn't want to hear I'm sorry. Because he made a series of choices and now he had to own them. He looked up at me and said, I know I messed up, seeing how I've hurt you. I hate myself for this. He got his phone and started showing me his accounts and that he was deleting his profiles, not just hiding them. He promised transparency from then on and that he would never do it again. I trusted him, believed in him and us. And I'd already fallen in love with him so deeply that I stayed.
I mean, is there a book for
[00:20:43] Speaker B: those guys out there where they read it and they're like, okay, well, this is what we do next when we get caught, this is what we do.
[00:20:49] Speaker A: Yeah, probably. They're podcasters and they're like far right insane people that they follow.
[00:20:55] Speaker B: Like, I want to know, like, why?
[00:20:57] Speaker A: Like, because what is his name or whatever the hell? Like, I don't know. There's a podcaster out there who's thinks women are like under your shoe. And I'm sure that they all follow him.
[00:21:08] Speaker B: Stabby stab.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: Stabby stab.
So the next month to a month and a half, he was very open and transparent. He would send screenshots of texts sent to him showing he didn't interact that I. So she believed that it was a mistake and was in the healing process.
She continued to get texts and people saying that she was stupid for staying and that she was no different, and a man like him would never change, which is true. So it's. It's hard because it's like, again, you're going to make your choice to stay, and that is your decision, and that is your thing. But 99.9 of the time, men do not change. Especially when they cheat on you the first time and they. And you take them back. They know they can get away with it, so they continue to do it because they think that there's no punishment for that.
It's also just a morality issue and integrity issue within these men, and a lot of them just don't have it, so they're just not going to change.
She said that they talked, and she eventually changed her number so these women would leave her alone. Things quieted down from the outside noise, and she was working through it. Things were okay. December, January, and February. In February, she moved closer to him. She was now 15 minutes away instead of an hour. He came over more often, but the fighting intensified. He was telling that her past bothered him, and the fact that she had been intimate with seven men prior to him meant that she was a. And made horrible choices. He called me a bad mom because I raised my kids alone and said, women who would rather be single and try to raise kids on their own are broken women trying to be alphas. The what?
[00:22:46] Speaker B: The.
[00:22:48] Speaker A: The.
Absolutely the not.
I have so many issues with this. Okay, so first of all, you are 48 years old, and he's saying that being with seven women makes you a. Well, we're.
I don't.
That's baffling to me. Again, this guy must be, like, following those, like, podcasters. Like, they think that, like, what, he thought you have children? He thought you were a virgin at 48 years old.
Okay, and how many women.
Yes. How many women?
[00:23:26] Speaker B: What?
[00:23:27] Speaker A: How many women has he been with? I cannot stand this double standard bullshit where men are just like, oh, I can be with as many women as I want, but you better be a virgin.
[00:23:35] Speaker B: Why do they think that?
[00:23:36] Speaker A: Like, I don't know.
[00:23:37] Speaker B: I want to know.
[00:23:38] Speaker A: I don't know. Hey, men out there, toxic men.
Why is it okay for you to sleep with as many people as you want to, but not women?
[00:23:45] Speaker B: Right.
[00:23:45] Speaker A: Let us know.
Wild. Also good on you for raising your children.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:23:53] Speaker A: Like, there's people.
[00:23:55] Speaker B: They probably grew up in a peaceful home without fighting. They were probably very well loved.
[00:24:01] Speaker A: Yeah. Good on you. Good on you. And that's not an easy thing to do either.
That's wild.
And it's not women trying to be alphas. It's women requiring men to actually stand up and be men. And when they don't meet that standard, we're like, okay, well, we'll just do it on our own.
[00:24:20] Speaker B: Right? Like, and. As we should. Like, why Would we stay in a home where we're not happy, where we're not respected or we're not treated right? This is not the 1950s.
[00:24:29] Speaker A: I don't need you for your money.
[00:24:30] Speaker B: Fought for our rights, and we no longer have to settle with men to survive. And I've. You know, I read something recently that talks about that. The reason that divorce rates are so high is because women no longer have to settle for men who don't treat them well.
[00:24:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:24:45] Speaker B: And we need divorce now.
[00:24:47] Speaker A: Well, and there's. There's a whole movement of men out there that think that women having rights is a horrible idea and they should take them away from us.
[00:24:53] Speaker B: Oh, of course there is.
[00:24:54] Speaker A: Because. Of course. Because they're being stuck by themselves and they don't like themselves.
[00:24:58] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:24:59] Speaker A: So maybe they should work on that. I like myself. I'm fine being alone.
[00:25:01] Speaker B: Me too.
Men give me the ick.
[00:25:05] Speaker A: Facts.
[00:25:07] Speaker B: He.
[00:25:08] Speaker A: So then this told her that her father never loved her.
In the beginning, she shared everything, every detail. She says she has a very good relationship with her dad, and he passed very young at 51, and she still misses him terribly.
He said my father wasn't a good man and that he.
The guy is the only good man she will ever know. Yeah. You sound like a great guy, dude.
[00:25:35] Speaker B: Fantastic.
[00:25:35] Speaker A: Like 10 out of 10. Like what? No, you're. You're under my shoe.
He. He told her that the choices she made in life were because she was a weak, broken woman and that he said that she deserved every bad thing that ever happened to her.
And then she says in like, in parentheses, that she had shared an abusive relationship that she had had where she was beaten and sexually assaulted by the person for. For four years. And he was arrested for how severe the beatings were. And she shared the story that she was proud of herself for escaping that life. And he just listened to me, and now he was throwing that back in her face.
[00:26:15] Speaker B: Oh, of course. Because that's what they do.
[00:26:18] Speaker A: Right. And also good on you for escaping that abusive relationship.
[00:26:21] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:26:21] Speaker A: That is a hard thing to get away from.
And we're. We're glad you're alive because that also ends in death. A lot of times.
[00:26:29] Speaker B: I hope he gets bit by a brown recluse. Yeah, the penis.
[00:26:33] Speaker A: Yes.
He would tell her to stop crying because he did nothing compared to what she had already been through. He would say he doesn't have a conscience. Let a guilty one, because he's a psychopath.
He's a psychopath.
[00:26:53] Speaker B: I wonder how Suzanne would diagnose him.
[00:26:56] Speaker A: I Don't know. We'll have to send her this one next to Dude.
So he would just say the most hurtful things you can imagine and brought up every tiny detail from her past. The threats of him leaving if she didn't just stay quiet, became constant, withholding love and affection, criticizing the simple things like coffee that she made for him. He had me early on from the first sleepover meal, prepping all his lunches, waking up at 3:30am to make him breakfast and coffee.
[00:27:24] Speaker B: I just know she's a better woman than me. God.
[00:27:27] Speaker A: I mean. I mean, good on you.
You are a good you. You were a wife. You're a wife without being a wife.
[00:27:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:34] Speaker A: And he took advantage of you for that. And you are obviously a good person and wanted to take care of him.
She provided everything and he never compensated.
These men are just using us for money. I swear to God. And they say we're. We're the gold diggers. No, they're the gold diggers.
I bought everything that he asked for.
He is a lineman.
[00:27:59] Speaker B: Oh, no way.
Of course he is. Of course he is.
[00:28:05] Speaker A: Yes, of course.
Especially after everything that just happened. Like, dear God, he started saying, you know, every woman wants a lineman because we make good money, live great lives, and we can do anything we want.
I've never, ever thought to myself, I want a lineman.
No, that's literally never crossed my mind.
[00:28:24] Speaker B: I don't know. Like, my idea is, like, when my grandmother was in the hospital in icu, I was in the lobby with another woman and her husband was in ICU because he was alignment and he had touched the power line. So I've never wanted to be with a lineman because I can't get past that. Because he was going to pass away that day.
[00:28:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. It's a dangerous job for sure. Which is why they do make the money that they make. But also, like, I wonder if that plays into, like, the psychology of, like, why they live the way they live.
[00:28:53] Speaker B: No, they're just hoes.
[00:28:54] Speaker A: But, yeah, I'm like, if I'm gonna
[00:28:57] Speaker B: date a hoe, I really think men act like stray dogs and, like, they're not neutered, so they just think they need to stick their penis and everything. Like, maybe it's a psychological thing for them.
[00:29:06] Speaker A: Yeah, maybe it's gross. Oh, she says women want to have that too. And that's why we can do whatever we want to you guys.
Oh, no, you can't just do whatever you want.
[00:29:18] Speaker B: No.
[00:29:19] Speaker A: I didn't even know about everything, anything about that career until I Met him. So I had no agenda. And I would tell him, since I pay for everything for you, food, drinks, toiletries.
Those comments don't really apply to me. But every time I stood up for myself, the way he would treat me got worse. Until the last Sunday in March. He ended things, blaming me for everything. He said I wasn't worthy of the air I was breathing.
[00:29:44] Speaker B: No, sir, you're not worthy of the
[00:29:46] Speaker A: air that you're breathing, that she's breathing. You're not worthy of her air.
[00:29:49] Speaker B: And we would like to take your air away.
[00:29:51] Speaker A: Yeah, go touch a hotline power line.
I wanted to end my life.
And I didn't hold back from telling him that that's what he was causing me to feel. No reassurance, just a comment. Well, you know, horizontal is for attention, verticals for the results.
So he told her how to kill herself by cutting her thrust, telling her to go up the river instead of across the pond. Wow.
And as somebody who has also been suicidal before because of what Dick put me through, like, that's a hard thing to deal with and to go through. And I'm glad that you're still here. I'm glad you didn't do that. Also, he's disgusting for saying that to you.
And I hope that you were able to get into therapy and, you know, work through this and get. And get some help for this, because this. That's a disgusting thing to say to somebody, especially somebody that supposedly loves you, to have that said to you. That's awful. She said she would be crying hysterically, begging him to stop talking to her like that and help her to love her through the pain because it was killing her.
He was often just enough to send a text saying, your kids need you. Don't say that. But on the phone, he would tell her otherwise. She spent a week in bed without eating, lost 12 pounds in six days, felt like she was dying, begging him to fix it, wondering why I wasn't enough, which is an episode we're getting ready to do with our therapist, is talk about why we feel like we're not enough. So stay tuned for that.
And she asked him to help fix what he caused. And he would stay silent and give replies like, if you would have only learned how to shut your mouth, we would still be together.
That was enough to keep her hooked and beg for more, for a chance to stay quiet and gain his love. He circled back on the Friday following the discard he did to me the Sunday before. I've been quiet most of the day to him, wasn't sending the begging text or voice notes, not calling him hundreds of times to explain myself again and again. I was almost a week in and getting my footing and he sensed that and pulled me right back in with a video he sent saying a man doesn't leave a woman for someone prettier. He leaves because she became his biggest stress.
You leave because you can't handle your own and don't know how to talk to somebody.
[00:32:07] Speaker B: Right.
[00:32:07] Speaker A: Don't blame us for your stress. You're so full of.
She fell right back into begging, pleading, trying to explain her feelings. We talked on the phone after the text exchange just for him to tell me how horrible I was and undeserving of love that I am and that he is still done with me. But if I want him to come over and hit it.
Yeah.
[00:32:29] Speaker B: Ew.
[00:32:30] Speaker A: And he's 47 so he's speaking to her like this and she declined and told him that was just another way to be disrespectful and hurt her. He proceeded to say that he was going to miss her kids and her granddaughter that lived with her and that he was going to reach out and take them to ice cream and things just because he was done with her and didn't mean that he had to lose them.
That conversation ended badly and yesterday was the worst day of me heart spiraling through thoughts of self harm because I'm convinced that I have no worth. He broke me and while my hope is to put myself back together, I will never be the same. She also sent a follow up email after that where she said that he had asked her if she was okay with doing anal and she said no.
And but that if they got married she would consider it. And he was asked her if she would call the police if he like forced himself on her and did it.
[00:33:25] Speaker B: Oh, so like he was going to be a sexually abused. Yeah.
[00:33:28] Speaker A: So after already knowing she'd already been through a sexually abusive relationship prior to.
[00:33:32] Speaker B: Oh yeah, he didn't care. He cares nothing about her.
[00:33:35] Speaker A: No. And here's the thing. So this is very recent for you.
Thank you for sending this in. You're still dealing with this and you're still spiraling.
I will tell you for me personally from having suicidal thoughts.
My therapist was amazing and that was a huge part of it for me was getting, you know, I had my therapist, I was already established with her which did help. But if you're not established with somebody, definitely get with somebody and I recommend getting a female and I recommend getting a female that is around your Age. So someone who knows what you've been through.
[00:34:05] Speaker B: It's really important that you do your research on your therapist before just selecting one.
[00:34:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:34:10] Speaker B: Because you want somebody that can relate to you and have this same type of moral compass as you.
[00:34:16] Speaker A: Yes, absolutely. And then also medication.
[00:34:19] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:34:20] Speaker A: That is an option for you. And I would definitely, if.
If you are not already on something and you are considering it, definitely talk to somebody. Even if you just go to, like, the websites like hers.com and talk to the online doctors and tell them how you're feeling and everything, to be able to get medication quicker to get it in you to help with those feelings and help stabilize you, because they do work.
You just have to find the right one for you.
We're obviously not doctors. We are not recommending anything, but my recommendation is to do the research and
[00:34:50] Speaker B: talk to people and feel free to message us on the sidelines if you have any more questions about it or if any of our listeners have any questions about any of it.
If you're local and need a recommendation for a therapist or anything like that, let us know.
We'll help you as best as we can.
[00:35:07] Speaker A: Yeah, we absolutely will. So definitely thank you for sharing your story. I hope that this is the beginning of your healing process.
And DM us, we're here for you, you know, if you need to talk or anything. And our community is your community. And I think that if you post in the comments and talk to everybody, that you'll see that a lot of people have been through the same thing.
[00:35:26] Speaker B: Absolutely.
[00:35:26] Speaker A: So.
But you're worthy of being here. Do not let any man tell you that you're not. You're 100 worthy of being here.
And your story alone is going to help other women realize that, too.
[00:35:38] Speaker B: We have to change our mindset of trying to be worthy for a man because we are worth it. Every day you wake up, you look in the mirror, you're worth it. You, you 100. You're worth it. You're worthy of love.
You are worthy of being treated right. And just because this man isn't doing it. And maybe, I mean, it's not our fault that the generations have changed and that they're not acting appropriately, but that does not change your worth.
[00:36:05] Speaker A: Yep. And one of the things we talk about is, like, instead of investing more time into men, let's invest more time into our friendships, because that love is gonna be the love that gets you there in the long run anyway. They're the ones that are gonna be there for you when everything else hits the fan.
[00:36:18] Speaker B: And sometimes you don't need a male for a soulmate. Sometimes it really is your friends.
[00:36:22] Speaker A: That's right.
[00:36:23] Speaker B: And your family.
[00:36:24] Speaker A: Yeah, 100%.
So that's our story for today.
We hope that everybody has a great week, and we will see you next week.
[00:36:36] Speaker B: Bye, guys.
[00:36:37] Speaker A: Bye. This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances, contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 256-801-1000 or visit them online at www.alabamalaw.com. when your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
